Chapter 72
NATHAN
"Why are we here, Nathan?" she asks as I park in front of the hotel where I brought her the first time we met.
"Because we are."
"Are you trying to emotionally manipulate me?"
"I know you, girl. So you know that's not my intention." Her phone vibrates again. The idiot must be calling her for the hundredth time.
"Turn off that crap," I say before getting out of the car.
She follows me to the elevator.
"Ryan... I think it's best if I leave."
"You're staying here."
"Why?"
"It's the only way to make sure he's far away from you."
"That's ridiculous. Are you planning on keeping me here forever?"
"It's not a bad idea."
"You've lost your mind."
"Stop talking." I can't think straight. My head is a mess.
I open the door to the suite, enter, and pour a drink. She stands still.
"Sit down," I command. She sighs but sits.
"Tell me what to do to make you understand?" she asks, staring at the floor.
"What do you want me to understand?"
"That I'm not going to do this anymore. That I'm only near you because I can't give up my job."
"You're not being honest with yourself."
"Don't you understand that it's impossible?"
"Why?"
"Because I can't do what you want. I can't keep doing things your way. Because it's going to hurt me. It's already hurting me."
"Just tell me that you're not going to be with him," I plead. She closes her eyes, and when she opens them, they're full of tears.
"What do you want me to do, Nathan? Drown more each time I see you? Every day? Go crazy with your memories?" The tears start streaming down her face. My instinct makes me sit beside her.
"Do you think I don't feel the same? Do you think it's easy for me to see that you're trying to forget? I don't want you to forget."
"What should I do with something that can't continue?" I wipe the tears from her face.
"Don't do this. We can keep going..."
"No! You're crazy. I haven't forgotten what you did that night."
"I've apologized. I lost control."
"I can't."
"You can."
"No! Because I feel more than I should feel. Is that what you want to hear?" Is she saying she likes me? She can't like me. "And I know you don't feel the same. I can't do it your way." She stands up and grabs her bag.
"Don't go. I can't let you go."
"You don't have a choice. You can't give me what I want from you. I'm going to stay away from you and Ryan for good." The tears become more intense.
"No."
"Yes! This is the kind of thing you can't control. Don't make it harder."
"No, Kate."
"Goodbye, Nathan." She turns to leave.
Don't let her go. Don't be a coward. Tell her. I remain seated, not saying a word. The door slams shut as she leaves. I can't.
Damn it. Does she like me? And now she's suffering because of me. I shouldn't have let this happen. I can't give her what she wants. She deserves more. More than a guy who just wants to sleep with her. I'm sorry, Kate.
I grab the whiskey bottle from the table.
"Son, are you really okay?" My mother asks again. Damn it, I can't even hide my fucked up face.
"Yes, mom."
"I liked it better when you used to come to me for help, no matter what happened to you," she says, leaning on the kitchen counter.
"I'm fine, don't worry." I approach her to kiss her forehead.
"Good morning!" Stephan appears at the door. "What is Mr. Kindness doing here at this time?" He must have thought something terrible happened for me not to be working.
"Stephan!" Mom scolds him. He's right. I didn't have the guts to go to Ryan's. I don't know what I would do if she wasn't there, or even if she was.
"I just took a day off to stay at home... here," I say. Maybe it was a terrible idea to cancel my appointments today. I can't let this affect my business.
"This is your home, son. Well, I have to go out with Ellie now. But if you need anything, let me know." I nod. Stephan sits on the stool next to me.
"So what happened this time?" He asks, grabbing an apple. "Does it have something to do with your hot assistant?"
"I don't think you're the best person to help me with this."
"And who would be?" He's right. Who else can I talk to about this?
"She slept with another guy and said she's going to distance herself from me and the company."
"You said slept, did you mean fucked?"
"You can't take anything seriously."
"Okay. Sorry. Did you say she's going to distance herself from you? I thought she already had?"
"If she leaves Ryan, I won't see her anymore, and then..."
"Nat, I thought you said you don't like her, so why do you care? If it's just about sex, I can guarantee you'll survive."
"Do you want me to say I like her? That's pathetic. Why do you keep insisting on this?"
"That's life, my brother. Sometimes we fall for someone without even realizing it, unfortunately, I think it's your turn, and you don't want to admit it."
"I'm not..." I can't be in love with her.
" The more you delay admitting it, the more time you'll be wasting, and leaving space for others in her life."
"Do you want me to tell her I'm in love with her? And then what will happen? Do you want me to ask her to be steady too?
"What I want is for you to be truthful with her and with yourself. If she likes you, she'll probably want to be with you. You both like each other, right?"
"It's not that easy. She doesn't accept things my way."
"Nat, Nat, a relationship can't be like that. I'm no expert on this, but I think both parties need to come to an agreement and all that crap. You should understand these things, by the way, you already dated Mia."
"That's another reason why I don't want a relationship."
"Then be willing to forget about this girl."
"I liked the idea of making her accept things my way."
"I don't know her very well, but I think that option has been ruled out."
"I've always had everything under control, and now I have no idea what to do."
"Why don't you consider throwing caution to the wind and giving it a try, Nat?"
"Because I haven't done that, and I'm already dealing with a lot of shit."
"Maybe it will be an even bigger mess if you don't try."
Hell! Why is this happening to me? I don't want a relationship. Just remembering what happened to my relationship with Mia makes me dismiss the idea.
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