Chapter 60
KATE
"Get out," I say without looking at him.
"Kate..."
"Go." I take a deep breath. I wanted to bury my face in a hole. Nathan passes by Lisa, slamming the door and leaving us alone. Her expression is one of complete disbelief.
"Do you have something to tell me?" she asks, approaching me.
"I could lie and say he came to talk about work, and this happened accidentally. But no. I... We... We're..."
"In a relationship?"
"It's just sex."
"Wait... you and him already... Kate!"
"I know! It's wrong!"
"Kate..."
"Shit! He's my boss! Yes! I know!" I feel shame consuming me.
"Have you been sleeping with him since you started working for him?"
"No. It's complicated."
"I'm hurt that you didn't tell me, but it's okay, Kate. I'm your friend. If you don't want to tell me, it's okay. But now you seem... I don't know... lost."
I think I really need to talk to someone about this.
"I met Ryan that night you left me at the club. He's the guy I liked." I sit on the couch.
"So you met him before you started working for him? That's not so bad. At least I can rule out that he harassed you."
"Yes. I didn't know he would be my boss and vice versa."
"I don't even understand. How is that possible?"
"From the beginning... I went with him that night, and we had sex."
"Your first time?" She seemed shocked.
"Yes."
"God!"
"Continuing... We didn't see each other again after that night. Until the first day at Ryan. Until I found out he would be my boss."
"This is crazy!"
"I know! And now we're like this, as you saw. And damn it! I know it's wrong! And I feel horrible about it."
"You feel guilty for sleeping with your boss?" I nod, and she joins me on the couch.
"I understand. It's kind of bizarre. It seems like something out of a movie."
"I'm being a slut. Am I not?"
"No, Kate! I know you. You're not a slut. The big question is, why are you with him? From what you said, it's just for the sex. Isn't it?"
"I think so."
"You think?"
"It's complicated, Lisa."
"God! Do you like him?"
"No. I don't know..."
"Kate?"
"I think I'm starting to like him."
"And does he know that?"
"Of course not."
"Does he like you?"
"No, Lisa. For him, it's just sex, and it should be the same for me too."
"To me, it's pretty clear that you're not the type of woman for that."
"That's kind of obvious, isn't it?"
"Yes, because I know you. Does anyone else know?"
"No."
"That's what I thought. Did he propose all of this?"
"Well, yes. No. I mean, I said yes. But I know it's wrong in so many ways."
"You're completely lost."
"Lisa, it's all so... amazing. I mean, the sex is amazing! I didn't want to keep doing this, but I can't stop. I want him, and I'm talking about desire more than any affectionate feeling."
"Wow! The bastard must be really good in bed."
"You have no idea."
"Right. You want to continue with this because you love sleeping with him, and you're also starting to have feelings for him. On the other hand, you feel it's wrong because he's your boss."
"I don't want to have feelings for him."
"I think it's already too late, Kate. I also think you care a lot about what other people will think if they find out."
"They'll think I'm a slut, that I'm with him only for money or to benefit at work."
"We know that's not true. But you know it's going to hurt you somehow, right?"
"I know."
"I don't want him to hurt you, Kate."
"What should I do?"
"It would be ideal to end this, but you said you can't."
"I already tried to distance myself, Lisa, but it seems impossible."
"Okay. I think this Ryan must be really good at everything he does. So... since you've decided to continue with him, you'll have to be careful. But now we have an advantage, I'm here to help you."
"He's not going to like that, but I'm glad."
"He doesn't have to like it."
"You have no idea what he can do."
"You're talking about..." She laughs, suggesting something sexual.
"No! I'm talking about how much of a jerk he can be."
"Kate, what worries me is your nonexistent experience with men."
"Hey! I learned a lot from my romance novels!" I joke. "I think I'm doing okay so far. Even though most of the time, all I want to do is castrate him."
"Kate... do you think all of this means something to him?" I feel sorry for the way she looks at me, and I don't like it. "This Ryan is probably just another jerk. I don't want him to take advantage of you. I've met many guys like him. Don't let him play with you."
"I won't let him."
"You're starting to like him, that's not good. He was your first time! God! I don't even know what to say. I just hope it doesn't interfere with your work in any way."
"Okay, Lisa." I don't want to hear anything more. I'm not that stupid. And she's making me think otherwise.
"On top of everything, he was making you lie to me. I'm going to kill him."
"Sorry about that. I was a terrible friend."
"It's okay, but I hope you never hide anything from me again. Now I'm curious. Are you going to tell me how it was?"
"I think we should change the subject. And you? Shouldn't you come back only at night?"
"We had a problem. I didn't know you were so sneaky, Collins. You waited for me to leave to invite Ryan, and I don't even want to know what you would be doing now if I hadn't arrived."
"You can't judge me, you're the queen of erotic scenes."
"Erotic scenes?" She laughs.
"I've lost count of how many times I caught you with your friends."
"You know, now I understand why you rejected Kent. I mean, I wouldn't know how to choose between the two. It would be really hard."
"You're so perverted."
"It wasn't me who was almost having sex on the kitchen counter. Not today." She laughs. "You're not really going to tell me how it was, are you? You've already said everything about how amazing he is. And no one would say otherwise looking at him, but I want to know the details."
"I don't feel comfortable talking about it," I say, getting up from the couch.
"And doing?" She can't hold back her laughter.
"Idiot!" Even after everything, she can still make me laugh.
"You know I'm going to want to know all the times and places you did it."
"Lisa!"
"What?"
"Stop!"
"I just started. What do you expect? My Collins has started discovering the world of sex, and you don't think I'll want to know everything?"
I shake my head, but end up laughing.
"Sandwich?" I ask, opening the fridge.
"Please!"
I see my phone vibrate again on the coffee table, with a message from Ryan, while watching a movie with Lisa. He's already sent seven, as far as I counted. I haven't read or responded. Not to mention all the calls I didn't answer either. Maybe he'll go crazy. Maybe he'll come back here again. But I don't care. After everything, I don't want to talk to him anymore today. I don't know what to do or think anymore.
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