Chapter 78
KATE
"You're crazy! What the hell is going on in your head?"
" 'It was nice seeing you again, Kate?' "
"Shut up, you idiot."
"Why are you angry? Should I be angry too? 'It was great seeing you'? And what does 'old friend' mean?"
"Never tell anyone that we're dating. I feel disgusted with myself when you say that."
"I just wanted to make it clear that you're with me." At least he didn't use the word "mine" this time. "Disgust? How should I feel about that?"
"What I'm saying is that when I say you're my boss, you can't immediately say we have an intimate relationship. Because it makes me look like the slut who's fucking the boss. And, by the way, we're not dating or anything."
"You agreed to give it a try."
"On my terms. Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"You're annoying."
"And you're an imbecile. Acting like I'm a piece of meat."
"You're not going to tell me who he is?"
"I already said he's a friend!"
"No. You said 'old friend.' I know exactly when that term is used."
"When you have a friend who isn't new? I never slept with him, you asshole! Did you forget? Virgin girl!"
"You didn't sleep with him, but you seemed quite close."
"I'm almost regretting it."
"What happened between you?"
"You know what... I probably should have lost my virginity to him. The chance of you being here now would be very small."
"You've reached my limit." I roll my eyes. "Answer my question. What was he to you?"
"Ridiculous! Do you want a list with the names of all the guys I've made out with?"
"What kind of 'making out'?"
"Do you know the meaning of 'making out'?" I can't help it, and end up laughing. "I can't take you seriously."
"I do, and I don't like it very much. Do you have a list? I think it would be very useful."
"You're an idiot."
"I want to know, Kate."
"Seriously?" I ask incredulously.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"You liked him."
"Why do you think that?"
"It's noticeable. I'm just curious. Especially since you said you could have lost your virginity to him."
"Is this all jealousy?" My God! He's unbelievable. "Chris was from my school, I went out with him for a while."
"And the 'making out' part? Almost losing your virginity?"
"It was the last party of the year, he took me home... then we made out on the couch, and then he left."
"Just that? Why didn't you go further?"
"For God's sake, Ryan! I was sixteen... and I was... scared."
"Scared of..." He doesn't finish. I see a hint of a smile forming on his face.
"You idiot. Not that."
"It doesn't really suit you. The woman who convinced me to break her own hymen." He didn't say that? How awful.
"Oh, my God! Never repeat that sentence again." He laughs.
"Why? It's the truth."
"It's embarrassing."
"You shouldn't be embarrassed, you're a bitch."
"Thank you. You should reconsider your romanticism."
"Why?"
"Try it my way, remember?"
"Romance has nothing to do with you."
"That offended me." I try to maintain a serious expression, but end up smiling.
"Tell me. What were you afraid of?"
"You're very curious today. I don't ask about your past relationships."
"I prefer if you ask. I've only had one. It's much better than ending everything like last time."
"Are you willing to talk?"
"If you are."
"Alright. I was afraid of falling in love with him and being stuck here. I had plans that couldn't be interrupted. That's it."
"Always thinking about work."
"And you don't?"
"Yes. Until you showed up and distracted me." Why did these sentences never match him? And why can't I fully believe it?
"Sorry for that. But I didn't ask you to come here."
"Believe me, it was long before that." He sits on the couch.
"When exactly?" He gestures to his side, asking me to sit down.
"When you disappeared from that hotel room."
"That was a while ago." I sit down.
"Why was he here?"
"Chris?" He nods. "He came to see me. That's all."
"Why?"
"Seriously? Are you going to keep asking?" I can't distinguish where his jealousy ends and possessiveness begins. "I don't know, Ryan. Maybe because he wanted to see me?"
"He still likes you."
"So you know how he feels? Amazing."
"It's written all over his face. What did you decide?"
"About what?"
"To get back with me."
"I'm not going to give up my position at Ryan. Unless you don't want to fire me for just cause, after all, I left without notice."
"Because of me. Forget it. That's great. And what about us?"
"I thought... what would happen if I said no?"
"Are you kidding? After everything?" He asks with irritation.
"You would keep chasing me, wouldn't you? There wouldn't be the slightest possibility of working in peace."
"I don't know what else to say to you. I've said and done everything I could. More than I've said and done for anyone else."
"I still think you only want me for sex."
"I can't make you feel what I feel when I'm with you, or what I feel when I'm not. I can only tell you, but I can't make you see if you don't want to. Don't you think if it were just about sex, I could be with anyone else?"
"I don't know. You might think I'll always be available when you need me."
"That's enough. You're being ridiculous."
"You know that the possibility of this working out is huge, and the possibility of hurting me is even greater."
"Why don't you believe me, just once?"
"I don't want anyone to know."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's continue as always, nobody will know."
"I thought you hated that?"
"Yes. But it's better this way, you're still my boss."
"Fine."
"And you'll stop harassing me at work."
"I can try. So, what are we..."
"No. But it's not an open relationship either. So, be careful."
"What is it, then?"
"No labels, Ryan."
"But can I complain if someone looks at you?"
"Asshole."
"And can I say that you're mine without objections?" He asks, pulling me closer.
"When you're not super controlling and possessive, I think so."
"And will you come back with me?"
"No."
"You still work for me, Kate, and you missed Friday without giving any explanation. It's not good to miss again."
"Are you using work to blackmail me?"
"Maybe."
"I can't believe it," I say, laughing.
"I have to go back tomorrow. I had to reschedule all my appointments on Friday because of you."
"Fine. I'll go back, but not with you."
"You'll go back with me." I roll my eyes. So stubborn.
"Look, I need to leave now... it's better if you go." I stand up.
"Where to?"
"It's none of your business."
"Of course it is. Now we have a relationship, no labels, but it's still a relationship."
"That's enough!"
"You know I won't leave unless you tell me."
"Blackmail again?" He shrugs. "I'll remember that. I made plans to meet up with some old friends."
"Only female friends?"
"You can leave now, Ryan."
"Don't you want to introduce me to your friends?"
"Goodbye!" He kisses me and tries to convince me to have sex before leaving, reluctantly.
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