Chapter 66
NATHAN
We took the elevator to the parking lot.
"I'm not going to your house. If you want to talk, start talking," she says, stopping.
"Are you afraid to go with me?"
"Do you think I'm going to deny the desire I feel for you? I'm not. But I prefer to avoid your seduction games. Let's be practical," she says, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Is it because of Mia?"
"Please," she rolls her eyes.
"You accepted the agreement."
"Fuck the agreement. I don't want it anymore. It's simple."
"Why?"
"For everything. But mostly for myself. I don't want to do this anymore."
"Kate..."
"Please. I want you to respect my decision. And don't worry, we know that there are many women who..."
"Don't be ridiculous!"
"Fuck, I want more, Ryan! And you can't give me more. If I ever want to have a relationship with someone, I don't want it to be like this... hiding from people, like I'm doing something wrong. That's all. And you shouldn't care so much."
"You want more? What do you want? A damn relationship, so you can say you're dating someone?"
"You don't understand, because you're used to it, sleeping with someone different every day of the week, like it's normal. But it's not. It's completely disgusting."
"I don't do that."
"No. You don't do it every day, do you? But what's the difference?"
"What does that have to do with what's happening between us? We're together in some way, and I'm not seeing anyone else. Just us two, Kate."
"Us and sex."
"And what's wrong with that, damn it?"
"The sex is amazing. I can't deny that. I'm not denying it. But what's beyond that? Nothing. That's the problem. This kind of relationship is sick. Using people and discarding them when desire is gone. I deserve much more than that, Nathan, and I sincerely hope you understand, and don't contact me anymore," she turns to leave, walking towards her car. Say something, Ryan. Say something that will make her stay. Fuck! What could I say? She wants more, and I can't offer more.
The phone rings and I allow myself to imagine it could be her, regretful. But no, it's Stephan.
"Nat?"
"What?"
"Is everything okay?"
"No."
"You didn't solve your problem?"
"The problem kicked my ass."
"Man, that's bad! But since you don't like her, I guess you won't be sad, right?"
"Are you going to keep insisting on that? What do you want?"
"To help you, by taking you out for a night with hot and drama-free women in New York."
"That's a terrible idea."
"Really? You're going to keep crying over her?"
Damn it. He won't leave me alone.
"Fine. But then leave me alone."
"At nine." He hangs up.
Maybe he's right. Maybe it's time to go back to being the old Ryan. I can't do anything else for us, I can't give her what she wants, because she wants a damn relationship. As difficult as it may seem, I won't lose my mind. I have to stop thinking about it. I'll miss her, her smell, her taste, seeing her come, teasing me... how she easily gets me hard. Like now, just thinking about her. But I'll forget.
KATE
"Are you ready, Kate?" It was a bad idea to accept Lisa's invitation.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Come on, cheer up! Don't let him do this to you."
"I'm trying."
"You're going to love the place!"
"Can't I stay home? You can go alone."
"Do you think I'm going to leave you here suffering over that jerk? Never!"
"Lisa..." I protest, but she pulls me.
"You're going to love it, the place is well-attended and full of hotties."
"Do you think that's what I want? Another jerk?"
"These jerks are different," she laughs. "Come on!" she says, after locking the door and still laughing. "Kate, it's going to be okay. I know it's going to be hard, but you're going to be okay. Okay?"
"Okay. I'm fine."
"No, you're not," she says with a smirk.
The place is busy, noisy, and quite spacious, Lisa pulls me through the crowd, holding my hand. I can't drink, I have to take us home. Don't forget that, Kate. At the bar, she orders two whiskeys from the bartender.
"Lisa, no drinking too much, okay?"
"Don't be a party pooper, Kate."
"We have to make it home alive, and early because we work tomorrow."
"Okay, I promise not to overdo it."
The bartender serves the whiskey.
"I think the dance floor is calling us," she says, nodding her head towards some guys who are smiling excessively at us in the crowd of bodies.
"They're all yours."
"First this." She takes a sip of whiskey and then smiles cheekily at one of the guys.
"How do you do it?"
"What?"
"You're crazy."
"I'm crazy? You were the one going out with Nathan Ryan."
"Thanks for reminding me."
"Sorry, just kidding. Now, are we going?"
"I don't think it's a good idea."
"Kate!"
"Give me a few minutes."
"Okay, but if you don't show up, I'm coming to get you."
"Deal." She leaves, heading towards the dance floor.
NATHAN
The first time I go out in a long time, and I already have to face the damn paparazzi.
"Let's go somewhere else," my brother suggests.
"Maybe it's better to just go back home."
"What? Giving up so easily, Nat?"
"I'm not as young as you anymore."
"No excuses."
We stop in front of another club that's a block away.
"I know this place," Stephan says as I look for a place to park.
"I'd be surprised if you didn't."
"You can't judge me, Ryan."
We enter the club and make our way to the bar, passing through the crowd. We approach the counter and lean against it.
"I know you don't want to talk about it, but what happened with Kate?"
"She wants more."
"And you said no."
"She knows I don't want that kind of relationship, so she decided to end it."
"That means she likes you?"
"No."
"Then why does she want more?"
"She didn't say she wants more with me, she just said she doesn't want to continue with sex."
"Exactly. That means she likes you."
"You don't know her. She's not as kind as she appears on the outside, and she's not like the others."
"You know what I think? I think you like her."
"And I think you should keep your opinion to yourself."
"Whiskey?" I nod and he places his order with the bartender. "So, it's over?"
"Yeah."
"And you're okay with that?"
"I can't do anything, Stephan."
"And you hate that, you've always hated not being able to control things." I shrug, he's right. I feel like there's a bomb about to explode inside me, and I can't do anything. Just wait until time runs out and it explodes.
Stephan is flirting with a girl who just approached him. I should be, too, but I don't feel like it at all. Just like the other times. I leave him talking to the girl and head towards the back, trying to find the bathroom.
KATE
I feel an arm wrap around my waist, I push it away and turn to see who it is. The guy is tall and blonde, with a thick beard. He smiles and approaches, completely invading my personal space.
"Hi! What's your name, beautiful?"
"I'm Katherine." He leans in, bringing his face close to my ear.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Katherine. I'm Oliver. Can I dance with you?"
"I don't know how to dance, Mr. Oliver."
"Lying is not nice, Miss. I saw you." He's sexy. His mouth looks so inviting, and I'm not sure if I can blame these thoughts on the alcohol. By the way, how much did I drink?
"You mean you saw my embarrassing moves."
"Not at all, they're quite exciting, to be honest."
"Thank you for... your kindness?"
"I can be very kind at times."
"What do you mean?" He pulls me towards him, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Dance for me." I laugh at the idea.
"Sorry, I don't dance, really."
"Then do that thing you were doing before I came to talk to you."
"That's going to be ridiculous."
"Please. I'll try too."
"Okay. Let's be ridiculous together."
NATHAN
I try to make my way back to the bar, navigating through the crowd of people on the dance floor. Determined to leave. I spot Stephan dancing with the girl and head in their direction, but when I look to the side, adrenaline takes over my body. Maybe I'm crazy, but it seems very real. Did I drink too much and not realize it? No! It's real! Rage seizes me in seconds. Son of a bitch!