Chapter 31

Lsabella's pov :
When I came back, Xavier was sitting on the couch with only a dim light on.
His back was to me, not sure if he was asleep or reflecting on what he had done.
I turned on the chandelier in the living room.
The light turned on wide, instantly lighting up the room. Xavier seemed to wake up from his dream, and he turned to look at me at the door.
The look of surprise on his face disappeared when I looked at him expressionlessly.
"You're back?" He asked in a small voice.
"Yeah."
I went around and sat down in front of him as I deliberated on how to speak.
This was the first time something like this had happened to us, my Beta, and he'd lied to me. And it was a big deal, Olivia wasn't dead but she was close, she was still the quasi-Luna of the largest pack on the East Continent.
And that's just what I know, what about the ones I don't know? Who else has he killed?
But what hurts and haunts me the most is that I know he did it all for me.
I asked Xavier to swear eternal loyalty to me, not to put his life on the line to preserve my dignity.
Halfway through the day, I finally spoke, the words stuck in my throat, so hard they made me want to shed tears.
"Is it because of me?"
"Yes."
Thank the moon goddess, Xavier did not intend to lie to me again. I was surprisingly calm again at the moment, and I didn't scold him for the dangerous situation he would put Blood Moon Pack in by doing so.
"You should go back tonight, Blood Moon Pack can't go this long without the two of us. And we just disrupted the rogues' activities, so I suspect they'll start with us if they want to retaliate. Just take care of protecting the territory, and I'll take care of the Moonstone myself."
Xavier didn't answer me.
I looked up and saw Xavier's eyes that showed a desperate look.
"Lsabella? Are you going to abandon me?"
His words were like a million needles stabbing me finely in the heart, and for some reason, his sad expression made me so sad too.
"Why do you think so?" My voice was already shaking, I have never been in such pain: "You are my Beta, the person I trust most in this world. But look at what a risky thing you've done to yourself? If the person you met then was not me, how can you guarantee that you are still safe now?"
"Just... like that?"
He spat out those words in pain as if he was about to suffocate.
"What?" I couldn't understand his thoughts anymore, "Are you thinking that this isn't a big enough deal?"
"Am I just your Beta? Is that all?"
Looking into Xavier's glowing red eyes, I sensed something different, but my mind couldn't catch them.
Xavier was waiting for my reaction, and I could see the anticipation in his eyes slowly dying out. I didn't want to cause him pain, because I didn't know when his pain would be my pain.
But my brain is down, I can no longer think about what kind of answer Xavier wants from me, if I understand what he needs now, I may satisfy him regardless of the consequences.
Xavier suddenly took my arm and then pulled me over with a violent push, and I let him yank me into his arms.
I lay on his chest, and we were so close that I could hear his violent heartbeat.
He stared at me for two seconds, then kissed me hard.
Cold lips overlapped, and I completely received his endless pain in that moment of touch.
His tongue probed into my mouth and I indulged him in everything. Seemingly trying to get the slightest solace from me, he sucked on my tongue, the tip of which did not let up in exploring any area. His kiss was completely driven by emotion, without any skill, instead his lips trembled slightly from the pain.
It was a kiss that encompassed endless pain and sorrow, and we both looked at each other with our eyes open, looking at the sadness and despair in each other's eyes.
But it was enough for us to fall, he was my Beta, and I had my own MATE, and we went against the will of the moon goddess again and did things purely according to our emotions.
So Xavier had such feelings for me...
When did this start, and how long was it secretly hidden?
My tears fell uncontrollably, they slid down my cheeks and landed on his hands again.
He gently kissed away the traces of my tears.
Xavier's eyes were also red, and as if he was slowly waking up from a crazy dream, he let go of me, then turned sideways so I could make it to the couch.
He got down on one knee.
"I said I loved you before, not because I read your plans, but because I subconsciously just said it with all my heart. No matter how you want to punish me for my offense, I will not complain, I only ask you to still continue to believe me, other than that, I have never cheated you again."
I had no more strength to speak, and looking at Xavier's pleading gaze, I nodded my head.
"I beg you to stop holding back while you suffer insults, or I can't control my hands to stop killing people."
I jerked my head up, but couldn't be bothered to chastise him.
Xavier stood up slowly, his eyes downcast and sad as if he had lost all meaning in his life. But why should he treat me as the meaning of his existence? I merely saved his life ten years ago, just this kindness then, he has long since repaid.
But I don't dare to ask Xavier now, I'm afraid of any answer he might give me, I'm still Jasper's mate, I haven't dissolved my relationship with him yet. There's no way to get verification on the fake mate thing either, and it's all simply not fair to Xavier.
But could I really just let Xavier go back alone?
Kyra can already handle most things with the wolf pack. In fact, the safest option for us now is for Xavier and I to capture the moonstone together as soon as possible, and then Xavier will send it back to Blood Moon Pack for the ceremony. I, on the other hand, will stay in the Blue Moon Pack to circle around and try not to let things fall through.
These are for public use, what about the private part?
I knew what I was afraid to admit, even though my heart kept twisting, but it would be too unfair to Xavier.
Xavier suddenly squatted down in front of me, and he raised his hand to gently wipe away my tears that were running down again.
He looked at me with fascination, pain and despair with a little hope.
"Why are you in such pain, too?"
"I don't know."
"Let me stay, trust Kyra about the Blood Moon Pack. i swear i won't be lying anymore, i'll stay with you, and you can supervise me."
I looked at Xavier in front of me and I knew I never wanted him to get hurt. I was trapped between Xavier and Jasper and didn't know how to break free.
I was also driven into a frenzy by the moonstone, and I prided myself on being calm.
I stroked Xavier's face, and I tried to advise him one more time: "Do you remember our plan? In order to use Jasper to get the moonstone, I have to pretend to agree to be his Luna, I have to act and play mate relationship with him. I'm going to..."
"I know." Xavier interrupted sharply.
"I know, I know all about it, and I won't interrupt your plan." Xavier has red eyes, but still calmly told me: "I know this is the plan you have been preparing for ten years, I will not be a stumbling block for you, I will not be impulsive again, you must believe me."
I hesitantly looked at Xavier's hopeful eyes, I was not distrusting him, I was distrusting my own decision.
I was afraid that one day I would regret it, after all, Xavier was a special presence in my life.
I finally nodded my head.
I got up and went to the bathroom and washed my face with cool water to clear my head.
Xavier was already happy and he was crouched in the bathroom doorway waiting for me. He said he was too excited, but was afraid I would leave him.
I sighed and hooked my hand at him.
Xavier immediately followed me and sat back down on the couch.
I had now fully accepted the fact that Xavier had terrorized Olivia, but I needed to know more details.
"So it was really Olivia who jumped into the lake of her own accord? And did she say anything else useful?"
"There was one thing, but only a little scrap of information that Olivia accidentally let slip, she said Jasper would do something to you during the full moon."
I was caught in thought, was this deadline not the point, was the key instead the day it would end?
But what could Jasper get from me?
A ploy floated in my mind.
Olivia vomited blood.
I didn't sleep at all last night, and I waited early today in front of Olivia's room.
I watched as the maid brought out the blood-stained water in a panic, and the room was still filled with continuous coughing sounds that seemed to be vomiting out her heart.
Jasper stood anxiously in the doorway, he had brought me here so early in the morning, it seemed he wanted to find evidence and get back at Aaron as soon as possible. so he had already decided that Aaron had done it?
"Lsabella?" Jasper is calling me now.
I followed him towards the end of the corridor.
"What are you thinking about?" Jasper prodded me from the front. "I have something to discuss with you."
"What's the matter?"
"I'm going to hold the Luna ceremony as soon as possible, and it's going to be the night after the full moon."
I raised my head in a flash and stared into Jasper's eyes.
He seemed to have a real ghost in his heart, and he was avoiding my eyes.
"Why are you in such a hurry? Does Olivia want to see you soon for the wedding?"
"Yes," Jasper borrowed my outrageous answer directly: "She wants to witness my future happiness."
I had already made my decision in this moment.
"Yes," I stood on my tiptoes and offered to kiss the corner of Jasper's mouth, "but I have a request."
"You say."
"I want to bring the moonstone to my Luna ceremony, and I want to be the most dazzling Luna on the East Continent."
Jasper seemed to think of a sight like that as I slowly walked up to him wearing a white wedding dress and a moonlight-like moonstone.
"Good," he smiled a very soft smile, as he had when he first gazed at Olivia: "Then we must set out to capture the moonstone as soon as possible."