#Chapter 23- Broken and Overwhelmed

“ I love you, Jacob.” I screamed as he began to walk away from me.
“I don’t love you anymore Ava. I am sorry.” A shadow said as he walked away from my grasp. He walked over to another and gave her a kiss right on her lips in front of me.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” I began to cry clenching my stomach.
“Don;t you get it, half-breed. No one will even want someone like you.” The shadow screamed as it appeared in front of me. It grabbed onto my throat and began to squeeze.
“You do not belong here. Not with a pack. NOT with the humans.” The female yelled as Jacob’s grasp grew tighter.
“You do not deserve to keep breathing.” Jacob said as he brought both hands to my neck and his grasp tighten.
Even clawing at his forearms he would not let go. He was trying to kill me. He wanted to get rid of me. This is why I left the otherworld.
I let out a scream as I jolted up from my nightmare. Sweat stuck to my skin and mu night clothes. I had been tossing and turning the entire might .
It was harder an harder everyday to get to and stay asleep. If I was not having night terrors about Jacob trying to kick me out of the pack, he was attempting to kill me. There were days I was not getting any asleep at all.
I walked down stairs to the kitchen for a glass of water. My throat was dry and scratchy. I found it a little funny that Dream Jacob was growing more aggressive and violent in my dreams.
My dreams and nightmares were not the only problem that I was facing. My mood became more temperamental if not borderline detrimental towards others. I remember snapping at Sally when I told her that I had a few auditions lined up. When she told me that I needed to check with her and Elijah I grew irritable.
**
“Ava true be told you are a good actress but you do not take direction from your superiors.” Sally said as she looked over the documents that I gave her.
“I would not have to be insubordinate if you and others would give me a chance. You said it yourself that I am good at acting but I cannot do better if you give me these tiny parts and crybaby roles.”
I felt a rush of anger enter me. There was a migraine growing at my temples. It was now because I had not gotten headaches since I was fifteen before my transformation.
“Stranger and curious.” I muttered to myself.
“What was that Ava,” Sally said. But it was clear that I was loud enough for Sally to the inner workings of my thoughts.
“Nothing.” I said.
“Be that as it may. YOu contract states t hat Moon controls—-
“Screw my contract! I can barely think for a second without you assholes throwing that piece of paper in my face!” WIthout me realizing, tease began to stream down my face. I slide to the fall and began to sob uncontrollably.

That day Sally comforted the best she could. Ultimately she sent me home and emailed all of the instructors that I was not feeling well. She also let me know that she would have to mention my breakdown to Elijah.
While I was resentful of telling Elijah, Sally’s concern for me was unexpected. I grabbed the glass of water and made my way back to the bedroom.
The private bathroom had a medicine cabinet that held a few things. There was an ice pack, medicine for migraines. Sally bought me some after learning that I caught them.
The one thing that I was searching for was a sleep aid. The actress used heavier stuff paired with liquor to get to sleep. Teresa, the stylist told me that melatonin would help me get sleep as long as I took it at a reasonable time.
I stared at the digital clock: 10 p.m. Shit, I had only been asleep for three hours.
This was agony. As I closed the door to the medicine cabinet, I let out a scream. Thankfully the glass of water was sitting on the nightstand or I would have dropped it.
My eyes. There was a quick flash but enough to notice. It happened again. My eyes flashed back and forth between my natural hazel eye color to the sharp yellow tint. This was the tints of the were.
“That’s not possible,” I whispered. The only times this happened when werewolves where under destress or dying. I may have been overwhelmed with everything going on but I was not dying.
I had to try and calm myself down. I closed my eyes and took deep breathes. In. Out.
“It’s just nerves.” I said to myself in the mirror.
“You have shooting in a couple of days and you are just overwhelmed with excitement. We got this.” I said.
I tried to reassure myself. It must have worked because when I finally opened my eyes they were back to the smoky hazel that I was use to. I took a deep exhale of relief.
“Lucky,” I said. Even luckier that I was not schedule to shoot until the following week. That resulted in me having a few days off from classes and lessons.
I exited the bathroom and took one more swig of water before getting under the sheets. Hopefully I can get some rest.

“And CUT,” I heard the reset as the actor in front of me broke out of character.
“Good job everyone. Take a fifteen and we will shoot the set for the next scene. Ava, you can take longer you won’t be in this one just yet.” The director said as he went to the crafting tent.
The week came and gone as the days for shooting the series started. I would be lying if I did not say I was nervous. The first scene was a sensual interaction between Samantha and a stranger.
It had been a while since I flirted with anyone and I felt myself stumble and recover quicker than anyone could have imagined.
The director joked and asked was that my signature move. Signature moves where easy to notice with famous celebrities and actors. A pause here, a gesture there, some moved their hands when they talked while others used their eyes to capture the audience.
I never gave it any thought and just laughed the directors gestures off as playful banter. I sat in the chair with my name and the character’s name underneath looking over at the next set. It was a scenic location that was very peaceful. Greenery and flowers decorated the area. The only things that stood out was the tape that where used as markers for actors to keep in certain spots for the scene.
All of a sudden I felt a bit of discomfort in my shoulders and arms. I felt a tightness in my chest that was suffocating. It was like Jacob was choking me outside my dreams.
Without starting a panic or drawing attention to myself, I shuffled quickly to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and saw hazel colors looking back at me. I took a deep sigh of relief.
That did not last long.
I covered my mouth with my left hand to muffle the screaming that was coming from me. Even though my eyes were still human I was transforming. I went inside one of the stales and sat on the toilet staring at my claws.
I looked down at my right arm it had shifted to a wolf’s paw with long hairs sprouting from the pores of my forearm.
It was happening like it was last week. But I was not stressed and I knew I was not dying. So why was I still shifting uncontrollably.
I had a sick thought for a moment: Had Jacob rejected me even though I was in the human realm? Was that even possible?
Was my body reacting to the rejection even though we were worlds away?