#Chapter 50: Family Tree

AVA
I never planned on going to Elijah’s invited and unannounced. The last time we spoke the tension between us left me confused and troubled. It did not help that Sissy was now in the human realm trying to mark her territory while simultaneous destroy my life.
But I needed to find out if he and his pack found out any new information about my mother. If they had found out anything new at all. Calling him would be easier for all parties involved.
Truth be told I did not want to have an unexpected run-in with Sissy after our conversation a few days ago. I realized when I returned home-after getting a phone call about missing the meeting-that I was a little too harsh on her. I should not have brought up the selection of the Moon Goddess.
Every wolf and were knew that love was not certain between couples if they were not predetermined mates. One minute you could be sweethearts and planning your future together. Then his/her soulmate enters. After that it is like that relation never existed.
Atleast that is what I was hoping for with Jacob, but he went back to Alex time and again.
“Remember Ava this scene needs to give us emotion.” I heard the director tell me. “I need to feel the hate in your heart. I want to feel my heart ache for you.”
He slowly walked away from the backdrop set and cued us to start.
I tried I truly believed that we would be something more. But I refuse to give in and make sacrifices to my dignity. I love you, but it is not enough.
I thought about Jacob and how he pushed me to an ultimatum.
I will never be yours. And you were never mine, it was all an illusion. I don’t wish you well. I don’t wish ill towards you, but I want ….everyday you wake up to her smile I hope you remember my tears.
I thought of how I needed to be strong for myself and my child.
Everyday you tell each other that you love each other I hope you hear screams of our last argument. I don’t want to taint a love so weak but you will not survive. Your love for her will torment you til your last breath.
Like the director said let my heart ache and even though the words did not hit me as hard as they could. I knew that if I wanted my own happiness I needed to let go of my past.
I shed a tear not for myself but the emptiness I wanted to feel for my character’s bittersweet words.
“And cut—That is all for today everyone! Ava that was perfection.” The director stated as he moved away from the screens.
“You gave me insight on my character’s woe and sorrow. That is the perfection.” I said as I went to grab my bag from the chair.
Many of the others began to leave while others were putting the final details on the records today. I decided to call Elijah after I left the film set to discuss details about my family.
Truth be told I want to tell him about the trouble the newest addition to his household was causing but I noticed after our chat Sissy began to back down.
“Hello?”
Goddess his voice sends chills down my body. It sounded like he was just getting up. Today was his day off.
“Hey, Elijah I was wondering if you were busy?” I said. I tried to keep calm. Memories of us sharing a bed flooded my mind.
“No I am free today. Did you need something?” His voice sounded like it was growing in concern. “Is the baby alright?”
Part of me was joyful that he was checking up on the baby but at the same time I wanted him to worry about me as well.
“I am alright and the baby is fine. I wanted to talk to you about something important. I wanted to know if there was an update on my family.”
Why was it so hard to talk about. I had talked about my mother all the time.
Back when I knew her…or at least I thought I did.
As I exited the studio I noticed that I was being flagged down by the director’s assistant. She was pointing to a clipboard and gesturing with her hands a motioned that looked similar to signing … That was when it hit me she wanted me to sign out.
“Ava, are you still there?” Elijah called out to me.
“Sorry I was going over something and then headed your way.” I quickly scribbled my signature and waved good bye to the woman.
“Alright, I wanted to call you anyway. I was having Grayson stop by with everything that he and the pack found.” Elijah said. For a moment I thought I hard him yawn.
I could just imagine him stretching his long muscular arms, opening his mouth wide sticking his tongue out, and yawn one last time before resting back in bed against me keeping me warm.
Damn hormones.
I pushed my thoughts out and made my way to the countryside. I honestly was surprised that I made it to the car with all the daydreaming I had been doing.
I took a deep breath as I hesitated to turn on the vehicle. I began to wipe away tears that I did not know where falling.
I guess that scene hit me harder than I thought. I need to step away from dramas after this. I was putting my own life experiences into these roles and the results were starting to take a toll on my psyche.
I was uncertain about a lot of things. And that was what was scaring me. I was scared of being left alone. I doubt that Elijah would want an broken and pregnant she-wolf.
You made it this far with all the uncertainty. Ava you can do this.
I pulled out of the parking lot and headed to Elijah’s place. I tried my hardest to dry my tears on the drive there.