Chapter 272: Mrs. Nguyen
*I just moved in. I’m still in the process of getting settled. But I knew that you wanted to see the house. – Rye*
Rye watched the new caseworker walk through inspecting the little house. As the short, skinny Asian woman walked through the house, the same that seemed too full and bursting with everything and anything that she or Michael might need, suddenly it seemed lacking.
Opening the pantry, the woman hmphed and marked something on her clipboard. “You don’t have much food.”
“I just moved in on Saturday and my friends gave me a surprise housewarming and baby shower yesterday.” Rye said smiling at her and hoping that the woman didn’t see through her false bravado. After all, of all the women that were at her house yesterday, she really only knew two. There was no way that she was going to admit that.
“I had planned to go to the store tonight after work.” Rye admitted as the woman opened to refrigerator and saw the remaining fruit, vegetable and meat and cheese trays.
Seeing those in there somehow made Rye feel validated. She almost wanted to add, *see? There’s proof that I had a party.* But she didn’t. Instead, she simply watched the woman mark more down on her clipboard.
The gift card that Chance had given her was in her back pocket. Siobhan said that she would stock up the kitchen, but Rye had issues with using a food bank. She wasn’t embarrassed about them. They reminded her of Donna Leigh and that brought up bad memories.
Mrs. Nguyen criticized everything. The used furniture. The expensive nursery set. The lack of personal touches. Excessive baby clothes.
Nothing seemed good enough. It was something that she knew well. All the times that she was told that she was not good enough. She spent too much time in her books. Rye-Anne come entertain the men – she could still hear her mother trying to coax her out of the closet.
There were so many times that she felt like she was still trapped in that closet. Fighting to get out. Scared to leave.
After the woman left, Rye went to the grocery store and bought food for herself and the formula that Michael would need. After taking everything home and putting it all away she headed for hospital.
Smiling as she drove to the hospital, she couldn’t help but give a little laugh at all the diapers that she had received yesterday. Seventeen boxes. They were stacked and lined up against the nursery wall.
It had been about an hour since Rye closed the door behind Mrs. Nguyen as the elevator doors opened to the nursery floor. Rye was happily making plans in her head of taking Michael home. She was so lost in her thoughts that she missed the sad look on the nurse’s face at the front desk of the floor.
“Hey, Laquetia.” Rye said as she approached the door.
“Honey? What are you doing here?” Laquetia asked as she stood up and approached Rye. Her chocolate features showed the sadness in her voice.
“I came to see Michael.” She said placing a hand on the door handle.
“Honey, why don’t you go sit in the pink room. I’ll call Dr. Hamilton.” She led Rye to one of the conference rooms. It had pink wainscoting and white walls with an array of infant pictures. Rye sat at the round black table in a white plastic chair with pink cushions.
She was getting nervous when Mark walked in and closed the door. Placing a water bottle on the table, he sat in the chair across from her.
“Rye, we got a court order today.” Mark said gently. “We were ordered to hand Michael over to the state. Under the order I can’t give you any information about him. The staff can’t talk to you.”
“But I have guardianship of him.” Rye whispered.
“Not anymore, love.” He said softly. “Did Mrs. Nguyen not tell you?”
“No.” She mumbled as the tears gathered in her eyes. Mark watched as she shut down and she became almost unreadable.
“Thank you, Mark.” Her voice was emotionless.
As she left, Mark called Chance but it went to voicemail.
Rye stood up and left the room. Ignoring the sad looks from the staff, she made her way to the elevator and then her car. The car that Chance had gotten her for Michael. Rye sat in the silver hatchback as she relived all the times that she had failed.
She had promised to keep her mother safe.
Failed.
She had promised to keep her sister safe.
Failed.
She was going to keep in touch with Anthony.
Failed.
Donna Leigh had sold her virginity in exchange for six months’ rent in a crappy two-bedroom apartment. Leigh Anne allowed several men to have her at one time. Multiple times. It wasn’t good enough. Both Donna Leigh and Leigh Anne were raped and beaten. They had to move.
Failed.
She didn’t keep the bruises hidden well enough during school. Police and social workers came to the apartment.
Failed.
She didn’t make it to the food bank before they closed. There was no food in the apartment for a week.
Failed.
She fought off the man Donna Leigh had sent into her room. He beat her sister.
Failed.
She didn’t act right at an event for Gold Star Families. Therapy was suggested.
Failed.
She got rid of the alcohol.
Failed.
She wasted money on school supplies.
Failed.
Her teachers wanted her mother to come to parent teacher night.
Failed.
Her grade slipped to a low ninety causing the teacher to ask questions.
Failed.
She refused to work for Donna Leigh’s pimp.
Failed.
She didn’t get laundry done.
Failed.
Dad’s flag disappeared. Rye later discovered that Leigh Anne had stashed it in the locker in Savanah. At the time that Donna Leigh realized it was gone, Leigh Anne was passed out. Rye was beaten for it.
Failed.
Now, she was not good enough for Michael.
It was just another failure in a long list of them. Maybe Michael would have a better life without her. But she didn’t want to think about someone else raising him.
Rye wanted to raise him. She wanted to watch Chance teach him to fish, just like he had talked about the other night. The pain and loss came harder as she wondered how she would tell Chance that she lost Michael. She wasn’t good enough for him.
She wasn’t good enough for either of them.
She wasn’t good enough for anyone.
