Chapter 281: North Star
*Welcome to North Star. Chance is going to show you how to saddle a horse and I’ll see you two when you get back. – Carly*
Alana gladly agreed to watch Michael anytime Chance and Rye went to see Carly. It did not take long for Rye to discover why Chance had gotten a hatchback. Along with Michael and his carrier was his stroller, diaper bag, and portable bassinet. And that was just for a few hours at his grandmothers house.
There was a vague memory deep in the back of her mind of spending a Christmas at her dad's parents house. Her Uncle Bass and his family had been there. But Donna Leigh was not and she couldn't remember why. They built a snowman with their cousins. It was so idealic that Rye had just about convinced herself it didn't really happen. That was the year that both she and Leigh Anne received their bears holding a picture of their dad. That tangible proof had always given her hope of better days.
As they drove out to the facilities for the North Star Ranch, Rye began to get nervous. Although they had been out before, it was just showing her around. This time she would talk to Carly. Not as someone looking at her house, nut as a therapist. She grew silent and Chance reached over to take her hand in his.
Rye had avoided talking about her past for so long. Now, she had to confront it. Would it be confirmed that she was a failure? She was not sure if she could handle having a professional telling her what she already knew.
“Carly's not scary. I promise.”
“I’m scared that I’m like her.”
“Carly?” Chance asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“My mom.”
“You’re nothing like her.” Chance assured her as they turned through the gates.
He parked near a large barn where Carly was talking with a teen girl. Rye was surprised when Carly told them to go for a ride. As Chance showed her how to saddle the horse, he explained that this was normal for Carly.
“How long have you been riding out here?” Rye asked as they rode through woods.
“About two months.” He admitted. “I was accused of being a sex addict and I was scared that I might be one.”
“What did you find out?”
“That I was not an addict. But there were things that I had a hard time dealing with. Instead of a bottle, I drowned myself with women.”
“Like what?” she asked as they came out of the woods.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. But someday, I promise.” They rode in silence for a moment. “I was a numbers guy in the army. I sent people to their deaths. I sent people to face hell and only went twice myself.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to tell me if you didn’t want to.” She said softly and he reached over grabbing her reins and bringing her to him.
“You told me what haunts your nightmares. It’s only fair that you know what wakes me up.” He told her. Caressing her cheek, he rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t want secrets between us.”
“I’m not ready to tell you all of mine.” She whispered.
“I know.” He gave her a light kiss before leading them through the rest of the trail to the barn. “Just promise me something?”
“What?” she asked as the barn came back into view.
“We won’t lie to each other. And we don’t give each other empty promises.”
“No hollow words.” She added as they rode along the side of the barn.
“Exactly.” He smiled at her, and she smiled back.
“Chance, take care of her horse.” Carly said as they approached her. “Rye, let’s go talk.”
Nervously, she dismounted and followed the woman with freshly dyed purple hair. Today she wore a denim jacket with a hoodie, jeans and work boots. A gray baseball cap with the blue Detroit Lions logo was in place of her regular cowboy hat.
Rye thought about the fact that she had agreed to get a pair of boots for this. But refused to get new clothes. She wore her best pair of jeans and her pink ATL shirt. Chance had insisted on the Wolf Pack jacket and had put a black beanie on her head as he gave her gloves.
He may have secrets, and might be, correction, had been, a little slutty, but he was a good man.
Carly led the way down the pale blue hall to a room. It looked more like someone’s living room than a therapist office. A couple of oversized turquoise wingback chairs sat around a light wood table. There was also a matching love seat with two small pink pillows. In turquoise writing one read, *The more people I meet, the more I like my horse*. In the same writing but bright red, the other declared, *Of course the horse loves me, I have apples*.
“I’m not an interior decorator, but I like my smart-ass pillows.” Carly said motioning to the seating area. “Is tea okay?”
“It’s fine.” Rye said sitting on the love seat. Without thinking, she grabbed the more people pillow.
The pillows were funny and sarcastic. But they also said a lot. It did not go unnoticed by Carly that the pillow was being used as a shield.
Setting the mug of hot tea in front of Rye, Carly sat in an armchair and blew in her cup.
“I looked into your history. I know that there are things that escaped reports. Unless I think that you are a danger to yourself or others, it won’t go in my reports either.”
“Do you?” Rye asked quietly.
“Think you’re a danger?” Carly scoffed and shook her head. “Not even to that damned proverbial fly that never gets hurt. I don’t do the typical lay on the couch and tell me about your childhood therapy. I do have some ground rules. Anything that you say to me is confidential. I will not discuss it with anyone else without your consent.”
Rye nodded and leaned in to pick up her tea off the table.
“I will discuss anything that you want to talk about. Typically, we will go at your speed. There may be times that I push you out of your comfort zone. But this is always a safe place.”
“Decisions that were made for you before you were an adult, are not on you. You had no control at that time. This is something that people have the hardest time with. None of those decisions are on you.”
Rye swallowed hard. That could not be accurate. All those times that she failed. That they had to leave because of her. No, she thought, this woman didn’t understand.
“You think I’m wrong?” Carly asked and Rye nodded her head. “Why?”
