Book 2: Chapter 26

***Chapter 26***

"Shut up, you're joking!" Twila yelled at me.

We decided to head to the outlets because Bradyn couldn't contain her knack for shopping. Kira was right behind her and those two went from store to store getting the most ridiculous things. Twila nor I cared too much to buy much of anything. We mainly tagged along because we were going to get food afterward.

While we sat back and watched the other two shop, I figured I would get her caught up on what's going on with me. Starting by telling her about my situation with Cyrus again. It wasn't what I came here for, but it ended up happening anyway. Call me stupid but that man held my heart in the palm of his hand. It would be impossible for me to say no to anything he suggested.

"What was I supposed to do Twy?" I asked to gain a little perspective.

She looked up at me with a duh-like expression. "Say no! Always say no!"

I rolled my eyes. "It's not as simple as you make it sound," I argue. "Shouldn't that have been expected once I got here? I mean, we have history."

"So do you and Jay, is he even okay with this?"

"If he wasn't I wouldn't have said yes."

Saying all of this out loud did sound a bit strange. I was a small-town girl messing around with two well off guys. One of which was okay with the whole ordeal. It made me wonder if I should have thought more about agreeing to Cyrus's little scheme. Deep down, I did like being able to be close to him again but at what cost? We still had to hide our relationship just like last time. There wasn't much benefiting either of us aside from the fact we'd be able to have a little fun here and there. He was still marrying Jenna and I was still in a weird entanglement with Jay. It could only get worse from there.

Though I can't lie and say that I would have said no to Cyrus even if Jay wasn't okay with it. I should have been more upset at the both of them but instead I folded. Coming here, being a part of this sham of a wedding, and staying at Jays house. It put me right back where I was last year, only this time my feelings were more evolved.

Twila did not agree with any of it but didn't refrain her from giving me words of wisdom. "Be honest, do you truly still have feelings for Cyrus?" She asked such strange questions.

Sighing, I nod my head slowly. "I probably shouldn’t, right? I just don't know what it is about him," I sighed.

"With the way things happened last time, I personally wouldn't give him the time of day," Twila rested her hand on my shoulder. "But I'm always here to support you no matter what."

I smiled softly. "Thanks, Twy."

It was nice to know she would have my back either way. My choice now may be dumb, but I was going to see it through. Cyrus may end up surprising me this time. However, what would Jay and I do then? How on earth were we going to tell him about our relationship without him getting upset? Jay was understanding but with Cyrus' temper, it's safe to assume his reaction wouldn't be the same.

Not dwelling on it too much, there was other important news I had to tell Twila. It was great Kira was distracted with Bradyn. Her hearing this wouldn't make her so happy. This was an old lover for crying out loud! Someone she's worked so hard to get over, but what'll happen when I tell her? Will she fall for her again? What about Kira, how would she feel?

Not coming right out and saying anything, I beat around the bush to get a feel for where she's at.

"Have you talked to Sienna since being here?" I questioned sort of out of the blue.

Twila nervously chuckled as we walked to find our friends. "No, I've been a little preoccupied." She admitted. "There were times where I'd wave to her, but it looks like she’s avoiding me."

That made sense. "Um, don't make a big deal out of this but I think she's jealous," I say after hearing her talk about Twila with Kira.

Twila looked at me like I was crazy laughing. "Jealous? Sienna is not the type to get jealous."

"I don't know Twy, she was pretty upset when she saw you with Kira."

I didn't want Twila getting any ideas ending up in the situation I was in. However, she should know because Sienna might try and get her back. It wasn't ideal, especially after what happened between them last year. Sienna lost out on Twila now she finally sees that. I'm willing to bet she'd stop at nothing to get her back. If Twila knows what's good for her, she'll keep her focus on Kira as she's the one who has been there.

Alas, love isn't as simple as I would like it to be. It's more complex and when Twila eyes lit up for a split second, I knew it was bad. Sienna was her first true love. Hearing that she may be interested in her again was bound to stir her emotions up. It was my job to keep her in check though. She didn’t want to be mixed up with two people. Believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I shake my head knowing what she's thinking. "Don't you even." I say before she could even get a word out.

"Why not? It’s worked for you, maybe it'll be the same for me." She tried to reason with me.

"That's not the point!" I yelled at her. "You've been dying to ask Kira out. You did it and now you're happy. Shouldn't that be enough?"

She nods. "It is, but what if Sienna and I still have something there? Should I just ignore it?"

That was complicated to answer. "I guess not, but then you have to tell Kira," I say making sure she does that.

With a roll of her eyes, she agreed. "What do I even say?"

"Just be honest."

I wasn't one to be giving advice, but this was a serious matter. If she were going to explore this new option Kira at least needed to know what was going on. I'm sure she wouldn't mind as they didn't have any specific labels or anything. It would be a lot easier than my problems, that's for sure. The people she had to deal with were so much more understanding than the ones I dealt with. How lucky was she?

On the flip side, the girls finished up their shopping as we made our way to grab some lunch. It was nice hanging out with them today. We haven't done much since being here, but it's never dulled with them around. I know for certain this was only the beginning of our shenanigans. We were only going into week 3 after all.

*****

Later that evening, I found myself back at Jays lounging around his living room. He surprisingly wasn't there when I got back, making me curious as to where he went. I hadn't forgotten what Kameron told me and if he was with her my blood was going to boil! I shouldn't be upset about it, but my mind couldn't help but wonder. Was he willingly entertaining her behavior?

After an hour had passed I heard the door open and close as footsteps made their way into the living room. I didn't want to seem too eager, but my head popped itself up looking at a smiling Jay in the eyes. He seemed to be his normal happy self. A little too happy if you ask me. Was this Kameron’s doing? He's never this smiley when he's with me. Maybe I'm reading too deeply into this.

Not showing any signs of being upset, I waved to him as he came to sit next to me. My mind was racing a thousand miles a minute with my leg shaking violently. Trying to suppress my thoughts was hard after the conversation I've had with Kameron. This was a mental game she was playing and it was hard to ignore it. Or I was just too childish to let things go. If Jay did want anything to do with her, he would have told me. So why do I keep feeling this way?

Noticing my leg shaking, Jay placed his hand on it stopping me in the process. "Autumn, what's wrong?"

I smile. "Oh, nothing how was your day?" I tried to change the subject. I didn't want this to turn into an argument.

Jay is no idiot though as he squeezed my leg softly looking for answers. "Don't lie to me, gorgeous." He saw right through me.

Sighing, I leaned my head back against the couch in frustration with myself. "Jay, I don't want to talk about this," I say.

He laughed, not willing to let me just forget about it. "We all have to talk about things we don't want to that's life."

"Can it not be life for like a minute?" I ask desperately.

He chuckled. "Nope, now what's wrong?"

Bless his big caring heart, but I didn't want to talk about this. It was embarrassing and foolish. He's already told me twice that he wasn't interested in Kameron. Yet I keep letting her get into my head. I couldn't describe what I was feeling without there being cause for an argument. I'm sure he would tire of me being so paranoid and insecure. It was impossible to feel anything but with Kameron around. Especially when she told me exactly what her plans were.

Still, I decided it would be best to talk to him. If anything, he would listen to me and hear what I was saying without judgment. Instead of coming off as overly jealous, I was just going to share with him how I felt. Maybe he'd be able to explain it to me better than I've been able to. I wouldn't mention anything about what Kameron said because it wasn't worth the drama. Plus, I didn't want to talk about her anyway.

Crossing my arms, I look down into my lap thinking about everything. "Jason, I'm having a hard time understanding this feeling that I'm feeling."

Sensing my seriousness, he turned his body more towards me listening. "What do you mean?"

"I have this huge jealousy problem every time I so as hear you doing anything with Kameron. I guess because I feel guilty for seeing Cyrus again. Or maybe I'm just afraid to lose you." I explained to him. "I've never felt like this toward anyone before and yet I can't seem to get it to go away regardless of what you tell me. Is that a bad thing?"

Jay laughed rubbing his thumb against my cheek. "Are you kidding? It's not bad at all it's only natural to feel that way about someone you love." It made me happy he wasn't upset with me. "All that does is tell me how much you love and care about me."

Of course, this wouldn't faze him. Jay was more understanding of things. I'm sure he knew exactly how I felt because it's how he felt last year. Though one of us has done more maturing over the year than the other. Jason has become my rock and I'm not sure I would have even got through this whole ordeal without him. Confessing my feelings for him has done more good than bad for our relationship.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to be all sad like," I apologize.

"Shut up, you don't need to apologize you crazy girl." He said kissing the top of my head. "Your feelings are valid I've felt that way a time or two myself. I still feel that way sometimes."

That shocked me. "So then why did you agree to let me see Cyrus?" I questioned.

He sighed running his fingers through his curly hair. "Because that's how much I love you. I don't care if you're seeing him or not. That's your business and yours alone so long as I have you as I've stated."

I smile softly resting my head on his shoulder. "I don't deserve you," I say feeling giddy inside.

Jay chuckled. "You deserve better than me, but now I'm not going anywhere." He teased. "Which reminds me, you aren't doing anything tomorrow night right?"

Looking up at him, I wondered what he had running through his mind. "Um, I shouldn't be no."

He stood up stretching out. "Good, you're in for a special treat!"