Book 2: Chapter 15

***Chapter 15***

The next night, Jay and I were preparing to go over to his parents for dinner. I was excited to see his stepmom and siblings, but his dad not so much. I've been nervous about this the entire day while Jay was calmer than usual. When Clara brought this up to us the first time, he didn't seem happy about it. However, now that it was happening his demeanor changed. Not that we should cancel, but I'm unsure if we're ready to be doing something family oriented. We still weren't dating, but Clara sure seemed to feel otherwise.

Stressing out, Jay came back into his room with a bag in his hands. I had yet to go take a shower and I only had about two more hours to get ready. There wasn't even anything for me to wear to this dinner. I couldn't go dressed basically and it would be nice to leave a good impression on his parents. Why did everything have to be a nuisance?

Jay chuckled at me. "You still didn't go shower, A?" He questioned sitting down.

I pout getting frustrated with myself. "I'm going, I'm going, I just got nervous," I admit to him. "What am I supposed to even wear?"

Jay smirked pulling something out of the bag. My eyes widen at the gorgeous red dress. It was laced up on top and velvety at the bottom. It looked to be just my size as well, making me all the more excited. Jay always knew the answers to my prayers, and he came through with this dress. That was one less thing to stress about, that's for sure.

"How did you even know my size?" I ask, admiring the dress still.

"It's not that hard to guess, you're very tiny," he said before telling how he actually got it. "And I looked at the size of one of your other dresses in your bag."

I laughed while nudging him lightly. "Well, thank you I appreciate you," I smile softly.

Jay smiled back at me, warming my heart. That cute face stared back at me with his enchanting eyes. It was a simple dress but coming from Jay made it feel special. It might have been a ridiculous feeling, but it's true. Anything from Jay felt special to me and would always be treasured. It wasn't clear how this night would go, but at least this is a good start.

I quickly hopped in the shower as time was ticking. Afterward, I did my makeup to the best of my ability and curled my hair the way Bradyn taught me. It didn't come out completely right, but Jay didn't seem to think so. When I came out of the bathroom, he was staring at me like he's never seen me dressed up before. He had me thinking it was too much with the blank look he was giving me. I didn't want to over-dress for the occasion, but it was hard not to with the dress he picked out.

He looked good himself picking out an outfit to match my dress. He wore a red button-up with black slacks and beautifully polished suede shoes. Jay worked on his body as I stated before because that shirt was showing off exactly how hard he worked. My mouth was watering staring at the man before me. God, he made it difficult for me not to latch onto him as I so desperately wanted to.

"Ready to go?" He asked me. Damn, not even a compliment?

I nodded, grabbing a jacket. We were running a bit behind. "Yeah, come on."

We headed outside to his car, thank goodness. The ride felt like it took forever with-it being silence between us. Neither one of us would speak or even look in the others direction. Tonight, there was this strange feeling lingering between the two of us. I couldn't tell if that were a good thing or if this was the start of our demise. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised as we pulled up to his parent's house.

From what I remember, this was their old family vacation home where his dad ran off after everything. It looked lovely inside and for sure was when we walked in. It paralleled the other house leaving to think his bio mom decorated everything. She sure did have immaculate taste and it made me like Clara more as she didn't change anything. She was a saint.

"I'm so glad you guys are here," Clara greeted us at the door. "Sadly, it's going to be another hour until dinner is ready and we still need to get dressed. You guys can wait in the family room until then if you don't mind."

I smile agreeing. "Of course not. It's not a problem." I say while hugging her. She smelled heavenly.

"Great, I'll be right with you guys!"

With that, Jay led me to the where the family room was still not talking to me. There was light music playing in the background. I sat down on the sofa crossing my legs. Jay was looking around at the picture laid around the fireplace. There was a lot of open space in front of us and I wasn't expecting him to ask me this, but I guess the music got to him. Though dancing with him was never a problem for me.

"Hmm, I believe someone owes me a dance since last week I didn't get one," he said sticking his hand out to me.

I smirked, not hesitating to grab it. His hand squeezed mine while his other rested in the middle of my back. It felt like the first time I'd been this close to him in such a long time. The warmth coursing through my body along with the tingles in my fingertips drove me mad. Even doing something like dancing in his parents’ living room would be something I'd cherish. I loved doing anything with him anywhere.

Laughing, I followed his lead never dropping my gaze from his smiling face. "What made you want to dance?" I asked, curious to know why he thought this up.

We continued to sway back and forth as he responded to me. "Well, I do believe you danced with Cyrus. So I felt like I should have one too." Hmm, sounds like that bothered him.

"Did it make you jealous," I teased him.

He chuckled. "The same way me talking to Kameron made you feel some type of way." He rebutted.

"I wasn't jealous, I just don't trust her." I denied it even though I knew I felt that way. "You mean so much to me, Jay."

This probably wasn't the right time to start getting mushy, but I had to at least explain why I was feeling those feelings. I know I haven't been upfront about it with him, but it was true. He didn't understand how much he meant to me. How much I wanted to protect him. Protect us. Kameron getting in the way of our progress scared me. I didn't want to lose him, but at the same time, I wasn't doing very much to keep him. There's also still Cyrus who I had to worry about and that was another dumpster fire. It was time to stop playing games and tell him where my head was at.

Spinning me around, he pulled me into him facing the other way. I couldn't see his face or how he was reacting to my words since he wouldn't let me. The tone of his voice told me this has been weighing on him as much as it has been weighing on me. Now was our chance to fix our issues and truly get back to us. A better version of us.

"Autumn, I'll be honest, it doesn't feel like it." He whispered, crushing my heart. "I don't always know where we stand or what you want from me."

Biting the inside of my cheek, I refrained from looking at him feeling bad that he thinks I don't care. "Jay, you know things are complicated," I argued. "And you're the one who friend-zoned me, not the other way around."

"I did that to be accommodating because you clearly can't decipher your feelings for me," he countered again. "Do you know how fucking hard it is to keep things pg. with the love of your life right in front of you? 'Cuz it's pretty fucking hard, even now."

"That still doesn't mean you don't mean as much to me as I say you do."

The air around us thickened as I turned myself around to face him. My hands made their way around his neck with one of them resting on his cheek. Our foreheads touched as our eyes were closed while his hands squeezed at the middle of my back, pulling me as close as he could. Our lips were inches apart and all I wanted to do was kiss him. Let the fireworks explode in my body. However, I tried to explain to him what I felt without saying it clearly.

"Jay, do you know I never stopped thinking about you when you left me? Do you know how devastated I was reading your note?" I asked him, caressing my thumb against his chiseled jawline.

He chuckled giving me soft squeezes every now and again. "If it was anything like I felt then I can only imagine." His voice was soft and gentle.

I giggled this time. "Exactly, you are someone I can't imagine my life without. I told you I was never going to leave you and I don't plan on that changing anytime soon."

Jay sighed, still not satisfied with my answer. "So, why can't you say you love me? Just say it, I know you do."

I did love Jay. I loved him so much in, but I was afraid to say it out loud. It felt like saying it would bring us to a place we don't want to be in. At least not right now. If I said it, I knew that this moment would turn heated and I'm sure we both didn't want to get caught fucking in his parent's house. That would be awkward as hell, and we weren't that far off from ripping each other's clothes off. It just wasn't a good time though he knew I did so why did he want to me say it so badly?

But I decided to have a little fun with him to get in a more light-hearted mood. "The same reason you won't kiss me," I say opening my eyes.

That got his interest as his bright blue eyeballs looked back at me in a taunting way. "Oh, I'll fucking kiss you alright," he said waiting to pounce.

"I dare you," I kept egging him on, but of course, before we could get to that we were interrupted.

"Uhh, hey guys we're ready," Clara said with a smile on her face seeing us interact. How much of that conversation did she overhear? Better yet how long was she standing there?

Nevertheless, Jay untangled himself from me leaving me feeling empty inside. Though, he didn't leave me completely empty. His hand grabbed mine pulling me back into him before planting a kiss on my cheek. It made my face turn red as Clara was still standing there watching us like a hawk.

"See, I told you I'd kiss you," Jay winked making me laugh again.

"Hey, that doesn't count it was on the cheek!"

"What I'd give to me young and helplessly in love again," Clara said as we made our to the dining room.

I guess we were in love huh?