Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Although winning was nice, it was not as fun as I would have liked it to be. Right now, I should be having fun with Twila and Bradyn. We'd be celebrating and enjoying each other's company. Instead, Twila was doing something with Bradyn who wanted nothing to do with me. It was so lonely. Having to split time between us was more than likely draining to Twila as well. But there wasn't anything I could do about it as of now. She wanted nothing to do with me and I was going to give her space.

For now, I decided to take my chances and go to Cyrus' room. I'm not sure if he would be in there but what did I have to lose at this point? There wasn't anything else for me to do and I did miss him. We haven't had proper alone time in a while since things have been happening with both of us. Today was the perfect time to get back to our old habits.

Knocking on the door, I waited to see if there would be an answer. I also wish he would hurry up just in case his mom walked through. That would cause more problems I did not need right now. All I wanted was a hug from Cyrus.

A couple of minutes went by, and the door opened to Cyrus, grabbing me, and dragging me inside. Thankfully, he was in there and Farah didn't see me standing at his door. Quickly, I wrapped my arms around him, catching him by surprise. However, that didn't stop him from embracing me back the way that he does.

"Someone's excited to see me." He smirked, kissing the top of my head.

I looked up at him faintly smiling. "You have no idea." I say trying to forget everything that's been going on.

"Good thing you've come. I was thinking of visiting Jay." He said, hoping I would come with him.

Of course, I agreed. Anything was better than staying here alone all day. Besides, I would like to see Jay too. He was down badly when I saw him last. Hopefully, he was in a better mind set and feeling better mentally. He was upset with me before for saying anything to Cyrus, but I know in the end he was glad I did. Besides, our friendship was going to grow from this, and I could already tell that Jay was a good friend to have around.

Cyrus and had to sneak out without anyone seeing us before we got in his car, and he drove off. Before seeing Jay, we stopped to grab a couple of drinks for our ride. My mind was still thinking about what to do with Bradyn. She wouldn't want to listen to my reasoning, but I needed her to know I wasn't trying to hurt her. If I could go back in time to change things I would. Our friendship meant a lot to me and the fact that we weren't talking made me feel distraught.

Cyrus noticed something was wrong, placing his hand on my thigh. Even the slightest of touches sent chills throughout my body.

"What's going on, Autumn? You seem stressed." He asked me, making small glances at me.

I kept my eyes looking out the window. "Bradyn hates me." I say in the softest of tones. "I told her...about us."

He removed his hand from my thigh with this stern look on his face. "Are you just telling everyone about this?" He asked me, sounding a bit annoyed.

"What? No." I'm not sure where this was coming from.

"Well Jenna magically found out, then you told Twila, and now Bradyn. What's your game here?"

Listening to him questions me like this got me off guard. I'm not sure what he was getting at. What am I supposed to say to this? It wasn't like I was willingly going around telling people about what's been happening between us. Jenna found out on her own, I couldn't hide anything from Twila, and Bradyn gave me an ultimatum. There wasn't much I could do in this situation other than tell the truth. Was he accusing me of spilling our secret on purpose?

I looked at him confused about what he was talking about. "What are you getting at, Cyrus?" My voice raised.

He shrugged keeping his eyes on the road. "I'm not sure. It seems odd that now three different people that we're having a secret fling." He expressed. "It was supposed to be kept secret."

"You don't think I know that? If it weren't for the fact that I was losing one of my best friends, I wouldn't have said anything." I was angry. "This was your idea remember that."

"And you agreed to it, remember that." He fired back at me.

We fell silent as he continued to drive. There wasn't anything to say as of now without there being more arguing. He was blaming me for something I wasn't intentionally doing. Unfortunately for him, I liked to keep my friends for once in my life. If I had to tell them everything, we've done I would. In the end friends shouldn't keep secrets from each other. That's what I was doing and that's what cost me my friendship with Bradyn. He had no reason to be mad whatsoever.

The ride continued with neither of us saying a word to each other. When he parked the car, we waited for a minute before we got out. I wasn't sure what exactly he wanted me to say to him. I wasn't going around telling people this for fun. There was no game to any of this. The fact that he was trying to accuse me of shit like this was bullshit. It made me not even want to continue with his bullshit.

Sighing, I unbuckled my seat beat crossing my arms. "What was I supposed to do?" I asked him for his opinion.

He shook his head not looking at me. "I don't know, Autumn, keep your mouth closed maybe." He spoke with annoyance in his tone.

I rolled my eyes. "How could I? Did you forget this is a competition and some of them might have feelings for you as well?" I asked him. "Also, our friendship was on the line. I couldn't just let her walk away." I was distressed.

"Ok and where is she now? It seems to me no matter what you did she was going to decide not to talk to you either way." He argued looking at me this time.

My blood was boiling. "What's your point?" I continue to question him.

"My point is you could've kept your fucking mouth closed and she still wouldn't have talked to you. If she can't accept that you couldn't tell her something important at that moment, then she's obviously not your friend!" He raised his voice. "You know what we're doing is risky and yet you still go around running your mouth."

In this moment, I just wanted to cry. I went to Cyrus to forget everything for a little while. To have an enjoyable time and see Jay. Yet here we were arguing with each other like that was making anything better. This whole thing between us wasn't working and I couldn't keep hiding things from my friends because he wanted me to. Nothing between was even set in stone and somehow, he was still mad. We both knew the consequences of us sneaking around. Unlike him, I trust my friends enough not to go around telling people what I've told them. Jenna, not so much but neither of us had control over her finding out. Everything was a mess.

"So then that's it?" I asked a tear rolling down my cheek.

He looked at me confused. "What?"

"So, we're going to stop seeing each other now, right? I can't keep my mouth closed so why keep doing this?"

Now I was talking off emotions. I know I didn't mean anything I was saying but I was annoyed and hurt by all things going on right now. This wasn't how things were supposed to be today. After having such an amazing time at the photoshoot, I thought we would be perfect. Like we always were. Arguing with him made me feel disgusted. Especially because I knew this was happening because of me. We haven't had an argument since NorthPort and this one was just as bad.

"You've got to be kidding me right now." He was over the whole thing, but I kept going.

I shake my head. "No, I'm not kidding Cyrus. Clearly this is all too much for you so let's end it here. At least you won't completely hate me if we do it now."

He chuckled in the most scarcastic of ways. "Autumn, I'm not doing this with you right now. When you want to have an adult conversation, I'll be attentive." He said opening the car door. "Right now, we're here to see Jay and that's what we're going to do."

I wasn't in the mood for this but Jay was the most important thing right now. Aside from my differences with Cyrus, I was going to make sure it wasn't awkward for Jay. Besides, I wasn't ready to have a conversation with him. At least, I wasn't in the right state of mind. There were too many emotions involved and pushing him away wasn't the answer. He was the only person who could help me. Though it was evident I wasn't mature enough for him. He was twenty-four, soon to be twenty-five. Here I am a twenty-two-year-old girl barely experienced in adulthood trying to play like I knew it all. When in fact I didn't.

Regardless, I pulled myself together getting out of the car. I wiped my face dry of tears as we walked over to the door to see our beloved Jay. The tension between us was so thick it was impossible not to notice something was going on with us. For our sake, I hope Jay is oblivious to these things and won't question us. We were going to have a fun time and that's all that should matter, right?

For Jay.

***

Side bar I noticed I kind of messed up some things and compared to my notes things in this book are a little wonky. I'll have to back and edit but if I never mentioned it before Cyrus is twenty-four and, in my notes, it says he has brown eyes but from an earlier chapter he has blue. Once I go back and edit, they'll be blue and for future chapters to come. Please keep those little things in mind and thank you so much for reading! Sorry for any confusion.