Chapter 62

Chapter 62

"I can't believe he would just leave like that," I said with so much hurt in my voice.

After our amazing day together, I woke up to a note left from Jay on the nightstand table. I'm assuming he left sometime between five and eight this morning because I woke up at nine. My heart was shattered reading what he said to me. He stated:

Hey, Autumn, I know you're going to hate me for this but it's time for me to go. It's sudden but I promise that this is for the best. I'll never forget the memories we've created together. The way we can relate to one another is so surreal. There are so many things I haven't got to tell you or even learned about you for that matter. I was too scared to say this last night, but...well, I think I love you... Take of that what you will but I mean it. Leaving you is the hardest thing I ever had to do and I hope we can meet again in the future.

Forever yours, Jay.

The way I felt my heartache was a pain I never wanted to feel again. He left without a proper goodbye or where he was going. Something told me things were running through his mind. The way he wanted to thank me so much was his way of saying just that. I wanted to take his word that nothing was happening but there was. He was leaving for good. Is this because he didn't know what Cyrus was going to do? Did he want to just hand me over and not fight for it? Not that I would have known what to do if it came to that but still. It felt like he willingly threw everything away without even consulting me.

Bradyn and Twila looked at the note with me as we sat in the kitchen waiting for this week's announcements. He went to them to tell them about our day but he hadn't told them he was leaving. It made me wonder if Cyrus even knew Jay was gone. Maybe he could tell me so I could go to him when this is over. At least to tell him how I feel.

Twila handed it back to me trying to make sense of it all. "Maybe he has good reason for this," she tries to explain.

"Yeah, I mean you are here for Cyrus, or did your feelings completely change?" Bradyn asked.

I shake my head still frustrated. "No, it's hard when they're both so different you know?" I try to explain my feelings. "Cyrus I get the sweet, relaxing, and a sense of settlement. Like I know what to expect from him. With Jay, I also get the sweetness but I don't know what to expect making it so much more thrilling."

Having two men who were completely in contrast to each other was hard to choose from. On one hand, I'll know what I'll be getting if I went with Cyrus. His family is very set on appearance and stability. There would be nothing I need to worry about ever. On the other hand, my life would be much more chaotic if I went the Jay route. His family, or lack thereof, doesn't seem to be as strict as the Hadid's. We would be free to do what we wanted when we wanted. Our life wouldn't be as stable but still worthwhile.

"He said until you meet again. Maybe that's code for he'll be back." Twila tried to make light of the situation.

I smiled half-heartedly wanting to drop the conversation as Jenna and her crew walked in. Jenna already knew too much and hearing this would be the icing on the cake. We didn't need her knowing anything else. Especially anything about Jay leaving. Her knowing about Cyrus is one thing but Jay is too much trouble than it's worth at the moment. Now that he's gone my choice was clear. I had to not screw this up any further than I already did. However, Jay would always be on my mind.

A few minutes later, Farah walked in gleaming like she always did. Jeremy was right behind her holding her morning cup of coffee. There was no telling what her news was going to be this week. It was the last time we would hear anything from her in the mornings. If we liked each other I'd almost miss it but sadly that was only a fever dream.

"Hi ladies, I'm saddened to say that this will be our last week meeting," she sipped her coffee. "That being said, I have a surprise for each of you. I think you'll love it." She smiled happily before turning her attention to Jeremy.

Jeremy walked out of the room as we waited patiently to see what she was bringing us. I don't believe there was any mention of a surprise happening this week, but anything is good after the turmoil these past eight weeks were. Not everything was bad, but there was enough to last me a lifetime of memories.

That being said, I wasn't ready for what Farah did but as soon as I saw her, I instantly wanted to cry. There were no words to describe how much I missed her beautiful face. It's felt like ages since I've last talked to her. Getting to see her here made everything else null and void. Although I wish my sister tagged along, my mom was just enough to get me through this week.

"Say hello, to your mothers' darlings," Farah said happily.

Without any more introduction, I rushed to hug my mom tightly not letting go. That seemed to be all the girl's reactions to seeing their moms as well. It was just us for the last eight weeks. Seeing a familiar face was refreshing. This solidified that the competition was soon to be over and the decision was coming close. That didn't matter as I had my mom here embracing me like she's never hugged me before.

Farah gave us time to hug and say hello before speaking again. "Ok ladies, take the time to talk to your moms maybe show them around," she suggested. "Moms, once you're done come find me and I'll show you where you all will be sleeping."

Taking her advice, I didn't hesitate to show my mom around the house. It was huge and up her alley, that's for sure. The best part was showing her the backyard with the fountain. She seemed to really like that and wanted to sit there and chat. That's where I had a lot of chats that weren't so pleasant. Not that we had any animosity.

We sat down next to each other enjoying the sounds of the fountain.

"So, honey, did you enjoy yourself here?" She asked me excited to hear more.

I shrugged not wanting to sound like a jerk. "It is what it was. I'm honestly glad it's almost over," I was honest.

Her hand pinched my cheek with a sigh. "Aww, honey did you at least get acquainted with Cyrus?" That was all she was worried about.

"Well, let's just say we got more than just acquainted..." I trailed off playing with my fingers.

That shocked her and made her want to hear more. That was something I wanted to avoid but not talking about it wasn't going to make me feel better. I wasn't confident that my mom wouldn't judge me. The things I was going to tell her were things she wouldn't have expected me of. Until she sees both of them, she wouldn't understand what I was truly going through. Especially when it came to Jay.

"What's more than acquainted?" She asked with hopeful eyes.

I sighed not looking at her. "It's possible that I'm winning this thing," I said much to her excitement. "But, there's someone else."

She looked at me confused. "What do you mean there's someone else?"

Now I was nervous. "Don't be upset but that someone else happens to be his best friend."

I'm not sure what reaction I was expecting out of my mom. Usually she wouldn't judge me but this was different. We were talking about having such strong feelings for two best friends. Cyrus was in the dark about the whole thing while Jay knew about Cyrus and me. Now that Jay disappeared all that was left to focus on was Cyrus. However, that didn't mean my feelings for Jay would change. What if he comes back? What do I do then?

My mom was shocked to hear this and tried to be understanding. I don't think anyone would know what to say in this situation. Falling for Cyrus was to be expected but Jay was out of left field.

"Wha-what? How did this happen?" She asked me wanting to hear the whole story.

I shrugged trying to make sense of it all. "It just happened," I said still processing everything. "We started spending time together and found that we relate to one another. With our similar situations it sort of fell into place on it's own."

That made my mom smile as she grabbed my hand. "Sounds exactly like what happened with your father and I," She spoke fondly. "Sometimes things like that happen and I want you to know that whatever you choose I'll be here to support you."

It was nice hearing her say that but there was no more choices to be made. "Jay made that decision for me actually," I say with hurt in my voice. "He left this morning and I don't even know if he'll be returning any time soon."

The hurt I felt was lingering on. Now that he's gone I realized I'll miss him so much. We won't get to spend more time together. He won't get to help with my amazing cakes anymore. Although he did the bare minium just having him there made me more confident. I feel worse knowing that I couldn't tell him how I felt. Then having to read him say he loves me is even more complicated. I wish he would have told me last night.

However, there was no time to waste on it now. What's done and is done . If he ever decides to come back then I would be here. A little jaded but still here. My hope is that he gets himself figured out and explains to me why he left. Until then, I was happy to have my focus on one person again. Trying to split time between the two was draining. Knowing Cyrus was mine for sure was more comforting than I wanted it to be, but made me happy nonetheless.

"If he really likes you, he'll be back," she said confidently. "I'm sure there's reasons why he left and in time you'll know. For now, you can at least be happy you still have one of them." She nudged me.

I laughed agreeing with her statement. "Yeah, I guess so."

My mom hugged me as I continued to show her around the place. After a while she got tired especially after all the traveling she had to do to get here. She decided to take a nap which was fine by me. I, on the other hand, had some planning to do and a man to see.