Book 2: Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

Giving Cyrus space seemed like the smart thing to do. I'm not one to do smart things. The very next night, I found myself desperately knocking on his door to get him to talk to me. He's been locked in his room ever since yesterday. The way he cried killed every fiber in my body. The hurt I caused him was dramatic. It only made it worse when I wouldn't break things off with Jay. That was when his heart truly broke.

I couldn't let it end like that. As much as it would be best to let him be alone, the urgency to talk to him wouldn't let up. There wasn't much else I could say that would make this better. Everything that happened is true. What Jay feels for me...what I feel for him is also true. Romance is such a complimented ordeal. We as humans are a lot more complex than we tend to let on. I hope that Cyrus could see that and maybe understand where I'm coming from. It's not guaranteed that he will but worth a shot either way.

Calmly, I stood outside his door knocking every two seconds for him to let me in. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how sad my voice sounded, Cyrus was not budging. He did say he would never forgive me if he found out any of that to be true. Part of me didn't expect him to keep true to that promise. Our love was so much stronger than that. Something had to get him to jump.

Sadly, that moment never comes as I slide down against his door. Sitting on the floor, I sigh in frustration, speaking out loud hoping that he hears me. This was my last resort to at least apologize.

"Cyrus, I know you're in there," I speak loudly. "And I know you're never going to talk to me again but if I were able to go back and change things I would. Despite my relationship with Jay, you have to know that I love you. The only reason I agreed to be a bridesmaid was the thought of seeing you."

Even his mom knew the only reason I'd come here was because we would see each other. The worst fear of hers was us reconnecting. She couldn't have been any happier that our relationship ended. Farah didn't want us to be together from the beginning. Now she was overjoyed at the fact that Cyrus wanted nothing to do with me. However, she was still going to keep me at the wedding. Including Jay! The last thing we needed was her getting any satisfaction out of this. At least we were able to tell him ourselves.

He still didn't attempt to open the door. Cyrus was done with me and there didn't seem to be anything I could do about it. It's official, he hated me. I never thought this day would come when Cyrus would want to forget us. Everything in our past seemed like it was going to stay there. My heart was not okay.

Standing back up, I was going to make another attempt at knocking on the door but was interrupted. It was nice to see him and unexpected. I haven't exactly talked to anyone since yesterday. The wedding party seemed to be divided over the situation that occurred making it difficult to navigate who I could speak with or not. Ashton was someone I could talk to.

"How long have you been knocking?" He questioned.

I shrugged. "Maybe about an hour," I say although that sounded horrible out loud.

Ashton chuckled with a shake of his head. "You're desperate to speak with him huh?" That smile couldn't be hidden.

My arms go up. "What do you think?" I shouldn't have been sarcastic at this moment but he asked a stupid question.

"Alright, alright I get it." He spoke walking closer. "You screwed up big time if he's not even willing to open the door."

That was something I already knew and his comments on the matter weren't helping. Cyrus would probably never talk to me again but there wasn't any reason for me not to hold out hope. Our relationship may not ever be the same again but I'm optimistic he'll at least speak with me. If we talked alone without others around my point would get across better. If he let his anger consume him though that might be a challenge. Still, Cyrus will speak to me before their wedding day. I just know he will.

Ashton is right in the sense that I screwed up, however. Jay and I knew the consequences and neither of us regretted our actions. We simply had a love that no one could ever come between. No matter who they were. Unfortunately, that meant sacrificing both of our relationships with Cyrus. The guy who introduced us in the first place. I bet he was regretting his choice for me to help him with Jay now.

Sighing, I cross my arms in front of my chest with sadness in my eyes. "Maybe, but I can't help who I have feelings for and who I don't," I argue.

"Believe me, I get it." He says to my shock. "Everyone's pretty divided right now but I'm on your side."

My eyes widened. "You...you're on my side?" I say with surprise.

Ashton nods. "Of course, love is complicated," he smiles. "And after spending so much time with you and Jay, I can tell he truly does love you despite what Cyrus may think. It's the happiest I've ever seen Jay."

It's nice to have someone in our corner. I know the girls are always supportive of me so there was no worry there. My main concern was Jay not having any friends anymore. I thought the guys would seem more inclined to side with Cyrus just because. Though there is division, at least someone was willing to be there for Jay still. He did just lose his best friend after all.

I smile softly at Ashton. "You're still friends with Jay?" I asked him.

"Ironically, Jay was my friend first." He admits. "I'm the one that introduced these two and got kicked to the curb," he chuckles nervously.

I laugh with him. "But isn't Cyrus your cousin?"

He nods. "Yeah he is but we were never as close as one would have liked."

That shocked me as well. "Are you sure? Farah seems to take family pretty seriously."

"Farah, not Cairo." He argues.

It was always a mystery how Jay and Cyrus's friendship started. I assumed it was because their families were connected and that was part of it but Ashton being the one to introduce them made sense. Ever since we've been here, Jay has invited Ashton to almost everything. At every hangout we've had Ashton was invited. Jay even invited him when we went searching for houses. I'm not sure how I never put the pieces together, but those two were closer than I realized.

My heart warmed knowing that someone would still be in Jay's corner. After everything he's been through, he deserved someone other than me to back him up. I'm the reason he lost his best friend in the first place. None of it would be happening if we were able to ignore the tension that built between us previously. It was only a matter of time before we made the move on one another. And to think I was trying to set him up with Bradyn.

Sighing, Ashton walked over to give me a consoling hug. "The group may not be the same for a while but just know I'm here for you and Jay." He says letting me go.

I smile, appreciative of his gesture. "Thank you, Ashton," I say happily. "Is there any chance Cyrus will ever listen to me you think?" I couldn't help but ask.

Ashton didn't have an answer for me though. "It's hard to say but let me ask you this...do you love Jay?"

That was a dumb question. "Of course I do," I say.

"Then love him and I mean love him hard. He's been through so much and finally found someone to alleviate that pain." He explained. "Whether Cyrus hears you out or not, remember who didn't turn away from you all while knowing the truth."

Ashton's words rang true. Jay knew of my relationship with Cyrus. He knew how I felt about him and even encouraged me to fix things with him. Despite him loving me as well, he never deterred me from mending my relationship with Cyrus. He was always there through everything. Whether that be through guilt or him just being more open, Jay never left my side. Even with his troubles going on, he's been my rock.

Cyrus has good reasons to ignore me. I've kept a secret from him for so long. The way he found out about it didn't help the situation either. Had I just been honest from the beginning maybe it could've turned out differently. In another world, I'd be honest about what was going on with Jay. We'd have a conversation as adults instead of hiding from one another. The pain would still be there, but at least it wouldn't have been so deep. There's nothing to excuse my behavior and I take full responsibility for my actions. However, Ashton is right and I needed to focus on loving Jay as hard as I could.

Placing my hand on Cyrus's door. My eyes closed as I knew he was on the other side of it. Pleading for him to open up would do me no good. Letting him cool off was the best option at the moment. Tomorrow's the luncheon that I've been uninvited to. The most I could do is let him know that I love him. Regardless of the mess we're in; there was a place in my heart that only he could fill. So much so that I intended to keep it warm for him. We were in a rough spot right now but there was no doubt in my mind that he'd come around to talk to me.

Biting my lip, I remove my hand before saying one last thing to him. "Goodbye, Cyrus."