Book 2: Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

As the doctor said, I was released the next day afraid to face my reality. I would go to the Hadid house like my mom said, but not right after. We first stopped at Jay's because I needed to shower. Not only shower but gather my bearings. Everyone was waiting for Jay and me to show up so they could see me. The girls have been blowing up my phone left and right. Then there was Cyrus who left text message after text message. Just seeing his name on the screen made me want to puke.

Getting dressed, I lingered on Jay's bed for a bit. My head was swirling with negative thoughts about how this was going to go down. It was going to be bad but how bad could it get? There was no getting around Cyrus being angry. This was his best friend sleeping with someone he wanted to. The Kameron situation all over again but to a whole new extreme. Jay turned her down but with me...he fell in love. That was sure to peeve Cyrus.

My mind was stressed out but Jay seemed as cool as a cucumber. He could have been putting on a face for me. This has got to be just as hard for him as it was for me. This was his best friend we're talking about. It had to be worrisome that he may no longer be there for him anymore. All the things they've been through together, all the love they shared. The tree that they carved their names into. It was all going to be dead. I couldn't believe it was going to end because I couldn't love one person. I just had to love them both.

Sitting down next to me, Jay looked at me as if to say it's time to go. "We can't stay here forever, gorgeous," he said handing over the reins to me.

I sighed. "I know I'm just nervous, Jay." I was always confiding in him. "He's going to hate me."

Jay shook his head at me. "Not as much as he'll hate me," he shrugs. "But, I know you love him too."

My head nods. "You're not upset about that?" I wondered.

He chuckled, caressing my cheek. "Never. I know how you feel about me." He kissed my cheek. "Now, I think it's time we head over there. Everyone's waiting."

Everyone was waiting and I couldn't hide out in Jay's house forever. I'm going to regret getting up out of my seat in the long run, but it was now or never. The only thing I could hope for is Jenna not being there. She would only make the situation worse. Knowing that she's finally going to get her way would drive me mad. It's not like I can go back and fix everything. I don't want to either. A world without Jay is a world I can't live in.

Regardless, we hopped in Jay's car taking over to the Hadid home. The whole way there I was on edge. How does one word something like this to someone without them getting mad? I can't just come out and be like *yeah I'm fine but I got pregnant by your best friend and it resulted in a miscarriage*. That was sure to go over very well. Introducing the topic was going to be bad enough. Doing it in front of everyone was an instant death. All I can do is hope a big scene isn't caused by this.

Jay pulled into their lot and my heart rate picked up rapidly. Just staring at the house drove me to madness. My leg started shaking violently afraid to step foot out of the car. Was it too late to turn back now? We could deal with this some other time. My mom would understand if I came tomorrow instead. Walking through that door would bring me face to face with Cyrus and I'm scared that I would just crumble.

Noticing my demeanor, Jay grabbed my hand to reassure me. There wasn't much he could say besides that he'd be there for me. We are both about to walk into a shit show and have to eat it. We were in this together until the very end. Choices have been made and now it was time to live with them. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how much I cried, this needed to happen.

Taking a deep breath, I give Jay one last look before we head inside. We walked back and as soon as I stepped on that porch, Twila rushed over to hug me. Bradyn and Kira weren't that far behind and I must admit, I was elated to see them. It's been so long since I've talked to them. Avoiding their messages, I eventually responded telling them I would be here today. Even Kameron looked happy to see me.

"Autumn you had us worried sick!" Twila yelled at me. "I never thought I'd be so happy to see someone's face again."

Bradyn squeezed her way in next with tears in her eyes. "You scared me when you weren't answering! What even happened?" She wondered.

"Yeah, you have a lot of explaining to do missy!" Kira yelled at me next but she hugged me afterwards.

Then one by one, every one of the groomsmen said hi to me expressing their concern. Even Sienna, whom I hadn't talked to in so long was worried. Jenna and Ocean kept their distance, but Ocean at least signaled a nod my way. Jenna didn't look like she cared at all. She looked pissed that this was all happening during her wedding event. Mainly because the spotlight wasn't on her at the moment. She would always be the same bitchy girl she always was. Nothing about that will change.

She was the least of my concerns though. Once everyone else was finished bombarding me with questions. There was one person who had yet to say anything to me. Everyone else settled down and like clockwork, Cyrus looked over at me with relief washing over his face. I could tell he was worried. It was like he hadn't slept in days waiting for me to come over here. That only saddened me more as the news was not going to be good.

Stepping closer, it took him all of two seconds to reach me before I felt myself being engulfed in his embrace. The intensity of this hug was unmatched. I can feel everything he was feeling and more. The sigh he released while he was hugging me told me everything I needed to know. Despite the circumstances and all our disagreements about stuff, Cyrus loved me. Making this ordeal all the harder.

Untangling himself from me, his hands rested on my shoulders as he looked down. I turned my head to see Jay in the back leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He wasn't looking at us. He looked completely dazed. Like he wasn't prepared for what was about to happen either. If he wasn't sure about this then how the hell could I be?

Looking back at Cyrus, I give him a soft smile. "Hey, Cy," I say ever so quietly.

His eyes are soft and he wears a small smile on his face. "You had me so scared, A." He said with a slight chuckle to his voice. "I'm just so glad you're okay."

I gulped. "Yeah...I—I'm fine." I stuttered.

That was the worst thing I could have possibly done. It showed him that something was wrong. That I was not fine and caused him to worry. It wasn't my intention to make him concerned but what else was about to come would be worse. Looking at his face made it more difficult to say anything about it. Everyone had questions as to why I was in the hospital. Although there were two reasons, the second reason was not something he wanted to know.

Cyrus furrowed his brows looking at me confused. "Wha—what's wrong?" He dropped his hands from my shoulders.

"And are you going to tell us what happened?" Ashton jumped in.

"We were all really worried about you A," Twila added.

It felt like there was so much pressure on me to answer one simple question. Everyone wanted to know what was wrong. They all were expecting answers from me that I was afraid to give. The eyes on me made it feel as if I were drowning. It also didn't help that Jenna was right here witnessing it all with her eyes boring into me. My heart pounded in my chest looking around at all of them. It felt like I was going to pass out from all the stares I was getting.

Thankfully, Jay walked over to me resting his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him with panic all over my face. Unlike him, it was hard for me to hide what I was feeling. His face was stoic and hard as a rock. Underneath that though, I could see that he cared about how I was feeling right now. One little look was enough to reassure me that this was the right thing to do. Even if it was in front of everyone around us. This needed to happen.

I did a quick look around before answering their question. "For starters, I was close to dehydration so there's that," I start by saying.

Cyrus sighed once more everyone else following his lead. "That's it? At least that was easy to take care of." He sounded happy about that.

I smile before getting serious again. "But...that's not all," I pause again.

"What do you mean that's not all?" Kameron asked.

There was no telling how everyone would react to this. I needed to say this now or forever hold my peace. I just hope they aren't as judgmental about like people can be.

Gulping, I come right out and say it. "I...I had a miscarriage."

Gasps filled the air around us as everyone was shocked by that news. It shocked me as well having gone through it. It was the most scary, gut-wrenching thing I've ever experienced. Although I wasn't ready to be a parent, the loss still greatly affected me. Couple that with this mess that was being created and I was in pain. This was one of the most horrific moments I ever experienced.

Cyrus's first reaction wasn't too bad. "Oh my god, A this is wonderful but sad news," he said hugging me. "I'm not ready for that anyway but..." and that's when it clicked for him.

He let me go, looking down at me with his eyes darkening. His face changed from excited to stoic in a matter of minutes. The Cyrus that I knew and loved was gone. This man...he was broken but didn't even know the full story yet. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a suspicion of who was behind this with me.

Everyone else looked happy but sad that I ended up miscarrying. Cyrus, on the other hand, took a step back keeping his attention focused on the ground.

"Autumn, we haven't done anything like that since that day and even then, nothing of that caliber was involved." His voice was dark.

The tears begin to fill my eyes as they slowly spill over. "I know," is all I said trying not to let my voice crack.

The tension built as everyone looked on confused. Cyrus's head lifted staring at my crying face. His eyes were watery as well but he held back his tears. The fire in his eyes was prominent and it was easy to see how angry he was. Not only was he angry, but he was hurt. A hurt that was caused by me. Something that a simple apology wouldn't fix. The one thing I told him I wouldn't do, I did.

"So, who was it?" He asked me with a stern tone.

The tears spilled out more rapidly as I tried to speak. "I...I..." there were no words that would come out of my mouth.

That only made him angrier. "Spit it out!" He yelled, his emotions were getting hard for him to control. "Whose fucking baby was it?!" He yelled once more.

The walls were closing in on me and I couldn't find the words to speak. All I could do was let my tears fall screaming inside to just say it! Say his name and this humiliation will all be over. It sounded simple and yet I couldn't do it. My mouth wouldn't form words and instead, my body rather listen to him yelling at me. It was easier than telling the truth.

However, leave it to Jay to be my knight in shining armor. He was always bailing me out when things got too tough. This was just as much his problem as it was mine. I didn't expect him to come to my aid though. With more questioning, I would have come out and said it. I guess Jay was more brave than me. He left the whole area gobsmacked.

Jay's voice lingered behind me, dropping the bomb of all bombs. "It was my baby."