Book 2: Chapter 29

***Chapter 29***

It was unlike me, but I couldn't contain myself. Later that day, I found myself bursting through Cyrus' door not caring who was there. Luckily for me, it was him alone laying back on his bed. The tv was on and he looked startled when his door opened. Once he realized it was me, his expression changed.

There were no plans for us to meet each other. I didn't exactly have a clue as to what I was doing, but my mind needed to relax. The best thing that could be thought of was to see Cyrus. Maybe he'll have a way to ease my mind. Sitting around moping wasn't going to do me any good. Besides, if Jay could do whatever he did then I could too!

Closing his door and making sure to lock it, Cyrus walked over to me caressing my cheek with his finger. "What are you doing here, A?"

I Stifled a sigh realizing that this might have been a mistake. What would it look like if I came here for one thing and one thing only? Last time I forbade that from happening. Now here I was looking for exactly that. In any case, this wasn't a healthy way to deal with my emotions. Jay would probably hate me when I tell him. We get into a fight and then I go sleep with his best friend. That surely would be music to his ears.

"I shouldn't be here this was so stupid!" I began to freak out.

Cyrus looked confused. "What? Why is it stupid?" The concern in his voice was strong.

Pacing, I went on a bit of a rant not realizing it until he stopped me. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore! There are so many things going in a direction I didn't want them to this time around. Not to mention we're still sneaking around and having talked to Jenna earlier I feel like an ass. I mean, what kind of girl gets in between someone else's relation-"

Cyrus hushed me, placing his finger on my lips. I was going on a tangent and if he hadn't stopped me who knows what else I would've said? That sure would have been an interesting way for him to find out about Jay and me. The stress was starting to weigh me down and having a small fight with Jay set me a little over the edge.

It didn't change the fact that I did talk to Jenna who seemed to be going through a tough time with this marriage stuff. Now here I was making things even more complicated for her. Cyrus didn't have any feelings for Jenna, but that didn't mean he should be sneaking around with me. He didn't call the wedding off, though I'm sure that has more to do with Farah than him.

Still, I'm happy Cyrus was the one I was ranting to because he always knew how to calm me down. "Autumn, relax first and foremost. Secondly, why did you really come here?"

My lips pursed as I calmed down. "Don't laugh at me, but at first I came here to use sex as a tool to get out of my funk." I was honest.

He looked at me and without missing a beat, burst into laughter. I guess it was pretty funny but quite embarrassing. Anybody would get a kick out of my crazy actions. It showed the difference in maturity between the three of us and yet, they still wanted every part of me. Well, I'm unsure where Jay's head was right now but I know he would do the same thing as Cyrus. They were both so great to me.

His laughing simmering down, he pulled me into him squeezing tightly. "You could have just come to talk to me. I'm always here to listen."

"I realize that now," I say still embarrassed by my thought process.

Cyrus got oddly quiet before speaking up again. "But umm, that can also still be arranged," his voice went soft.

Giggling, I looked up at him slowly shaking my head. "Maybe next time. I don't want to rush things."

He smiled understanding completely. "Then I believe I'm due for some cuddling." He suggested.

Laughing, we made our way onto his bed snuggling up to one another. It was nice being the one to surprise him this time. Usually, he was planning all our meet-ups and I just happened to pop up. This sort of thing shouldn't happen regularly, but it was fun nonetheless.

The movie he had on was not and my attention couldn't focus on that. Instead, I started asking him questions about Jenna. Talking to her and seeing her cry like that made me feel like garbage. I shouldn't be the one he was cuddling, it should be her. That was his fiancé and I was nothing. As she said, Cyrus still loves me and neither of us could control that.

Sitting up, I looked at him contemplating how to ask him these things. Maybe it was for my sanity to not feel as bad about us being sneaky. Or maybe I truly did feel for Jenna. She was always rude to me, but even if it weren't Jenna in this position I'd still feel bad. Like I'm ruining something that could be more than what it is. Essentially I'm a home wrecker.

Cyrus saw my face and immediately knew I was thinking of something. "You may as well just ask your question," he smiled with his ears ready to listen.

Sighing, I cross my arms waiting to hear what he has to say. "I'm trying to understand how after all this time you still feel nothing for Jenna," I say. "I saw her crying about it earlier today and just...I feel like I'm getting in the way."

He looked at me bewildered at what I just said. "She was crying?" He was confused. "Over me?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes over you because she loves you even longer than I have which is saying something."

"Wait, you still love me too?"

Realizing what I just said my face turned red. Here I was slightly advocating for Jenna whilst outing myself in the process. It's no secret that the love Cyrus and I share is unmatched, but he wasn't supposed to know that. Yet it felt easier to say it to him than Jay. What could it mean?

A nervous laugh escapes my lips as this was not supposed to happen. I didn't mean to say that, but it was out in the open now. There was no going back.

Not looking back at him, I fiddled with my fingers. "Well, was it secret? Why do you think I even came back here in the first place?"

"Thought you were just doing a favor," he says quietly.

"Pshh no offense but your mom is the last person I'd do a favor for," I say. "I truly only agreed because I knew I'd see you again."

He smiled to himself this time being the one to get nervous. Though he had nothing to be nervous about. This is what he wanted to know and unfortunately, I slipped up and told him. It may seem crazy to be in love with two people, but it is possible. Especially when those two people make you feel two different things. Only one of them is still wrapped up in this wedding bullshit.

Though he did say I would like the results; I highly doubt he would like the surprise he had coming. Even if he were to somehow get out of his relationship with Jenna, there's a possibility he won't even want to be with me after he finds out. Then if he does, what do I do then? Jay doesn't care if I see Cyrus but will Cyrus want me to break things off with Jay? It was so confusing but that's why these talks were important.

"In other words, you'll be willing to give us a chance again?" He queried.

I shrug smiling at him. "Mm, yeah I would," I happily respond. "But there's still a marriage and Jenna involved which means nothing can be serious until that's done."

His arms wrapped around me pulling me closer to him. "I have to still keep up appearances but I promise things will be fixed by the end."

"Let's just see how things go."

I hug him back as he kissed the top of my head. I wasn't sure how our ending would turn out, but I was holding out hope that we'd get it right this time. There was still the possibility everything will not be as peachy as I'm hoping. Regardless, as bad as I felt I couldn't control my feelings for Cyrus. My urgency for being near him. Jenna was right about what she said. Though she left out one key part. That is, I would always love Cyrus too.

I couldn't spend the whole night in his room as I had to get ready in the morning as well. Luckily, I was staying the night with the girls because of the mini argument with Jay. It was going to be a bit bittersweet seeing him tomorrow. It was nothing a little alcohol couldn't fix. Though, Jay wouldn't be drinking as much as everyone else. Still, it'll loosen me up that's for sure.

After a few hours, I say goodbye to Cyrus. We both agreed he would keep up appearances with Jenna until everything was sorted. Tomorrow I wouldn't expect him to be close to me, but we were still going to have fun!

Sneaking out of his room, I almost made a clean getaway until I bumped into someone. That someone being Farah of course. Thank goodness we weren't in front of Cyrus' room because she would have immediately clocked what I was up to. That didn't stop Farah from being suspicious though.

She looked at me confused and stunned at the same time. "What are you doing here? And so late." She crossed her arms.

"Uh, the girls asked me to stay over to get ready for the big day tomorrow," I sort of lied. "Yay, wine tasting." I was so bad at this. It didn't help that the woman scared me.

It didn't look like she was buying that. "Right. However, those rooms are on a lower level but you're up here. In our personal space." She remarked.

Shit. I didn't know what to do or say at this point, but I kept faking it until I made it. "That's because I like to do a big walk around the house. Ya know, gotta get those steps in." How does that even make sense?

Farah examined me like she knew I was bullshitting. The sweat dripping from my forehead was a key indicator that I was lying to get by. This was our first interaction one on one this entire time I've been here. Of course, it would be when I'm sneaking out of Cyrus' room that we have another conversation. The look on her face told me that she knew exactly what I was up to, but she wouldn't say it. After last year, I'd be hip to what Cyrus and I did from then on out. Could she blame us though?

Stepping a little closer to me, her face was stern, and her voice was not that far off. "Don't think I don't know what you're up to little missy," she said. "If I were you I'd stop what you're doing immediately!"

Now she started to worry me. "And why is that?" I pondered.

Farah chuckled menacingly. "Because sweetheart, Cyrus would love to know about your little fender bender happening with his best friend Jason." She smirked. "Now I don't want to be the one to tell him, but if you keep this up I just might."

My heart raced rapidly. How the hell did she even know about that? The woman was diabolical.

"You wouldn't," I say nervous as fuck.

She nods her head. "Oh yes, I would." She smirked before heading down the hall. "I suggest you think wisely about this, Autumn."

I scoffed rolling my eyes. See, this is why I don't like her.