Book 2: Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

"What do you fucking mean your baby?" Cyrus's voice raised to another level when Jay said that.

I wasn't expecting him to be so bold with his answer. The situation was tense enough but this just made it ten times worse. It didn't help that everyone was around to witness the downfall of a friendship that had been together for so long. Aside from the people who knew, others looked confused. Ashton and the girls looked sad that this was happening now. It was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan.

Jay stepped in front of me to face Cyrus head-to-head. He was calm in his approach because he knew how delicate this was. All I could do was cry, witnessing the two people I cared about so much crumble. These were the consequences of my actions and hurt as much as one would expect. Not only was it not fun but it was embarrassing. We let it get so far that it was too late to turn back. Cyrus had every right to be angry as we both lied to him through our teeth.

Jay shrugged, not taking back his words. "Exactly what I said," he stayed leveled. "The baby that sadly miscarried was mine."

Cyrus looked to the ground with his fists balled up. "A, is this true?" He asked me.

I could barely speak, let alone answer his question. Leave it to Jenna to insert herself though. She's been waiting for this moment for ages and of course, she would be witnessing this. It only made it worse that she knew everything without me even telling her. Last year when she warned Cyrus it was true. She caught us sharing a kiss yet I had lied to him about the whole thing. So did Jay and now he had two people he trusted with his life betray him.

"Yeah, Autumn, is it true?" Jenna was taunting me because she knew it was. That devious smirk on her face said it all.

I licked my lips, avoiding eye contact with Cyrus at all costs. "Cy...it's...true."

Managing to get that out, Cyrus wasted no time punching Jay dead in the face. Everyone looked shocked including me. That was the last thing I expected him to do. Not only that, but there was blood coming from Jay's lip meaning Cyrus got him good. Things were getting a lot more heated than they needed to be. If we could just talk about this like adults we could solve this. Their emotions were just too all over the place to do that.

Jay took the hit though not wincing or anything of the sort. He stood there and let Cyrus punch him like he deserved it. Jay was tough but I don't think he should have let that happen. Now his lip was busted and now what? Would he continue to let Cyrus beat on him just because of a mistake we made? It's not like it amounted to nothing though. Jay and I developed a strong love for each other. Shit happens, we're only human.

Nodding his head, Jay wiped his lip accepting what just happened. "Alright, I guess I deserved that one." He was still as calm as can be. What was he truly feeling?

"Fuck you Jay," Cyrus stated calmly before yelling. "Fuck you!!" He grabbed his shirt with tears in his eyes. "How could you do this to me?"

That tough exterior Jay had faltered once he heard Cyrus say that. "You think I wanted this to happen? I can't control how we feel Cyrus!" He yelled at him, releasing the hold he had on him. "I can't just shut my feelings off."

"Why not!" Cyrus yelled some more.

"Cyrus don't make me—"

"Why...not?" Cyrus asked again.

Jay sighed, running his fingers through his curls. "Because I fell in love with her!" Jay yelled back.

The air went silent again as Cyrus took in what Jay was saying. He never thought his best friend would say something like that to him. The girl that he loved, his friend felt the same way. It only got bad when that very same girl, me, loved them both as well. The mess I caused was hard to watch in person. Before, it was kept in the back of my mind just waiting to implode. With this scene in front of me, I didn't like it nor wanted it to be happening in the first place. This was too much.

Even with that, I admired Jay's tenacity. He wasn't setting out to hurt Cyrus's feelings but he wasn't going to hide his feelings either. The strength this boy possessed always amazed me. He's been through so much. He's lost so many people dear to him. Thankfully, one he's fixing his relationship with but still. Cyrus was the person who was there all those years for Jay. Making sure he was okay and still had a family to call his own. Now all that history, all their time together, it suddenly changed. All because of me.

Cyrus started laughing hysterically. Almost menacingly. All his character went out the window. He was destroyed by this news and it made him go crazy. There was no life in his eyes anymore. Just complete and utter darkness.

"Do you even know how to love a girl?" He asked Jay. "Your whole shtick since I've known you has been keeping girls at a distance. Now you want me to believe that you love Autumn?"

Jay rolled his eyes. "You've said it yourself. My whole *shtick* has been keeping females at a distance." He explained. "If I'm telling you I love someone it ought to be true."

"Or you're just using her like you do everyone else!" Cyrus yelled at him again. However, he was wrong.

Now Jay was getting frustrated. Cyrus wasn't trying to listen to anything he was saying. I don't think he wanted it to be true as much as the next person. But everything Jay said wasn't a lie. I don't know how Jay was with other females as I wasn't around him too much then. However, he has loved me like no other. We were in a relationship for crying out loud! Jay was trying to conceal the truth from him for as long as possible but enough was enough on his end.

"I went out of my way to avoid her for weeks last year!" He finally yelled at him. "You told me to stay away and dammit I tried. You're the one who brought her around me. It's not my fault we had stuff to connect on. She understood me in ways not even you were able to."

Cyrus frowned. "Last year?" He wondered. "Last year...when last year did this happen?"

I knew what he was getting at but didn't want to share that information with him. "Cyrus, I—"

"Please...just tell me." He looked into my eyes finally after such an intense argument with Jay. Cyrus was pleading for an answer.

It was hard, but I told him the truth. "When you asked if I kissed him last year...I lied." I say. "Those last two and a half weeks...the night I slept over at Jay's is when it all started."

The pain on his face was something I would remember forever. It broke my heart to see him this way. To tell him something I've been holding on to for a year. He's been waiting just as much as Jay to see me again. To mend our relationship and start over. With this information, starting over seemed like that went out the window. Cyrus wouldn't want me anymore. I'm sure at this point any love he must have felt for me died. I put him right in Jenna's hands with this one.

There was nothing left for him to say to either of us. His heart was broken and there was no fixing it. That didn't mean I wouldn't try.

"Jay," he began talking. "You're dead to me." His voice went back to being calm.

Jay took it for what it was but I think it affected him more than he let on. As soon as Cyrus said that, Jay walked away never looking back. None of the words out of Cyrus's mouth were a joke though. He meant it and now it was my turn. There wasn't anything I could do about his friendship with Jay, but I wanted to let him know that I loved him too. Just because things with Jay went to levels we weren't expecting it didn't mean I loved him less. It wasn't enough to keep him but enough to let him know that my feelings for him were unchanged.

Walking up to him, I grab his hand not willing to let him go so easily. "Cyrus, please don't go." I beg him. "It's not ideal but I truly do love you, Cyrus."

He looked down at me with that pain in his eyes. He squeezed my hand one last time before letting it go. "You lied to me Autumn," his voice cracked. "I asked you multiple times and you lied."

"It was only because I didn't want to hurt you," I explained. "Plus, Jay left because we both thought you were going to choose me last year and then you didn't."

That made him chuckle but with sadness. "Here we go again. You give me shit, after shit for what happened and this whole time you were sleeping with my best friend!" He yelled. "I was busting my ass trying to figure out a way that we can fix everything that happened and you've been with my friend the whole time."

When he said that it put things in perspective for me. I couldn't argue with that as it's true. I have been giving him shit for decisions he's made a year ago. I was rushing him to figure it out all while being with his best friend. It wasn't fair to him to bear the burden of things that happened in the past while being underhanded. Had he gone through with ending his marriage to Jenna this would have come out either way. It's best it happened now than later.

I looked down, feeling as hurt as he did. "I'm sorry. I can't help how I feel," I say.

"That's why you opted to stay at his house huh? To keep fucking behind my back." He was getting angry with me but that part wasn't true.

My head shakes staring at him in the eyes so he knows I'm telling the truth. "Not even close," I say. "I stayed there for the reason I said. I didn't want to see you with Jenna. Whatever happened after that was only natural on both our parts as we just clicked."

That only made him more emotional. "But what about me?!" He asked. "I love you too and...and—"

"I love you too Cyrus, so much." The tears build up again.

"Then end it with him," he says as he's crying once again. "Go on, do it!"

But I couldn't. There was no way I was going to be able to end my feelings for Jay just because he asked me to. It was more complicated than that. Plus, Jay and I already cemented our relationship. It was a fucked situation for all of us involved. Things happened that shouldn't have and now here we were. Nothing good was going to come out of this day. Everything fell apart and I lost Cyrus.

Seeing as I wasn't saying anything, Cyrus sighed heartbroken by my actions. "Autumn, look at me," he says quietly.

I do as he says, hoping not to hear him say what I think. "Don't do it," I asked him to spare me. "I'm so sorry."

"It's a little too late for sorry," his voice was cold like he wiped any emotions he felt for me out of his system. "I'll never forgive you for this!" He yelled at me before walking away.

My heart shattered hearing him say it but I knew that would happen. He's told me multiple times that he would never forgive me if it were to be true. All I was doing was prolonging the inevitable. Cyrus and I were done and there was no turning back. I broke his heart, made him lose his best friend, and he would be marrying Jenna. Was there any way to fix this mess? I don't think so.