Chapter 51

Chapter 51

My date last night was horrendous! The place was extraordinary and Cyrus and his dad were lovely. It wasn't much to be expected. It still baffled me on why Farah didn’t like me. I was careful with what I said around her. Money couldn’t be the whole reason she didn’t like me. I would not accept that. People cannot be that shallow. Can they?

Not dwelling on it any longer, it frightened me when my door burst open. It was just Jay, but got dammit, he scared the hell out of me. But he seemed different. There were troubling things on his mind.

I walked over to him with concern on my face. “Jay, Hi.” I said.

“Sorry to interrupt, but would you mind coming with me?” He gave a brief explanation.

Confused, I crossed my arms seeing if I could get more details. “You know I don’t mind, but where, if I may ask?”

“You’ll see.”

And with that, we headed downstairs towards his car. I grabbed a jacket just in case and took a seat in his sports car. Jay was the guy to drive in an expensive sports car because that’s the guy he was. Not that it wasn’t spectacular looking because it was. You could tell a man's personality by the car he drove. Jay was more complex than that, though. You’d think he’s one way, but soon realize that there’s more to him than what he carries on the surface. I love that about him.

Making our first stop, it was at a little convenience store that sold the obvious stuff. Though they also sold flowers which Jay picked a bouquet of daffodils that I thought were divine. Meanwhile, I was fooling around with the sunglasses they had at the register. Although I was just trying them on, Jay took the ones I liked the most and bought them for me. It was unnecessary, but he did anyway. He’s been doing a lot of things for me.

We hopped back in the car, me with my new sunglasses and Jay with the daffodils. He rolled the windows up and went towards the hill. I didn’t mind as the wind blew through my hair and the sun shone against my skin. No one knew where he was going. I wasn't aware we were so far away. What was he planning?

Stopping, we were on top of the hill, nothing making sense. As I followed behind him, it hit me what we were doing and I smiled. It wasn’t a smiling moment, but my heart felt warm that he’d take me to meet his mom. I didn't expect that from him. Especially because we didn’t go to an actual grave site.

Jay sat down with the daffodils in his hand and smiled. He looked at me, gesturing for me to come. So I did and sat next to him, smiling at the picture of his mom. It stunned me how much he looked like her. He was a carbon copy, leaving me to wonder what his dad looked like.

“Hi mom.” He spoke. “It took me a while to return. I made it!” He rested the flowers down next to her picture. There were other flowers as well.

I stayed silent, as I didn’t know what to say. I also didn’t want to intrude on his moment with his mom because it reminded me of when I visit my dad. You don’t know if they’re listening, but it was nice to talk in case. Getting things off your chest was satisfying. The more things I found out about Jay, the closer we became. It was beautiful.

He kept his eyes focused on the picture of his mom, but directed his words at me. “You can say hi.” He reassured me.

So I did. “Hi...um...”

“Elaine.” He filled me in.

“Hi, Elaine. We haven’t met before, but I’m excited to be here. Your son looks just like you.” I say, knowing little about her.

He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “You only say that because you haven’t seen my dad.” He remarked. “Speaking of which, he was here.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused at how he knew that. “How do you know?” I asked.

“Those daffodils are fresh.” He states.

He was correct about the other bouquet. It would make sense if his father were there. We didn’t run into him because that would have been awkward. I would want to kick his teeth in for abandoning his son, but that’s besides the point. There was no telling what Jay would feel about seeing him in person. It would not go well.

Getting off his dad, we sat there as he spent a few minutes just looking at her picture. His tears being hard to contain, he turned away from me so I wouldn’t see him. It always baffled me why men thought crying in front of their friends was a sign of weakness. A man showing his emotions was not a bad thing. In fact, women found it endearing when they did. It showed they can be vulnerable just as much as we could. Though in Jay’s case, I already saw him cry. Why did he want to hide? It was weird.

Not taking this, I moved over, grabbing Jay’s face and turning it towards me. His dark blue eyes were red from the crying he was doing. The way he twiddled with his fingers told me he was nervous. He should have known by now that I would not judge him. I would not let a few tears turn me away.

I wipe his cheek, looking into his eyes. “You don’t need to hide from me.” I say, wiping every tear that dropped.

He sniffled, still trying to turn away from me, but I wouldn’t let him. “I don’t want you seeing me like this.” He said, a shakiness noticeable in his voice.

“Why not?” I asked him, not missing a drop.

“Because this isn’t me! I’m not a sensitive guy!” He yelled, frustrated with the world. “I fuck up everything. Everyone leaves me, and I ended my mom’s life. It wouldn’t be surprising if you stopped being around me as well. I’ll ruin that too.”

He poured his feelings out to me, still blaming himself for his mom. None of it was fair, and I felt so bad hearing him talk like this. There was so much he wasn’t giving himself credit for. It was hard trying to live when one parent is gone and the other parent is missing while also blaming you. He had Cyrus who cared for him. Now he also had me as well. I couldn't leave him. No matter how hard he tried to push me away.

Smiling, I continued to wipe his tears, shaking my head at him. “Sometimes you can be hardheaded and even an asshole. You’re also a flirt who doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants most times.” That caused a slight smirk to appear on his face. “But deep down, you are that sensitive guy you try to hide. Little do you know how much I adore that guy. I love seeing you express your feelings to me because that’s who you are, Jay.”

I needed him to know how great he was. All parts of him were not the tough guy he tried to portray. He was more than that. The potential in him was just waiting to burst out.

“You’re a fucking cool ass man, Jay. All eyes fall on you as you walk into a room. You ooze confidence. Things most people wish they had, but you possess.” I finished my thoughts. “I know it’s rough right now, but listen to me. While I’m here, you’re always going to have someone. I’ll never leave you. Ever.”

He stared at me; the tears stopping for a moment. I don't know if that made him feel better. Everything said was true. There wasn’t a chance of me leaving him. Especially not like this. He needed someone by his side to guide him in the right direction. If it had to be me, then so it shall. You never turn your back on a friend. Even if he wanted me to, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t!

Not saying anything, he snuggled his head into my chest as I wrapped my arms around him. We stayed here a little longer, and I didn’t mind. We could’ve stayed there all night if he needed. Plus, it was nice being in the presence of his mom. She was here in spirit. I wanted her to know that her boy was in excellent hands.