Chapter 45

Chapter 45

The next day, I head back out to Jay's. This guy didn't like to be alone, clearly. Unfortunately for him, Cyrus couldn't make it. He was currently on his assigned date with Twila, which was not much of a date. Still, I'm sure they were having a great time and I couldn't wait to hear all about it when she got back. It was the first time in awhile that Twila had left the house since the whole thing with Sienna went down. She needed this.

As for Jay and I, we had no idea what we were doing. He was expecting Cyrus to come so that had something to do with it. Though it was nice getting to sit back and get to know him some more. We haven't had the best track record regarding us being friends. Things were awkward between us, and we needed to fix it. Hence why I am here now.

Sitting in his gigantic living room, Jay came back with some drinks for us while the tv played in the background. Quietly, I sip on my iced cold cola, while looking around his house. It was always nice seeing the difference between the party versus when no one was here. It wasn't as big as the Hadid's, but it didn't fail in comparison. It was more cozy, something I'd prefer any day. Though it was strange that he seemed to be the only one in the house. I know what happened to his mom, but what about his dad? The rest of his family? If it were sensitive to him, I wouldn't ask. But part of me wanted to know.

Gathering up the courage, I looked over at him, hoping he'd be willing to tell me. "I've been meaning to ask, where is the rest of your family?" I asked, hoping he would shed some light on the situation.

For a minute he didn't say anything. Instead, he avoided eye contact trying to figure out how to respond to me. I guess it was something I shouldn't have been asking him about. It was a bit nosey on my part and after such a sensitive explanation about his mom, I was overstepping. Things were so quiet around here that I needed to know. There was no way he would be able to throw wild parties like he does if his dad were here. Or any family for that matter. That was probably why he wanted someone over as well. He might be lonely.

Still not looking at me, Jay sighed, not expecting me to ask that. "You sure do know how to ask hard hitting questions." He said and I instantly felt bad.

"Please don't feel like you have to answer it was a silly question." I panicked a bit, feeling like I had crossed some weird line.

He chuckled, looking me in the eyes this time. "Relax, A, it's not a big deal. Really." His voice was softer than usual, making me feel more comfortable. "Long story short, my dad doesn't exactly live here."

That shocked me. How could he have the whole house to himself? I mean, now it was normal because he is an adult, but was it always like this? You would think he and his dad would be close considering what happened. Hearing this, he doesn't have a relationship at all with him. For some reason, that really got to me. Having a father is important to me and the fact that Jay was pretty much alone infuriated me.

"What do you mean? Where is he?" The fire fuming inside me was uncontrollable.

Jay looked at me, confused, not knowing why I was so angry. "Well I was seventeen when the accident happened. Afterwards he moved to the vacation home not far from here. He's been there ever since." He shrugged, not really phased by it.

My heart felt broken hearing this. I'm not sure what it was, but it pained me. However, when I thought about it more, I realized why I was so hurt by this. Our situations weren't comparable, but we were both without our fathers. Although mine didn't have a choice making me loathe Jay's dad even more. He had a choice to stay or not, and he chose not to. That pissed me off. Did he even know what's been going on with Jay? How has he been feeling? None of it made sense to me and I felt my blood boiling hotter every minute that I thought about it.

Suddenly, tears started to spill out of my eyes. The emotions of anger and sadness taking over me. Jay looked at me, shocked and scared with not knowing what to do to comfort me. There was no comfort to be given. It's not like I needed it. I was just angry! Everything about what he said triggered emotions I didn't even know were still lingering there. If I ever saw his father, I would smack him!

Jay started panicking, frantically grabbing tissues. "Holy shit, Autumn, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? Oh man, Cyrus is going to kill me." He said, leaning in front of me, trying to wipe my tears.

I chuckled, taking the tissue from his hands. "I'm sorry but I...I don't understand why your father wouldn't want to be here with you!" I yelled. "I wish I could even get a glimpse of my father again and the fact that you don't have anything with yours while he's a few miles away hurts me." I explain as he just looks at me feeling my pain I'm letting off. "I see how hurt you are about what happened to your mom and I could relate to that so much. What happened to my dad made my family closer. He should want to be here and comfort you like a parent should."

I was frantic, but I couldn't help it. They could see each other and spend time together. I'm positive his mother would not be happy with how things turned out. This shouldn't have divided them, but pulled them closer together. Jay was hurting just as much as his dad was and his dad needed to see that. None of this sat well with me. It made me feel sick in a way.

He still looked at me, confused at what I was getting at. It wouldn't hurt to tell him what happened. I haven't shared this with anyone else, but if I told anyone it should be Jay. He was the only one who would be able to understand me. Regarding something like this. Even though they were drastically different, we could relate on a level that no one else would be able to.

"I know I'm being dramatic it's just that this kind of thing means a lot to me." I say, "I lost my father and just like you I was a wreck." Jay looked surprised at this revelation. "I was a bit younger than you were, it still hurt so much. That's why you should want to have a relationship with your dad. You already lost your mom there's no reason to lose both parents."

Pouring my heart out to him, Jay sighed, taking in everything I was saying. Before I knew it, he pulled me into him, hugging me tightly. It was unexpected, but I immediately hugged him back, feeling our emotions together. This was the first time someone other than my family understood my feelings. They got where all my sensitivity was coming from and it felt great to be able to breakdown this way without concealing myself. Jay understood and we could have a moment together. Cementing our friendship to new heights.

Holding on to me tightly, I hear him chuckle in my ear. "Why do you have to have such a big heart, A?" He questioned, but he sounded happy when he said it. "I appreciate your worry for me. I really do but don't concern yourself with my chaotic life."

I shot up to look at him in his eyes. "But I will no matter what you say because you're my friend, Jay. I'll never stop caring about you or your feelings."

He stared at me, looking startled for a moment. There was no way that I was going to stop concerning myself with this sort of thing. He hasn't healed yet, and frankly, neither have I. Those things were hard to deal with alone, and if his dad didn't want to help him through it, then I'd be the one too. We could go through this process together and heal as one. There was no reason for him to suffer alone. Especially not when he had someone like me to stay by his side. We may not have been friends for a long time, but none of that matters. It's never about how long you know a person but what you see in them. And I see great things in Jay's future.

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he pulled me into him again. This time kissing the top of my head. Without hesitation I hugged him back, crying softly with a smile on my face, snuggled in his chest. This may have looked wrong, but it wasn't anything like that. We happened to share a moment that we couldn't share with anyone else. I'm sure if anyone saw us like this they'd think of something that would rattle Cyrus up. However, I saw Jay as nothing more than a friend in need and right now we both needed each other. I couldn't ask for a more perfect moment.

We stayed like that for a good fifteen minutes before letting go and cleaning our faces off. Instead of watching a movie, I decided that we should make some delicious treats for us and Cyrus when he gets here. Jay was going to help me, of course, because I wasn't doing it alone. It reminded me of the times I would bake with Kira, only we'd be doing it from scratch unlike right now. It will still taste delicious nevertheless.

Following the directions on the box, we decided we'd make some fudge brownies. Mainly because that's all he had. They were going to be great, though, and who could turn down a fudge brownie?

"Next time I come over, I'm making a cake you can't possibly resist." I say not too keen about following box instructions. "Also, it'll be from scratch and not this stuff. Though you don't have the proper ingredients."

He laughed, cracking an egg and putting it in. "How about you send me a list and I'll make sure to get everything ready to go for you." He suggested.

I nodded, only I couldn't. "That would be great if I had my phone but I don't because of this stupid competition." I rolled my eyes. It was really hard not having it.

Jay walked over to a draw grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. "That's what the classic pen and paper come into play for." He smiled at me, handing them over.

I smiled at him not being able to argue with that. I wrote down everything I needed, making sure not to miss anything. This made me feel giddy inside as I was finally going to be able to bake on my own terms. I couldn't remember the last time I got to do anything like this, so it was going to be extra fun. It was going to be even more fun because I would get Jay to help me again. Whether he liked it or not.

Finishing my list, I handed it over to Jay before realizing that I may have gone overboard. "I can totally take some of that off if it's too expensive." I say, forgetting that he had to spend money on this stuff. "I could pay you back as well no problem."

"Do you freak out about everything?" He asked me, laughing at my face. "There's nothing to worry about. I already told you I got it." He hushed me up.

Sighing, I finish mixing up the brownie mix before looking in his direction. "I know I just feel bad. It feels like I should pay for something even though I don't have much I don't mind." I tried explaining, but he wasn't listening to me.

He grabbed a pan ignoring everything I just said. "So what do we put the oven on?" He asked me.

I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Did you really ignore what I told you?"

Nodding his head, he poured the batter into the pan making sure to fit every drop. "Yes, because I'm not going to listen to what you say or accept any money from you." He was honest. "I'll buy it with my own money it's not a big deal. I promise."

I bit the inside of my cheek, still not feeling right about it. I'm not sure what it is with me and people spending money on me. I just don't like it. It never feels right no matter how much they tell me it's ok. I guess because I couldn't contribute much but wanted to so desperately. It shouldn't be a bad thing when friends want to cover for me, but to me it was. My brain functioned weirdly like that, leaving me to overthink everything.

Jay noticed my inner turmoil as he walked over to me and ruffled my hair. "Will you stop overthinking? You'll ruin the brownies." He whined.

That made me laugh while shoving him away. "Oh shut up!" I joked with him.

We have had an interesting day so far together. Nothing went how I thought it would, but I felt our relationship grow from the moment we shared. I was seeing a different side of Jay that I didn't truly know existed. He was charismatic the moment I met him, but there was a softness to him that only a select few people got to see. I was happy that now I was one of those people. This friendship was going to last quite a long time. I could feel it.

Putting the brownies in the over, Jay suddenly paused before looking at me with the most sincerest of smiles I ever saw from him.

"Thank you, A. Thank you."