Book 2: Chapter 63

**Chapter 63**

Our mini vacation was over and we were all sad to leave that beautiful house. The boys did a great job cleaning everything up too. Nothing was broken or left in a dirty state. His parents will be pleasantly surprised to see that we took great care of their home. I'm thankful enough for them letting us stay. It gave us a much-needed breather from everything going on.

Now it was back to reality with the wedding coming up in the next two weeks. This week was the rehearsal dinner and the week after Cyrus will be married. It's a shame that he had to be wed like this. Jay and I didn't exactly leave him in a happy predicament. If I were in his position I'd be such a wreck. I'm sure his heart was shattered and the only way I could try to bring him some solace was to talk to him.

Of course, such a task could never be easy. Going to the Hadid home was asking to get buried. I didn't want to see Farah, I didn't want to see Jenna, and others looked down on my relationship with Jay. There wasn't anything to be said to them that would make any of this okay. However, I wasn't worried about making them feel okay about it. The one person who probably didn't expect any of this was Saida,

Coming down the stairs, she was surprised to see me. I'd be surprised too after the scene that went down. I'm not sure how much she knows and us staying in each other's good graces didn't seem like it would be something in her best interests.

Still, she looked happy to see me but a bit more hesitant to hug me. This exchange was very awkward but I didn't know what to say to her. The impression she had of me was good and now I ruined it. All by breaking her brother's heart. Maybe she'll be more forgiven than Cyrus ever will be.

"A...I didn't expect to see you." She gave me a half smile.

I smile back. "Saida...hey." I was nervous speaking to her. "Did you—"

"I heard," she says. "I probably should have guessed when I stayed over. Summers's comment makes a lot more sense now."

It's no surprise she caught on. Back then I was concerned about causing a conflict of interest but that has gone out the window. Besides Cyrus, Saida's opinion meant a lot to me. She's the only other person I cared about in his family. The only other person I had a relationship with. Losing her friendship, even though she's only 14, would hurt.

When I came here Saida accepted me with open arms. She's best friends with my sister and I felt like I was betraying her. The one thing she expected me to do I failed. We talked so much about my relationship with Cyrus. She noticed so many changes in him since we started talking. Now who knows if he'll ever talk to me again. I wouldn't blame Saida if she didn't want to talk to me anymore.

Sighing, I couldn't predict her response but I felt like I should apologize anyway. "I'm sorry Saida," I say sincerely. "Jay...we just happened out of nowhere."

Saida laughed. "Why are you apologizing to me?" She wondered.

"Aren't you mad at me?" I asked her. "I broke your brother's heart."

She sighed. "Yeah, but I know it wasn't on purpose." She smiles. "Love is complicated. Even I at 14 know that."

I couldn't help but smile at her. She was so clever yet so young. "Still, I'm sorry. Truly."

Saida let go of her hesitation and hugged me. It felt nice to get a good squeeze from her. I'm sure her mother didn't want her to speak to me after everything but Saida was her own person. Unlike her mom, she had a heart and a better understanding of people than Farah ever would. She didn't see people for the money they had but for who they were on the inside. I'm lucky to have her be friends with Summer.

Letting her go, there was still a mission I needed to complete. I didn't come here just for nothing. The closure I was seeking needed to be dealt with today. Even if he didn't want to see my face. It's been a good few days of giving him space. I didn't properly get to talk to him about it. Who knows, maybe he'll see things from my perspective with a calmer attitude. Or my face could piss him off more. Either way, it is worth a shot.

"Do you know if he's—"

"He's in his room," she says already knowing why I'm here. "He's been in there all weekend."

That shouldn't have surprised me the way it did. "All weekend. He didn't go to the luncheon?"

Her head shakes. "He's not been himself ever since A." She smiles. "But if you talk to him I'm sure he'll perk right up."

I laugh but I don't think it's going to over how she thinks. "You might be right," I say as to not get her hopes up.

We say goodbye before I continue to trudge up the stairs. The closer I got to his room the more my chest tightened. He could very well turn me away and then what was I going to do? I'm the last person he wants to see and now I'm going to knock on his door. If he were willing to talk to me we could get things straightened out. He'll never want to go back to normal but we had to at least be cordial. I'm still supposed to be here for another week. I can't act like he's not there.

As I got to his door, I didn't know if I should knock on it or if I should speak to him through the door. If I did so, he wouldn't open it. My best bet was to just knock so he'd at least open up. Even if he tries to slam the door in my face, I'll have a much better chance of stopping him.

Knocking lightly, I waited patiently for him to open the door. On the other side, I could hear him groan a bit. I didn't want to be troubling him at a time like this but I'm desperate. Desperate to see him, talk to him, and tell him I'm sorry. That was my goal at the end of all of this. Just to apologize and hopefully be forgiven. He said he never would forgive me for something like this but he could have a change of heart.

The door opened and as soon as Cyrus saw my fave he immediately went to shut the door. Luckily I got my foot in between just in time. He was still angry but he was going to let me in.

I kept my foot in place while leaning against the door to keep it open. "You have to let me in," I beg.

His face wore a permanent frown staring at me. "Why are you here?" He questioned. I could hear the anger in his voice.

"To talk." I bit my lip out of nerves. "And because I miss you."

He scoffs. "It's a little too late for that." He tries to close the door again but I won't let him.

"5 minutes and I'll leave." Negotiating was the only way to go.

It seemed to have worked because unexpectedly he opened the door wider almost making me fall. Even with him being over the top mad at me he still managed to catch me in his arms. His hands wrapped around my waist tightly, I could feel his eyes resting on me as he kept me close to him. His foot kicked the door closed and immediately the air around us changed. It felt more tense than it just was. Not only that, I could feel the sadness radiating off of him. I couldn't look him in the eye knowing I caused this.

"Did you come here to make me sad all over again?" He wondered. His voice was less hostile.

My heart hurt hearing him say that. "I never wanted to hurt you Cyrus."

His embrace became tighter. "Then why?" He asked.

"I wish I could tell you why or even how for that matter." I finally look up at him. "I just wanted to apologize to you and tell you that regardless of how things turned out, my love for you is unchanged."

None of that should have mattered to him. I did exactly what he told me not to do and he had every right to hate my guts. I'm lucky he even let me inside his room. It's not everything I wanted to say to him but it was better than nothing. There wasn't much I could explain about how Jay and I started. Some things just happen and even though we could’ve stopped we didn’t. We kept going because for whatever reason we were drawn to each other. In the same way, I was drawn to Cyrus.

Cyrus couldn’t hold back his emotions though as the tears came spilling out of his eyes. The way he gripped my back felt like he was desperate for a better answer than that. It’s almost like he was pleading for me to tell him that I was joking. That none of what was happening was true. But I couldn’t tell him that. It would be a lie and I already lied to him enough.

“I…I asked you, Autumn,” he says through tears. “I asked you and you told me nothing was happening.”

The more he spoke the more my heart broke. “I’m sorry Cyrus.” That was all I could say.

His hands grabbed my shirt even tighter. If he weren’t careful he’d rip it right off. “How could you lie to me?” He asked.

My shoulders shrug. “Would telling the truth have made it any better?” I chuckle nervously. “Either way I would still be an asshole who slept with your best friend behind your back.”

That seemed to calm him down as his grip loosened. He understood what I was saying and realized it would not have made a difference. We would still be exactly where we are right now. Maybe with a bit more rationale in the midst of it but still here. I crushed any chance of us having something real. He was going to go off and marry someone he had no connection with. All because I couldn’t make up my mind between the two. I’m the worst.

Cyrus sighed as I wiped his tears away. This was the most raw emotion I had ever seen out of him. My actions got to him badly if his reaction was like this. There was no doubt that Cyrus loved me in ways unimaginable. If given the chance I would reciprocate it but not if it means giving up Jay.

His hand grabbed me to stop me from wiping his face. “So I guess this is it?” His eyes looked down at me.

“It doesn’t have to be,” I say. “But I don’t think you’ll be comfortable with my proposal.”

That caught his attention. “What do you mean?” He pondered. “Please tell me it’s not what I think.”

“It could work! Jay has been perfectly okay with it this whole time.” Not to bring him up but it’s true.

Cyrus rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to be joking.” He did not sound happy about that.

It was dumb of me to bring it up. That was just adding fuel to the fire. Hearing Jay was open to me still seeing him probably made him angry. The competitive spirit of these two was wild to witness. Especially when it came to their relationship with me. It’s like they both were having some sort of pissing contest to see who I valued more. When in reality they both provide me with different things. It’s not as simple as they would like it to be.

My head shakes. “No, I’m not,” I giggle. “But you would have to be okay with it too.”

He stared at me intently judging how serious I was before throwing his head back. “God I miss hearing you giggle.” He says before smiling at me. “I don’t know if I can commit to something like that Autumn.”

My lips purse. “I see…” I trail off.

“But there is one more request I have for you.” He smirks before going over to lock his door. “I’m not saying I forgive you or that I’m over the situation. But dammit, I love you A so spend one more night with me.”

That caught me off guard as I wasn’t prepared to spend a night with him. Hell, I didn’t think he would offer that to me. He should have been kicking me out telling me how dead I was to him. Instead, his feelings for me couldn’t be beat. It’s not like it would be out of the realm for me to stay with him. We’ve done this plenty of times before. If he’s not going to agree to my idea then what’s one more night?

Smiling, I couldn’t help but think he was playing some joke on me. “You’re serious aren’t you?” I asked with a playful grin.

“Dead serious.” He says walking up to me.

Within 2 seconds Cyrus cupped my face in his hands and kissed me ever so sweetly. My heart pangs in my chest at his sudden actions. This was the last thing I was expecting to come out of this. Even if our relationship ends afterwards at least we’re both able to find some closure. Even if that closure comes from the locking of our lips. We would have a good time together just like we always do.

Cyrus lifts me as I giggle at the unexpectedness. My fingers run through his hair as I pull our faces closer together. The smile on his face was something I didn’t feel like I’d see ever again. If this one night was something that’ll make him happy then you’re damn right I’d do it. Besides, we still love each other. That much hasn’t changed.

“I’m so sorry Cyrus,” I couldn’t help but apologize again.

He hushed me though. “Shh…just forget it for tonight. Please.”