Book 2: Chapter 19

***Chapter 19***

It was a rainy, gloomy day as Jay, and I stayed inside the house all day. We had one more day until we had to be at a wedding shower tomorrow. It wasn't something either of us was looking forward to but had to attend anyway. I much rather sit here and look through bedding options before going to anything related to this wedding. Especially not after the conversation I had with Cyrus yesterday.

The fact that he wanted me to have an answer by tomorrow is blasphemy! That question was a pill to swallow. There were so many things that could go wrong, and I don't think I'm willing to risk it all. Before it was different because Cyrus was a single man. He was able to do whatever he wanted when he wanted. Now, there are things and people involved that make the situation riskier than last time. How the hell were we supposed to sneak anyway? Jenna literally lives with him and how would Jay feel if I started doing that again? Our relationship was still in the air, but we had been getting closer as the days went on. Am I willing to sacrifice that all for Cyrus?

Closing the laptop, Jay looked over at me bored by the online shopping we were doing. The room was painted, but we still had to paint the bathroom and get furniture. I'm sure this was the last thing he wanted to do. A lot of men don't take to the decorating aspect when it comes to homes. This was his house now and as lovely as it is, he needed to start making it his own. Starting with the master bedroom.

"Can we please take a break?" He asked me, resting his head back on the couch. "My eyes are killing me."

I laughed while setting the laptop down on the coffee table. "Fine, but this project will never get done with your procrastination," I say.

He smiled at me lifting his head back up. "We can get back to it, I just need a couple of hours to decompress," he explains before getting this somber expression on his face. "And I need to ask you something."

That wasn't something new, but I was intrigued either way. Lately, I've been the one wanting to ask questions. Whenever it came to Kameron, I wanted to know what was happening and or what she was saying to him. It bugged me that she was all over him without much concern about what I felt about it let alone how Jenna would feel about Cyrus. Though it was hard to fault her since I was debating whether or not to sneak around with Cyrus disregarding her feelings as well.

Still, Jay asking me questions led to us talking about things I didn't think we needed to worry about yet. It was nice knowing where his head was at. Knowing that he was willing to do anything to be with me is comforting. At the same time, it felt unfair to him for things to happen this way. Shouldn't he want me all to himself? Why is he so willing to share instead of just keeping me?

"What's happening with you and Cyrus?" He asked me not making eye contact. "Sorry, I shouldn't be asking. I just..." he trailed off.

I look at him intently, feeling the air shift between us. "You just what?" I asked him this time.

He sighed running his fingers through his hair. "I don't know. I feel our relationship is moving in a different direction," he states. "I need to know what's happening so I can know what to do."

That made sense, but it didn't help me decide regarding Cyrus' proposal. Based on my response, what was Jay going to do? If there were a chance of him friend-zoning me for real this time I wouldn't want that. But what if his reaction was the opposite? What if he was willing to stay with me regardless of my feelings for Cyrus? It would still mean we have to keep it on the down low, but what if?

Fiddling with my fingers, I looked down explaining to him the situation with Cyrus. "Um, well if you didn't know he asked me if I would sneak around with him like I used to," I told him feeling relieved to get that off my chest.

Jay raised a brow, hearing every word I was saying. "What did you tell him?" He asked curiously.

"I told him I don't know but then he told me I needed to give him an answer by tomorrow," I looked at Jay trying to read his face after I told him the situation.

It surprised me that he didn't look upset by my words. It's like he expected this to be the case and was fully prepared for it. My concern now was what he do with that information. Is this going to drive him away? Will my constant yearning for Cyrus make our relationship fade into the background? It was difficult being in love with two people who gave you things that the other didn't. If they were the same person, it would be so much easier, but they weren't.

What he said shocked me though.

"Whatever you decide is okay with me," he said unfazed by the whole situation.

My eyes widened at his words. "If I say yes, it won't change anything between us?" I was surprised.

He shook his head, "Autumn, I love you and I know Cyrus loves you too," he said calmly. "And at the end of the day, he did have you first. Either way, I'm willing to share you if it means I get to keep you as well."

What is Jay on right now? I knew we'd been staring at a computer screen for the better half of the morning, but I didn't think it would make him delusional. Did he mean what he was saying? If Cyrus and I were to start a relationship again, Jay wouldn't mind. He'd be okay with it so long as I was still with him too. Were we even mature enough to try this out? Jay used to get so jealous even if I so as went on a date with Cyrus. Now he wanted to share me with no qualms? What happened to the Jason I knew? I guess this is what maturing is all about.

Not knowing what to say, I simply wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could. I'm unsure of the decision I'll make about Cyrus tomorrow, but it was nice knowing that Jay would still be mine regardless of the situation. After all, Jay and I weren't officially dating so we were both free to do what we wanted. However, what would happen if we were to be dating? Would his opinion on the matter change?

My question wasn’t answered yet because the doorbell rang. It was a literal thunderstorm outside who in their right mind was coming here? We weren't aware of anybody visiting us, but when we found out who it was, we were stunned. I haven't seen him since the incident a few days ago. It was awkward seeing him here, but he looked desperate to talk to Jay and me.

Derrick, Jay's father, looked at us with a soft expression. "Hey son, can I come in?" He looked at Jay hoping he'd say yes.

Jay didn't know what to do but let him in anyway. Unlike before, there wasn't a weird tension in the air. Derrick didn't look like he came here to cause any trouble. In fact, he looked sorry. We don't know each other personally, but this is coming from the heart and not because he's obligated to. It showed real growth from him, and I think Jay needed to hear this. It's been years, it was about time they reconciled.

Derrick looked at me before focusing his attention back on Jay. "I-uh, I wanted to talk to you," he seemed nervous.

Jay clenched his jaw, not keen on the idea. "Since when do you want to talk to me?" His voice held some hostility to it. "Did Clara make you do it?"

"No-no," Derrick continued to stutter. "Look, son, I've done some thinking and I would like to apologize to you." This stunned us both.

Jay's dad was apologizing to him after all this time. This is something he had been waiting for forever and it was finally happening. The overjoy I felt hearing those words come out of his mouth is indescribable. I'm not even the one he's apologizing to, yet it made me excited! Jay deserved this and although he wasn't showing it on his face, I knew he felt relief.

"I've been a shit father and you didn't deserve what I put you through. We were both hurting, and I should have realized that sooner. I was selfish, garbage even." He was sincere. "If it weren't for your friend here, I don't think I would have ever woken up," he looked at me.

I cringed at my behavior. "Sorry about that. It was rude of me to insert myself like that," I apologized to him.

He brushed it off. "Sometimes you need to be an asshole to get your point across and you definitely did that." At least there were no hard feelings. "Jay, if you don't want to forgive me you don't have to but know if you do, I'm willing to make things right. I just want to be there for you as I should have been."

Jay was silent, not saying a word. He was staring like he didn't know what to say to Derrick. It's been years since he's had any sort of relationship with his father. This could be the start of something new for him. All the work he's been putting in to better himself and grow is paying off. Before we knew it, Jay would be off to doing great things in his future. There's no doubt he would succeed, but now that his father is back this can change things to greater heights.

Jay sighed scratching the back of his neck. "This all could've been said over the phone," he accepted his apology. "It's bad out you shouldn't even be outside."

I smiled to myself knowing that was his way of saying he accepts his father’s apology. Even if he didn't say it directly, I think Derrick knew that as well since he chuckled at his comment.

"I should head back before it gets worse, but I wanted to tell you in person as that's more formal," Derrick explained. It was more meaningful as well.

Jay gave a soft smile walking Derrick to the door. "Drive safe and tell everyone I said hi," he said the hostility long gone from his voice.

"I will and we have to do a dinner again since the other got ruined." You can see the guilt on Derrick's face.

Jay and I both nodded in agreement before Derrick said goodbye to both of us one more time. It was nice that he came here to start the process of rekindling their relationship. Jay looked like he was around for that to happen but was still on the fence about it. Derrick was going to have to prove himself to Jay and not disappoint him. I knew his mom was smiling down happy to see her boys finally getting it right. I'm sure this is what she has wanted for a long time now.

Turning back toward me, Jay wrapped his arms around me sighing in relief. I'm willing to bet that was a big weight lifted off his shoulders. Holding so much resentment toward his father was probably a draining emotion to have. This way, he can let go of those negative feelings and start building positive ones. It wasn't much, but it was something to get them in the right direction. I couldn't wait to see where this took them.

"Ugh and we still have this stupid wedding shower tomorrow," he groaned yearning to just relax.

I laughed feeling his pain. "Don't remind me," I say but not too worried about it. "Why don't I make us some lunch and we watch a movie," I suggested. It was the perfect way to relax.

That perked him up. "I knew there was a reason I liked you here. You always cook for me," he smiled.

Laughing, I untangled myself from him heading to the kitchen to find something to make. Tomorrow was going to be a troubling day since Cyrus would be looking for an answer. I'm unsure how he was going to pull this off, but Cyrus has always been full of surprises.