Chapter 43

Chapter 43

I don't know what was wrong with me, but here I was again knocking on his door. My body couldn't stay away from him for some reason. No matter how bad this went, I just had to see him. Maybe the maturity wasn't there but what I felt for him was. Ending things how I wanted to end them wasn't ideal in my book. However, whatever Cyrus wanted to do we were going to do it. I wouldn't trap him in something as silly as what we have going on. He deserved more.

Waiting outside the door, it finally opened to a shirtless Cyrus who looked surprised to see me. It was late at night, and we didn't have plans to see each other. Either way, I needed to see him so that we could fix things. Possibly.

Stunned, it didn't stop him from letting me inside. His hair was dripping wet which told me he just got out of the shower. The droplets landing softly on his broad shoulders. I was almost sad that I didn't get to shower with him this time around. Regardless, that's not what I was here for. No matter how badly I wished to be in there with him. We had more pressing things to worry about.

Drying his hair with a towel, he looked at me not knowing what to say. This was a first for him as he always knew what to say to me. Did I mess up that badly?

Staring at each other wasn't getting us anywhere so I decided to break the ice. "Cyrus I-"

"Are you ready to talk?" He asked me, sitting down on his bed. That was all he cared about huh.

I gulped not sure of what to say. I did want to have the talk. I really did, but why was I so nervous? I've never felt like this before. It was just Cyrus, and we were only talking. Talking like we've done many times before. Though this conversation was more serious than others. This conversation was going to determine everything for us. Whether we were made for each other or not. Tonight, it is going to cement how things fell into place. So why was I so nervous?

Not saying a word, I looked down, the emotions slowly taking over me. Having to prove to someone how mature you are was nerve racking. What if he didn't like me for me? This would be a waste of time if nothing good came from it. Afterwards, he could decide that we weren't right for each other, then what? I try to mend my broken heart of course, but what good would that really do? I'd be losing someone that has become so dear to me in just a few short weeks. Something my heart couldn't bear. I was never good at losing the people I cared about most. This was no different.

As the tears welled in my eyes, Cyrus walked over to me gently cupping my face while wiping my tears away. "Talk to me, A. Tell me what you're feeling." His voice was soft and gentle like he really cared about me.

That only made me more emotional. "H-how?" I say through sniffles. "I wasn't exactly nice to you."

"Doesn't matter, now tell me what you're thinking." He said not caring about how kind I was or not to him. He just wanted to talk.

Realizing that made me want to open up to him. It made me feel better knowing that he actually wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to be here and there was no way he knew how happy it made me. However, there was still a sudden sadness that lingered deep down inside me. The fear really took control over me. It was maddening to say the least. Who knew one person would make you feel so many different things at once?

I chuckled at how pathetic I was but said my peace anyway. "I'm...I'm angry about how I treated you. How I acted towards you. But I'm happy just to be able to see you." I say, smiling softly. "However, I'm scared." I stop myself from speaking as the tears start to spill over.

Cyrus doesn't hesitate to catch every drop gently wiping my eyes with his thumbs. "Why are you scared my love?" He asked me with so much care in his voice.

"Because...in an instant I could lose you. I have never been great at losing people, but I also never felt this way for someone before. The way I feel for you is scary. Especially because I don't know what I'm feeling." I confess feeling like I let something off my chest. "I'm a kid from a small town who was forced to act like an adult. Now here I am pretending like I know it all when I don't."

"No one knows it all, Autumn." Cyrus said lifting my face up towards his.

My eyes were filled with tears making my vision cloudy but still seeing his worry for me. "Yes, but if I can barely have an adult conversation with you how can you be with me?" I was hysterical now. "How can you take me seriously if we're not even close on the same maturity spectrum." I argued, feeling sadness weigh me down.

I still wasn't sure what I felt for him, but I knew it was something strong. A strong feeling that was never there for any guy before. Other than my dad of course. Cyrus was filling holes in places I didn't even know were empty still. He was showing me a world unbeknownst to me before. Although the money was spent a lot, it was great getting a small glimpse into his world and what it was like to be Cyrus. Most importantly, it was amazing what was in his heart. The one thing I wanted to hold on to tightly.

His hair draped in front of his face as he took the words, I said to him. There was no telling how he would react to them and that was ok. If I said what I needed, then the outcome didn't matter. He knew how I felt and what I wanted. The rest was in his court on whether he would still accept me. I might've said too much but it's what was on my mind, and he needed to hear it. He needed to hear just how much I cared about him. In the end, the memories we created would stay with me for the rest of time.

Suddenly, a smirk appeared on his face as he pulled me into him so tightly. The way he squeezed me made me feel full again. Like he wasn't giving up on me.

"You're a stupid girl, you know that Autumn?" He whispered in my ear with a kind of glee in his voice. "I may not know everything, but I know you're still growing. I don't expect you to just fully know how to be an adult. That's not how that stuff works." He explained.

That made me feel better, but I still had so many questions. "Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked willing to do anything to fix things.

He chuckled holding me close. "I want you to be you, A, like you have been. To be honest, I don't really know how to adult properly either and when I said what I said I didn't realize you'd take it so seriously." He said sighing. "Then again, I forget who I'm dealing with sometimes."

That made me laugh as I wrapped my arms around him. It was a mystery how he did it, but he always found ways to make me smile. Even if we were in a fight, he just had the ability to make me smile. Like a kid in a candy shop, I was giddy, and I felt this warmness in my chest. The fact that he knows me so well but knows so little of me really amazed me. His reading of people was great in a sense that he always knew what to say.

Stroking my hair, there was this sense of sadness that came over him. "A, please don't make me out to be perfect because I'm not." His gentle side came back out. "There's things I'm scared of too. Like I'm scared of my whole family business. I'm scared I'll fail at being what my father is and what my mom wants me to be." He shared some feelings with me leaving me shocked.

We had never connected like this before and now we were sharing our thoughts little by little. It was nice being able to see each other in our most vulnerable state. It was going to bring our relationship to new depths that I wasn't even expecting. This was Cyrus and it was what I've been waiting to see.

I placed my hand on his cheek this time smiling warmly at him. "I believe in you Cyrus and you should believe in you too." I say with so much joy in my heart. "Because even though you said not to make you out to be perfect you still are. You're perfect to me."

He stared at me like he just saw a ghost but there wasn't any fear in his eyes. Just pure adoration as he listened to what I just said to him. All I could do was smile and wait for his response. I didn't know what he was going to say but I knew how he felt. Because he was feeling what I was feeling. Like we've finally found someone who gets us. We get each other.

Laughing, his hands grabbed my waist as he pulled me back into him, crashing his lips against mine. This kiss was different feeling me with so many emotions. Again, I wasn't going to acknowledge what I was really feeling because I wasn't ready for that. But I will say, I was happy, and I can tell he was too. The way he moved his hand up my neck to my cheek told me everything I needed to know. That was what he did every time to show me his affection. Even though he was kissing me with so much passion, he still needs to show me more. He wasn't always good with words, but he made up for it in his actions. He was perfect.

Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead on mine. "Just because we have a petty fight doesn't mean I want to stop what we have." He grabbed my hands smiling. "Truth is, I won't be able to get this with anyone else. I told you, I won't be able to leave you alone no matter how much you want to fight this."

I shake my head squeezing his hands tightly. "I don't want to fight it. Tonight, I'm embracing it. From here on out." I was more so saying it to myself than anything else.

He chuckled rolling his head back. "What am I going to do with you?" He asked with a sigh of relief.

I giggled. "Stay by me because there's so many other things, I haven't told you that I want to one day." I say happy keep sharing part of me with him.

It wasn't guaranteed, but I felt a lot more confident about my place in this competition now. The outcome was oddly in my favor, and I had no doubt anymore that I was winning this thing. Unfortunately for the other girls but fortunate for me, nonetheless. However, I was going to enjoy his shower because I loved that thing. Plus, he took one without me and he needs to make up for that.

I kissed his cheek and dragged him to the bathroom with me. He smirked, getting at what I was hinting.

"I already showered, missy." He said as I turned on the water.

I began to strip my clothes as he watched me biting his lip in the process. "Oh, well I guess you're just going to have to take one again."