Afraid To Trust Him
Giselda
I nervously walked off the plane, wiping my face. I had spent the entire flight crying which led me to telling Milton to just meet me at the hotel that I would be staying at in a few hours because I wanted to calm down before I saw him. The whole conversation with Annie had shattered my heart. I thought she would be angry at me because I had been a threat to her relationship with Gerry, but she wasn’t. She had blamed herself for getting in the middle of my mate bond with him. She was a better friend than I deserved, and I felt guilty over the few accusatory, angry thoughts I had about her in the past. It wasn’t her fault that he chose her. Hell, if I had been him, I would have chosen her too. She was just that pure and good.
I gave the hotel’s front desk personnel a small smile as she greeted me, shifting my weekend bag to my other shoulder. In no time, I was in my room, stripping my clothes off to get into the shower. I turned the water on hell before stepping in to let my body adjust to the heat as it warmed up. It was the first time I was coming to Realm. Well, sort of coming to Realm. Corey had refused to let me enter the sleuth grounds, which meant that Milton and I had to be together off of sleuth territory. Not that it made me feel bad. I understood why I wasn’t allowed on the grounds. I was pretty sure that Corey knew I was Gerry’s fated mate and he wouldn’t want me messing with the Realm’s future gamma while the fact that I turned my back on the future beta leading to his death hung between us.
“Fucking stupid alpha males,” I mumbled.
I tipped my head back, closing my eyes as I tried to focus on something other than the shit show my life had become in the last two weeks. I sighed as I leaned my head forward to lean against the cool tile in the shower. I hated the way things were going. I just wanted to run away, but the Bruin blood running through my veins kept me fighting for Havana, Logan, and Annie. I exhaled deeply before reaching for the shampoo, freezing when I heard someone messing with the door to my hotel room. My head whipped around to look at the bathroom door before I leaned down to grab a dagger out of my pants pocket, pushing the shower curtain open to be able to see the door to the room. The door stopped rattling, and I inhaled deeply, relaxing when I smelled a familiar scent.
“Giselda,” he called softly. “I’m coming in. Please don’t stab me.”
I kept the dagger in my hand until he had slipped inside the room and closed the door behind himself. I let the dagger fall from my hand back to the floor as he walked into the bathroom to lean against the wall. I raised my eyebrow at him.
“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to join me?” I asked him seductively.
His eyes widened. “You want me to join you?” He repeated back to me, shocked.
I nodded. “We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks but we have never been together naked. Don’t you think it’s time that we start moving toward being with each other fully if we are going to be chosen mates?”
He straightened up immediately. “Giselda, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I denied as I let the curtain fall back into place, effectively hiding my face.
He sighed. “I may not have known you for very long, but I know when something is bothering you.”
I squirted some shampoo into my hand before lathering it into my hair. “I got into an argument with Annie,” I admitted.
“Over what?”
“Gerry,” I whispered as my head dropped.
When the shower curtain was pulled back, I lifted my head to look at him. He took me in his arms, pulling me tightly against his chest. I turned around to wrap my arms around his waist, nuzzling into his chest. I knew that he was trying to comfort me, and it helped a little, which gave me hope that our relationship might just actually work. After a few moments, I pulled back to rinse my hair before letting my eyes wander over his naked body, taking in every inch of his skin while he stood waiting patiently for me to finish.
“Do you like what you see?” He asked.
I slowly let my eyes meet his. “Do you?”
He nodded. “Very much so. I always thought you were gorgeous.”
“I think you are very handsome,” I told him.
He grinned at me. “Thanks, beautiful. Is there something you want to do this weekend?”
I lowered my eyes again, worried about telling him my goals for this weekend. He gripped my face to turn it up.
“Talk to me, Giselda. What do you want to do this weekend?” He repeated.
“I want to explore our relationship. I want to know if this can work out long term.” I fell silent to gather my thoughts again before continuing. “I want to know if we could truly be happy without our fated mates.”
He searched my face before removing his hand from my chin. “Are you having doubts?” He asked quietly.
“No! Yes. I don’t know. I just don’t want you to regret settling for me,” I told him.
“I would never regret ‘settling’ for you.”
“How can you be so sure?” I inquired.
“Because I am not ‘settling’ for you. I am choosing you because I want you. There is a huge difference,” he said. “We haven’t made love. We have touched, yes, but we haven’t taken the step to mate. We have already been through hell having to hide our relationship because of Gerry, but I have chosen to stick around,” he murmured, backing me up to the wall before placing both of his hands on the tile beside my head. “I chose to love you through all of that. I’m not going to just give you up because you’re not my fated mate. I’m not even looking for her. I just want you, Giselda. Why do you keep refusing to accept that?”
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