Not That! Never That!

Logan

My head whipped around when I heard Annie talking softly in our bedroom. Osprey smirked at me while I tried to focus on what was being said, but it was too quiet to make out and Annie, along with Giselda, had locked me out of our links. I sat back in my seat, huffing with frustration before sitting back up as Osprey’s face grew progressively sadder.

“What is it? What do you know?” I asked.

He shook his head as a tear hovered on his eyelashes. He reached up to wipe it off before it fell. “It’s nothing. Annie will tell you when she’s ready. Until then, don’t push it. She’s already struggling with everything and is trying to understand why the boy she loved growing up is no longer the boy she loved. She’s trying to understand why her person from birth would hurt her the way he did, and now she doesn’t even know what exactly he did to her.”

I sighed as I nodded. “Alright. I am just worried.”

“I know. While the women are talking, I wanted to say one last thing before I left,” he told me as he sat up straighter. “I know that we have a lot of bears already on our land, but if you ever wanted to leave Havana temporarily, you and your sleuth are welcome to join us. We will protect you.”

“I appreciate it but I won’t make a decision like that without my alpha sow and beta being involved in the conversation. We are a team and I value their opinions. We will always make decisions together. Especially when it comes to our sleuth,” I said. “I will speak to them.”

“Do it soon,” he encouraged.

“I will. I promise. I just want to make sure Annie is okay, first.”

“I’m alright, Logan,” Annie said softly from the doorway. “And I think Osprey is right. We should take our members to Havana. They will be safer there. Either that or…”

I eyed her worriedly. “Either that or what?” I inquired anxiously.

“Either that or I leave,” she whispered.

I jumped to my feet before rushing around the desk to reach for her. She took a step back to avoid my touch as she met my eyes.

“Don’t you see? He’s only doing this because I chose you. Maybe if I left, and found him, maybe I can get him to listen to me,” she whispered, pressing her hand into her stomach. “Maybe I can get him to stop all of this. Maybe–” She took a deep breath– “Maybe I can kill him and save all of us from his rage.”

My hand shot out to cup her face so fast that she didn’t have time to avoid my touch again. I used my grip on her cheek and jaw to pull her into me before gripping her face in both of my hands, instantly placing my forehead against hers.

“No, Annie! If you want to send Havana to your birth sleuth so they can be protected, we can do that. If you want to hunt him down and be the one that kills him, we can do that too, but you will not, and I do mean WILL NOT, leave the safety of Havana or me by yourself! I can’t protect you if I’m not with you, Annie! I would do anything you ask me for, but I won’t fucking do that! You do not step outside of our gates without me! Or without Giselda! Take it or leave it, Annie, because if you even try, I will tie you up in chains so thick and heavy they will crush you under their weight! This is non-negotiable! You do not get to be alone! You have to stay beside me!”

“Do you understand what it means if I stay?” She asked with her voice full of defeat.

“I do. It means that we are together. We handle this together. Like husband and wife. Like alpha and alpha sow. Like mates,” I murmured.

“No, it means that he will come here to get me. It means that he will destroy Havana.” She ran her fingers through my hair. “It means that he will try to hurt you. Or worse. That he will try to kill you.” She lowered her eyes to the floor. “And he will succeed, Logan,” she cried as her hands shifted to mirror mine on my face.

“The Goddess showed me that you, Giselda, and I all die. If I have the chance to change your future, I want to. I can’t change Giselda’s. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to live anymore. Not for Havana. Not for me. And not for you. She is choosing to die on her own terms, and I know you will respect that.” She paused as sadness filled her eyes, making me instantly know that she was overcome with emotions. “I bet you have even thought about how you would do it.” She lowered her hands from my face. “Would you do it fast so she could see Milton again?  Or would you do it slowly and painfully because pain is the only thing she wants to feel?”

“Annie, please, I don’t want to answer that. I–”

“TELL ME! WOULD YOU HONOR HER WISH TO DIE QUICKLY OR SLOWLY?!” She screamed, pushing on my chest.

When I didn’t budge she began to pound her fist on my chest, screaming, “tell me! What would you do?,” over and over again. I caught her wrists to pull her against my body, keeping them tightly in my grip.

“You want to know?” I hissed, uttering a low growl when she nodded. I used my grip on her wrists to back her up against the wall, pinning her body between me and the wall with her wrists above her head. “I would snap her neck because that would be the quickest way to get her back to Milton. And then I would remove her head from her shoulders just so Angel didn’t heal them and bring her back to life.” I punched the wall beside her head. “BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT BEING A BRUIN MEANS! THEY ARE HARD TO KILL! THEY ARE PRACTICALLY IMMORTAL! ONLY A BRUIN CAN KILL ANOTHER BRUIN!”

She trembled, making me instantly regret my angry words as she tugged at her wrists. I let her go and she slowly sank to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs.

“If you honor her wish to die on her own terms, why can’t you honor mine?” She asked sadly. “Why can’t you see that this is the only way to save Havana? This is the only way to save you. I am going to die, Logan. Giselda is going to die. You’re going to make sure of it. If you die too, who’s going to raise our daughter? She deserves to have one of her parents raising her. And as much as I want it to be me, it won’t be me. And if it can’t be me, then it should be you. I want it to be you.”

I knelt in front of her, placing my hand on hers. “Let me make it very clear to you, Annie. If I have to lose you to save Havana, then I don’t want to be alpha. If you want to run, we will run, but we will do it together. I don’t want to be alpha if you are not my alpha sow. If you try to leave me, I will reject Havana. I will not be their alpha anymore, so your leaving will be irrelevant. And as for our daughter, I can’t raise her alone. She needs you, and I need you. If we are going to change our future, then we are doing it together.” I picked her hand up to put it over my heart. “That’s the only way we win, Annie. Together.”

“And if we die?” She asked softly, her eyes roaming over my face.

I shifted on the floor in front of her to pull her onto my lap, instantly wrapping my arms around her waist to cradle her against my chest. “Then we die, Annie. When I met you and accepted you, I knew that I was in this until death.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “And not til do us part, because not even in death will I let you go. If I die before you, then I will be waiting at the Goddess’ side to welcome you into Her kingdom. And if you die before I do, then the moment I step foot in Her kingdom, and if you are not there at her side, waiting for me, I will come and find you. There is nothing that means more to me than you, Annie. Life or death, nothing will stop me from loving and wanting you.”

She reached up to lay her fingertips on my jaw. “Do you promise?”

“I do,” I told her before sighing. “We can figure out how to move our sleuth in a little bit, Annie. I just want to hold you for a bit, alright?”

She nodded. “One hour, Logan. If we’re going to do this together, then we have to take it seriously. I-I don’t want anyone to die because of me.”

I cupped her face before lowering my lips to hers. “We’ll make sure of it, baby. We’ll get our sleuth out of harm’s way, and then we will join Osprey on the hunt. How does that sound?”

She nodded as she kissed me softly. “Yes, I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

I carefully stood up, not willing to let her go again, not even long enough to stand up. I turned to face Osprey.

“Will you be here in an hour? I really do just want to spend some time alone with Annie for a little bit,” I told him.

He raised an eyebrow at me before his eyes slid to Scarlett, who immediately flushed. “Yeah. I’m sure I can find something to do.”

“Yeah, you’re right!” I said, quickly deciding on a way to make Giselda feel less like an unwanted wheel. “Giselda will find you something with Gerald’s new scent on it.”

“What–oh, yes. That would be very helpful. Thank you, Giselda,” Osprey said, catching onto what I was hinting at instantly.

Giselda put her hand on my arm, smiling sadly at me. “It’s okay, cousin. You don’t have to protect my feelings. Let Alpha Osprey and Alpha Sow Scarlett mate. They shouldn’t have to change the way they are with each other because I lost my mate.” She turned to look at them. “I appreciate you trying to spare my feelings, but I will be with Milton soon. Enjoy your time together. I will find a few things with his scent on it and have it ready when we reconvene in an hour.”

“Thank you, Giselda,” Scarlett said as she put her hand on Giselda’s arm, and my eyes fluttered close at the strength of the peace that was easily felt on the air Scarlett pushed into Giselda.

“It’s my pleasure, Alpha Sow Scarlett. If you would excuse me, I will go gather some things for you.”

Giselda stopped next to me to hug Annie. “I love you, Annie. Please, don’t give up. We can figure this out. Giving up just gives Gerald what he wants. You suffering at his hands. Don’t give up your mate just because you are scared. Continue to love him the way you have and he doesn’t win. He’s already destroyed me, Annie. Don’t let him destroy you too.”

Annie reached up to wipe a tear off Giselda’s face. “He didn’t destroy you, GIselda. He brought you and Milton together. If it wasn’t Gerald, you would never have met Milton. He didn’t break you, Giselda. He gave you everything, even if it wasn’t the way you dreamed it would be.”

Giselda smiled softly at her as she brought Annie’s hand to her cheek. “Such an alpha sow,” she teased, before walking off toward her room.

Annie wrapped her arm around my neck, burying her face in my chest. “We have one hour, Logan. Let’s not waste it.”