Placing Blame

Giselda
Gerald crossed the room slowly, keeping his eyes on me. I flinched when he reached out to touch my cheek. His hand fisted before it dropped away from my face.
“Giselda, baby, I love you. I couldn’t just let you die,” he murmured softly.
“So, what I wanted didn’t matter, right? Just what you wanted. That’s all that has ever mattered to you. You and Annie. Fuck me!” I sneered. “I wanted to die! I wanted to be with Milton! I still do!”
He reached for me again and I scrambled backward. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” I screamed. “YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME DIE! YOU ONLY KEPT ALIVE BECAUSE YOU ARE SELFISH! YOU ARE AN SSHOLE! I HATE YOU!”
His muscle ticked in his jaw. “Giselda, you are just hurt right now! You don’t really mean anything that you’re saying right now! You’ll see, baby. Give it a few days and you’ll feel better.”
I jumped up off the bed. “Feel better? Are you serious? I lost my mate! It’s not like I lost a dollar or my cat ran away! I LOST MY FUCKING MATE!” I stomped over to him to shove him backward. “He should have been my fated mate! Not you! NOT YOU! HE DESERVED ME! AND I WANTED TO GIVE HIM EVERYTHING! AND YOU TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU DID IT, BUT I KNOW YOU DID!” I yelled as tears coursed down my fase. “I HATE YOU!”
He reached out to grab me, instantly pulling me against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. “I know, baby. I know you hate me. And I deserve your hatred. I will have to live with the fact that I did everything I could do to make you hate me, but I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to give you every reason to love me. I wish Annie hadn’t left. I wish I had tried harder to tell you what Ryan asked me to do. I wish I had killed him. I wish–I wish that I had been smarter. He told me that he wanted you and Annie out of the picture. He wanted to hurt you. He wanted to kill Annie. He wanted to be alpha. I wish Annie was here so I could have told her. I am so sorry, Giselda. I failed you, and I can understand why you want to hate me for the rest of your life, but please, know that I meant it when I said I would walk away from you.” He stopped talking to a deep breath. “I was walking away from you, even though it was killing me.”
I pulled away from him to glare at him. “ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BLAMING RYAN FOR THE ATTACK?! YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!”
He shook his head sadly. “No, Giselda, it wasn’t. I love you. I wouldn’t have hurt you like that. Not again.”
A knock on the door cut off my angry response. “Come in,” I called out, still glaring at Gerry.
Dr. Reyes opened the door, eyeing me curiously. “Beta Giselda, you’re awake.”
I folded me arms across my chest. “Sadly.”
Gerry sighed, reaching for me again. “Giselda–”
I pushed his hands away from me. “Doctor Reyes!”
He slowly approached me. “May I check you out, Beta Giselda?”
“Yeah. Whatever, fine.”
I stomped back over to the bed to sit down. He walked over to me to take my wrist in his hand as he opened our link.
‘May I speak freely, Beta Giselda?’ He asked.
‘I guess,’ I answered.
‘I do not trust this boy. After you passed out, he attacked Ryan. He was saying that the attack was Ryan’s fault and that he deserved to die.’
I eyed him curiously. ‘And you didn’t believe him?’
‘Not at all.’
‘Why not?’
‘Becuase there was a weird look in his eyes,’ he told me.
‘What kind of look?’ I inquired.
‘It was like he was smirking with his eyes. I have never seen such evil enjoyment in someone’s eyes when they looked at another person. It frightened me. So, when we got here, I took Ryan to the dungeon and helped him save you.’ He started mioving his hands over my body, earning warning growls from Gerald. ‘I know that you didn’t want to be saved, but if I didn’t he would have hurt our sleuth. Alpha Logan is not here to protect us. I promise you that when ALpha Logan and Alpha Sow get home, if you still want to die, I will assist you. I am so sorry for keeping you alive. I should have never made that choice for you. I hope that one day, you can forgive me for taking away your right to die.’
‘It’s okay, Reyes. As much as I hate it, you made the right decision. Gerald is dangerous, and he would have destroyed Havana,’ I told him softly.
When he was done checking me out, he stepped back. “How are you feeling, Beta Giselda?”
“I’m okay. I’m sad,” I admitted.
He gave me a sad smile. “I know. If you want, I can prescribe you some antidepressants to help you.”
“No. I want to feel empty. I want to feel every single last pang of loss. I want to be remember the man that I loved. He deserves that.”
Dr. Reyes nodded. “I understand. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
I sighed before putting my hand on his arm. “I will. Thank you for saving me, Dr. Reyes.”
He patted my hand. “It was my pleasure, Beta Giselda. If you need anything, I am right downstairs.”
“Thank you.”
He paused beside Gerald. “Goodnight.”
Gerald nodded at him. “Goodnight. Thank you.”
He walked out, leaving me alone with Gerald again who had his eyes narrowed on me. “You thank him but hate me and we did the same thing!”
I glared at him. “Because he saved me out of loyalty and duty. You saved me because you are a selfish dick.” I stormed past him on my way out of the room. “Stay here. I need to think for a while.”
“But I want to be with you–”
I rolled my eyes. “I want to think without you, Gerald.”
“But–”
I spun around to push him away from me again. “IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO BE WITH ME, THEN YOU NEED TO RESPECT WHAT I WANT! AND RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO BE AWAY FROM YOU! SO FUCKING STAY HERE!”
He sighed as he put his hands in his pockets. “Alright.”
I turned back around to storm out of the room. I hurried down to the dungeon, following Ryan’s scent to the furthest cell. I stopped in front of the door to the cell to watch him for a moment as he paced back and forth like a caged animal, which admittedly was exactly what he was. I cleared my throat, and he immediately stopped to look at me.
“Beta Giselda,” he greeted me.
I opened the door to the cell before walking in, leaving the door open behind me. I moved across the cell to lean against the stone wall with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Why are you in the dungeon, Ryan?”
“I was attacked by your mate, and–”
“Why did he attack you?” I asked, cutting him off.
He heaved a defeated sigh. “He was angry because I hired the feral bears to attack our warriors.”
I straightened up, eyeing him angrily. “You did what?”
He sank to his knees before crawling over to me to grip my leg. “Please, Beta Giselda, I am so sorry. I just didn’t think Logan should be our alpha. And–”
“And? There is no and. You took my mate away from me and for that the punishment is death. And not just your death,” I spat as I kicked him away from me.
“W-what do you mean?” He whispered.
“I mean that your mate is the one who will be punished. When Alpha Logan gets back from where he is, I will bring your wife down here and I will find some feral bears. I will let them have their way with her before I allow them to kill her. And then, I will make you live out the rest of your life here in the dungeons, under Dr. Reyes’ care so that your life is prolonged. I will make sure that you suffer. Like I did. You deserve nothing less.”
He grabbed my leg again. “Please, Beta Giselda. We have a child. What about Charlize? Please, have mercy. Let Marigold lie so that she can take care of our daughter.”
“No! She will die and so will you. Charlize will go to the Havana Orphanage. Where all of the other orphans go. At least she will be allowed to live. That is the only mercy that I will show.”
I stepped on him as I walked out of the cell, not caring in the slightest that the bones in his hand broke. I shut and locked the door behind me before going back up to my room where Gerald was laying on the bed, waiting for me. He eyed me seemingly nervously as he sat up.
“Giselda–”
“Shut up, Gerald. I don’t know how you did it, but Ryan corroborated your story. But just so you are clear, I do not believe a damn word that you say. I am only allowing you to stay here because I fully believe in keeping my enemies closer, and you, Gerald, are not just my enemy. You are my nemesis. The villain in my story, one who has no chance of being redeemed.” I narrowed my eyes on him as tears crept up in my eyes again. “I hate you, Gerald. Like I really really hate you. I will never think of you as my mate again. I will never tell you that I love you. I will never have sex with you again. I will never sleep beside you, and more than that, I will never call you anything other than Gerald. I won’t call you baby, handsome, my love, or Gerry. You will never hear a pleasant word fall from my lips. Not where you are concerned.”
“Giselda,” he murmured as he stood up. “Please, don’t be like that. I just want a chance to show you. I want to–”
“And I want Milton. Even in death, I want him. You either take it or leave it. That’s what I’m offering you. That’s where I am with this whole thing. So, what’s it going to be?” I asked.
He reached for me, and I took a step back, letting his fingers barely even graze my hand. He clenched his hand tightly.
“I want to be with you, Giselda. If this is how I have to earn your trust, then this is what I’m going to do. One day you will understand how much I love you, and you will understand that I only want you.”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “Yeah, you only want me. I totally believe that,” I scoffed.
“Giselda, baby, please–”
I moved past him to grab a pillow and a blanket off the bed before going to the couch to make a bed on it. I laid down, wrapped myself up tightly in the blankets before facing the back of the couch. Anyone who knew me and Gerald would probably think I was crazy to leave myself exposed the way I was, but I didn’t care. If he snapped and decided to hurt me or kill me, I would accept it gratefully. It would just send me home to the Goddess, where my mate was waiting for me. And if it meant that I got to see him again, I would put myself at risk. I should have already been there with him. And for that I would never forgive Gerald. Not even if I was wrong and he had really changed. I didn’t care. Because of him I lost everything that mattered to me. And I would forever hate him. I closed my eyes.
“Go to bed, Gerald. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow.” I paused as doubt filled my head. “You will be by my side all day. Congra-fucking-lations. You’re now the beta boar, and I will be damned if you don’t act like it.”