Chapter 188
Sebastian chuckled, brushing a stray strand of hair from Zeno's face. "Of course, it does. You kept up with me, baby girl. You were quite needy," His voice was teasing, but there was warmth behind it, smug satisfaction in knowing Zeno hadn't pushed him away this time...yet.
Zeno groaned and buried his face in Sebastian's chest, "You're insufferable." His voice was muffled, but Sebastian could feel the heat of his breath against his skin.
"And yet, here you are, in my arms," Sebastian murmured, running his fingers lazily down Zeno's back.
Zeno didn't respond immediately, his mind still groggy from sleep and everything that had happened between them. He knew he should be overanalyzing, questioning, and pushing Sebastian far away from him, but right now, he just felt... tired. Safe. And maybe a little too comfortable.
That comfort he was feeling in Sebastian's arms was disturbing to him, but he liked it.
Sebastian's hand trailed lower, fingers brushing over the marks he had left on Zeno's body the night before. "I should draw the curtains," he mused. "You need more rest."
Zeno peeked up at him, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. "No... I need answers, Sebastian," His fingers traced the sides of Sebastian's cheek, his eyes raw with emotions, "If I leave this bed, am I leaving for good? Or do I dare dream of what could be? I'm not going to blame you for last night, you helped me, saved me -"
"So you do prefer me to Leon?" Sebastian asked, a small smile appearing on his lips.
Zeno sighed, removing his hand from Sebastian's face, and looked away from him, "I would always prefer you to everyone, Seb. But, that's not my point, I'm just trying to know if I've let myself acquire another emotional baggage that's going to take me years to heal, I'm not totally healed, Sebastian, you know this, you know you hurt me so much, more than anything or anyone has ever done. I... I love you, Sebastian, but trust me, I'd walk away from a love that only has pain to offer, my mental health is more important than anything else," He paused and looked back at Sebastian's eyes, "I can't love someone who doesn't meet me halfway, Seb, I need to know you're down for me, just the way I am for you, so, please, I need to hear the truth, I don't care if it hurts, just let me know. I'll be fine," Zeno sniffed, burying his face in Sebastian's neck.
Sebastian hugged Zeno to himself, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "Please, don't cry; I'm already guilty for doing what I did to you; your tears hurt more than you can understand, Zeno," He kissed the top of Zeno's head.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, Zeno; I know no words can heal what you've been through; hell, I don't even deserve your forgiveness; I just want to make sure you're okay, Zeno. After hearing what I have to say and you chose to turn your back on me, I wouldn't stop you. I don't know what I'd do, I know I can't live without and I can't promise to let you go, Zeno. I'll give you some space, but I'm going to keep begging and begging until you forgive me, Zeno; there's no one else for me but you," He gently raised Zeno's face to kiss him, but Zeno moved his face to the side, avoiding his kiss.
"Then let's hear it, Sebastian..." Zeno wiped his eyes and rolled away from Sebastian, propping himself on his elbow.
Sebastian watched Zeno silently, his heart racing; he was anxious and scared, his thoughts all going to what he'd do if Zeno chose to walk away from him at the end of their little talk.
"Can I at least hold you while we talk?" Sebastian moved to hold Zeno but Zeno shook his head.
"No, stay over there, Sebastian. I need to be able to think, laying naked in your bed is already bad enough for my judgment, I don't even know why I bother, maybe I should just get up and leave, you clearly made your choice a long time ago, I'm just a naive guy trying to grasp onto what was, Sebastian. Maybe I don't want to hear your answers, something tells me I'm going to get hurt again, and it's going to hurt more this time," Zeno smiled sadly to himself, pushing away the cover from his body.
"No, no, please, don't leave," Sebastian hurried to hold Zeno's arm, stopping him from lifting himself off the bed.
Zeno fell back tiredly on the pillow, "Okay. Question one, are you really engaged to Sakura?" He asked.
Zeno knew that this might just be the only question he'd get to ask because if Sebastian agreed to actually being engaged to Sakura, then he needed to back off.
An engagement that has lasted up to a year isn't a flimsy or undecided arrangement; it was intentional, and the couples must have formed a great bond between them. He was just acting as a third wheel, a marriage and home wrecker.
Sebastian took a deep breath and held the side of Zeno's face, "Zeno -"
"Answer me, Sebastian," Zeno said seriously, frowning.
Sebastian clenched his jaws and sighed, "Yes, Zeno, I'm engaged to Sakura," He replied in a low voice, a deep reluctance lacing his tone.
Zeno gave out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head in a deprecating manner. "Okay, Sebastian... I understand, I'll just fix my clothes and be gone. Please do not try to find me again... I'm tired," He smiled at Sebastian but it didn't reach his eyes.
Sebastian looked alarmed, he didn't even let Zeno move before he wrapped his arms around him, "Listen to me, Zeno, I -"
"You have a call; it might be your fiancée. Don't keep the poor woman waiting; I already feel bad for having sex with you," He slid his hand into Sebastian's pocket and took out his phone, smiling sadly when he saw the caller ID.
"Just like I said," He answered the call the threw the phone at Sebastian.
"Hi, baby?" Sakura's voice called from the phone.
Zeno's heart broke all over again, 'Fuck me, that's what I get for being stupid, again,' he scoffed and left the bed, taking the sheets with him.
Sebastian sighed and picked up his phone.
"Hello? Can you hear me, baby?" Sakura asked again.
Sebastian's eyes followed Zeno as he walked into the bathroom.
'Out of all times to call, Sakura,' Sebastian clenched his fists.
"Hey, baby, I can hear you, everything alright?" He asked in a gentle voice.
"Yeah, we were just missing Daddy and wanted to hear your voice; how's the business going? Concluded yet?" She asked.
Sebastian rubbed his face, sighing, "It's almost concluded, Baby, just a few more weeks or a month," He replied.
"Oh, okay, maybe we can come over and keep you company, what do you think?" She questioned.
Sebastian was quiet, he stared at the bathroom door and felt his heart skip a beat; he wished he could just set things straight before everything went out of hand, and if Sakura came to Paris, he might never get the chance to reconcile with Zeno anymore.
Zeno would never listen to him if he saw Sakura beside him.
"Okay, I'll book you guys a flight, I've missed you," Sebastian said to Sakura.
Sakura giggled, "I know, baby, that's why I'm coming to you," She chuckled.
"I'll talk to you later, bye," He raked his fingers through his hair.
"Goodbye, Sebastian, love you," The sound of a short kiss was heard on her end of the phone before the call ended.
Sebastian fell back on the bed, mortified as his eyes stared at the bathroom.
He knew Zeno heard every single word of his call with Sakura. His enthusiasm for talking with him must have reduced to zero.
He was cooked.
It was going to be very hard to come out of this messy situation he'd put himself into.
He got out of bed and contemplated on either leaving the room to give Zeno some space or going right in there to try and talk with him.
He decided to leave the room; Zeno wasn't in the mood for some shower seduction; he was drugged this time, and his mind and heart were sharp and active. He was hurting, the last thing he wanted from Sebastian at that moment was his dick.
Sebastian went to his wardrobe and brought out a pair of clothes for Zeno, dropping them on the bed before he quietly left the room, hoping Zeno would at least listen to him after his shower.
He didn't go down to his living room, he walked the long way over to the other wing of the house, heading straight to Ken's room.
He gently opened the door and walked into Ken's room.
"Is Zeno awake?" Ken asked excitedly, dropping the book he was reading on his table.
"Yes," He replied, standing beside his door.
Ken jumped down from his chair, "Good, let's go see him," He smiled, running over to his wardrobe to take out a shopping bag from it.
"Here, I've been waiting all day to show him what I got for him," Ken ran over to his father.
"He'd love it," Sebastian replied and lowered himself in front of Ken.
"Then let's go," Ken was about to leave his room but Sebastian held him back.
"Wait," Sebastian lifted Ken in his arms.
"What now, Daddy?" Ken frowned.
Sebastian smiled. "You want Zeno back, right?" He asked.
Ken nodded, "Of course, do you have to ask?" He rolled his eyes.
"Okay, little king. But, I don't think your wish is going to come true... Zeno doesn't want your daddy anymore; he wants to leave, to leave us, can you help me talk to him? I mean, you're also doing it for yourself, if he stays, he becomes your second Dad, just as you've always wanted. Just make him understand that we need him, deal?" Sebastian raised a brow at his son.
Ken blinked slowly, "He'll become my second Dad? Promise? No more Sakura?" Ken questioned.
"No more Sakura, I promise," Sebastian agreed.
"Great, she's so boring," Ken wriggled down Sebastian's arms and ran out of his room, heading right towards Sebastian's room.
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