Chapter 212
Ida was sitting between Thomas and Andre in the showroom; both guys seemed to be lost in their world.
Thomas was busy texting his boyfriend, Will, Anna's brother, and Andre was busy playing games on his phone; the poor guy didn't have a single romantic bone in his body.
Ida sat quietly, observing everyone, or rather, observing Cody.
"Som just called, he'll be here in a minute," Ida heard Jeremiah say by a corner.
"Yeah, bro," Thomas replied, absent-minded.
Ida felt lost amidst the chattering around him, everyone was happy, and excited. He was excited for Zeno and Sebastian too, but personally, he wasn't happy with himself.
He felt so empty, so drained. He and Cody had worked for Sebastian for over five years, and before becoming lovers, they were first best friends. He'd never gone this long without interacting with Cody as he should __ no inside jokes, no play, no shared glances, no kisses, and no hugs __ The warmth was gone between them and now replaced by a cold, dead, and awkward silence.
He watched Cody longingly as he gave what used to be his smile to someone else.
Truly, being friends sucked.
Would Cody even be willing to let him in again after he had brutally stated that they could only be friends or nothing?
He stood from the couch and walked over to Cody, maybe he could still hold a normal conversation with him.
Cody was standing with Pole beisde the glass wall when he felt someone come up behind him; he didn't need to turn before he could tell who it was; he'd know Ida's scent even in his sleep.
"Hi," Ida greeted casually, walking over to stand in front of Cody.
"Hey," Cody replied, smiling politely.
"Hey, man, feeling bored too?" Pole questioned, folding his arms on his chest.
Ida fixed his hands inside his pocket, a habit he did when he was getting irritated by something, or in this case, someone.
Cody noticed it and shook his head slightly, holding in his chuckle. Ida was acting strange; he wished he could call it jealousy, but he dared not; he had been clearly informed about their status.
"I'm not bored, Pole..." Ida's eyes found Cody's, "I just wanted to talk with my friend... my best friend," He replied.
"Oh? I never knew you guys were best of friends, thought it was just friends," Pole said, no malice detected.
He was the last person to join the gang so he missed a lot of story between Ida and Cody; he only got to know them after their first breakup.
"We are..." Ida stared at Cody.
Cody slowly looked away; that title was no longer soothing for him; it hurt him deeply.
How could one go from being one's lover to just best friends? It was insane.
He suddenly felt annoyed, "Can I talk to you for a moment?" Cody said to Ida.
"Sure," Ida's heart surged with happiness as he followed Cody to the other side of the room.
They paused behind a clothes rack and Ida faced Cody with a smile, "I hope I didn't make you awkward. I know you asked to switch because you didn't want to be seen with me, but I just wanted to say hi," He explained.
Cody shut his eyes and took a deep breath; slowly, he stared up at Ida.
"Ida," He called quietly.
"Yes?" Ida stopped smiling, sensing Cody's switch in emotions.
"I can't do this with you, Ida... staying friends," Cody sighed, "It's all too exhausting to keep up with. When I love, I love with everything I've got, but if my love is refused, I'd withdraw it completely. I want to withdraw my love completely, Ida," Cody said, biting his lips.
Ida's heart sank, he had thought this conversation would push something between them but it seemed to be the conversation that would finally tear them apart
"What do you mean, Cody?" Ida questioned calmly, but within him was a storm of emotions.
"I can't stay friends with you anymore, Ida. If it's over, then it needs to be over completely. I don't know about you, but I can't do it; I just can't," Cody pushed one of his hands into his pocket, a habit he had learned from Ida.
"You can't be friends with me? Why? I'm not even allowed to be a part of your life anymore? We were friends before all this, Cody," Ida reached out to hold Cody but Cody stepped away from his touch.
"You don't understand, Ida. Yes, we were friends before because we had never kissed each other, never got intimate, never cuddled, never said those three fucking words to each other. But we've done all those now, everything's changed. I can never pretend to view you as just a friend, I'd be a crazy liar," Cody looked away from Ida, Inhaling deeply.
"Please, let me move on, Ida. Stop trying to be friendly, you're only hurting me. I respected your decision when you rejected me and asked us to stay friends, now, respect mine and stay completely away from me. Let me heal. It's no surprise I'm not over you, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to become your puppet. Maybe we were never meant to be; just let it go, Ida," Cody gently placed his hand on Ida's shoulder.
"Staying friends is already hard enough, getting back in a relationship would be harder," Cody said softly.
He removed his hand, stepping away from Ida.
"So, that's it? No more you and me in every aspect of life?" Ida questioned.
Cody nodded, "We're just co-workers," He murmured.
"We were so good together, Cody," Ida's voice cracked at the end.
"Were, Ida...were. All good things come to an end, and what's broken can't be made whole anymore," He moved and suddenly hugged Ida.
Ida froze, his throat hurting and eyes stinging as he suppressed his tears. He felt it from the hug, this was going to be the last contact he had with Cody.
"We're not friends, we're not enemies; we're just existing in the same place," Cody whispered and finally released Ida's body.
Without staring at Ida's face, he turned and left.
Ida stood there, staring at Cody's back and wishing he had hugged him longer.
Zeno was fucking right; staying friends sucked. Now, he was too late for redemption; he wasn't even a friend anymore; his status could be described as 'air': invisible, unnoticed, ignored.
That was even worse than staying friends. He thought he had felt bad when he was still a friend, right now, he felt lost, devastated, defeated.
There was no longer hope for him.
Maybe, he should plan to resign. There was no way he could ever stick around to watch Cody move on with someone else while he stayed the ignored one. It would break his remaining soul.
"Um, when you're done licking your sore wound, you'll come out here and have your measurement done," Thomas suddenly appeared beside Ida, pushing the clothes rack away to expose Ida.
"Right, you're the first on the list, please come for your measurements, Mr. Ida," Som waved Ida over with his measuring tape around his neck.
Ida pushed away his sadness and nodded; he had to at least try to be cheerful for Zeno's wedding. After that, he'd start to plan on his resignation.
If what is broken couldn't be made whole again, then why were Sebastian and Zeno back together? They were so whole and content than they've ever been, even after they had the worst breakup ever.
Had he missed an important note? Perhaps he did something wrong?
Whatever, he had to accept his fate. He knew the cringe and the hate that came with forcing a past love on your ex; they'd hate you forever.
He'd rather leave when Cody saw him as nothing than when he saw him as annoying and unbearing.
After some time, everyone was done with their measurements and it was time to return.
They all walked toward the SUV, each chatting with someone or on their phone, apart from Ida.
Ida was going as he came, lonely and rejected.
"Aww, look at him, what's going through his mind?" Thomas asked Jeremiah as they entered the car.
Jeremiah watched as Ida went to the last unoccupied seat and sat down, staring out of the window.
"Do you want to know how he feels?" Jeremiah questioned.
Thomas nodded, "Yeah."
Jeremiah leaned in and whispered, "Break up with Will, you'll find out." He smirked at Thomas and left his side.
"Psychopath," Thomas muttered.
Jeremiah found his target and plopped down beside him, "Hello, love, how's the weather?" He asked, leaning his head on the person's shoulder.
Jasper's jaws ticked, "What's up, man? Need something?" He asked, gently shifting away from Jeremiah.
The car was already moving, slightly swaying the passengers.
"Oops!" Jeremiah once again shifted toward Jasper and leaned his head on his shoulder, "Andre is quite a rough driver, he has me fallen on you over and over again," He whispered.
Jasper's face showed his cringe level, he was highly disturbed, "Bro, whatever that was, don't let someone else hear it. It's depressing," He chuckled, shaking his head.
Jeremiah frowned, "Really? You're not entranced by my manly charms?" He sat up, disappointed.
"Nope, just stay in your lane, man. Don't make me shoot you," Jasper sighed, adjusting himself on the seat.
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