Chapter 234

Ida tilted his head to the side and smiled, "Come to you? Nah, I'll pass. The only way I'm not leaving this room is if I'm dead." He smirked and turned away from Cody.

Cody chuckled, "Who said I'm shooting you, Ida? You'd better get a body bag as you step out. You'll be needing it." He said in an unsteady voice.

Ida snapped his head to Cody immediately, his heart falling to his feet as he saw Cody taking the gun away from him and pointing it at his head.

"What the fuck?! Cody, put that fucking gun down. Are you crazy?" Ida spoke calmly, keeping calm eye contact with Cody.

He wasn't calm, Ida's limbs were shaking as if he was the one being pointed a gun at. He needed to find a way to get to Cody and get that gun out of his hand, This was getting out of hand.

"Am I crazy? You called me crazy yourself, right? So, yes, I am," Cody said, his voice bitter.

"Set a foot toward the door and pull the trigger, you can dare me if you want," Cody narrowed his eyes, his chest rising and falling in fear.

He wasn't scared of the gun, he was scared that Ida might actually choose to turn away from him and not care if he shot himself or not.

"Don't be stupid, Cody. You're taking this too far," Ida slowly started to approach Cody, his heart thumping loudly, as he moved, scared that the wrong move or wrong word might trigger Cody.

He paused a few feet away from Cody and slowly took a deep breath, "Cody, put the gun down, I'm ready to truly talk now, okay?" He spoke gently, his voice as calming as ever.

He regretted everything he'd said to Cody, he should have just calmed down and listened to what Cody was saying; Who was he kidding, he did listen to what Cody was saying, this was Cody not accepting their difference of opinion. 

"Cody, come on, what you're doing is no joke, I don't find it funny, please, put the damn gun away, I'm begging you," Ida balled his shaky hands beside him, hoping Cody listens this time.

Cody shook his head, "You don't want me, right? Maybe when I'm dead you can finally be happy, there will be no one to toy with your emotions." He said, staring right at Ida. 

"Don't be ridiculous, Cody. Please, just put your hand down, please..." Ida begged, putting pride and ego away.

He would never forgive himself if Cody hurt himself because of a stupid misunderstanding. 

"Then come to me, Ida," Cody's voice was softer this time, his eyes pleading with Ida.

Ida didn't need to be told twice, "Just that? I'll come to you, Cody. I will..." He cautiously moved toward Cody, his presence steady and assuring.

He reached Cody's front, heart still pounding as Cody still held the gun up. "I'm here, Cody... can you -"

"Kiss me," Cody's request was gentle but firm, his face raised to stare at Ida's, tears brimming in his eyes.

Ida saw Cody's tears and shut his eyes for a second; that was another weakness he had: Cody's tears. 

He knew better than to refuse, he'd be an idiot to refuse. 

He nodded slowly, "I'll kiss you." 

He stepped forward, his hand going under Cody's chin, his lips lowering to his, "I'll kiss you, Cody." He whispered and pressed his lips against Cody's. 

It was the gentlest kiss they've ever shared; Ida was scared that Cody might get the wrong signal and pull the trigger while Cody was scared that Ida might want to fool him like he did earlier.

But as their lips gently collided, their hearts fluttered with warm butterflies and a sweet tingling.

"Kiss me like you mean it or I'll - mmph," Cody was silenced by Ida's lips, more firmly this time.

Ida pulled Cody against him, their bodies colliding with desperate need. He kissed him hard, hungrily, his fingers trembling slightly as he reached up and slowly eased the gun from Cody's grip—never once breaking the kiss.

The weapon dropped onto the bed with a soft thud, forgotten.

Ida's hands slid around Cody's waist, gripping him tighter, like he was afraid to let go. His mouth moved greedily against Cody's, sucking on his bottom lip before his tongue slipped inside, exploring, remembering, needing.

He wasn't ready to face everything—not yet. The pain, the truth, the past. But right now, he needed this—needed Cody—more than his next breath. This kiss was his anchor, his reminder that Cody was still here, his, still real.

And Cody didn't pull away.

He kissed Ida back with the same raw urgency, as if nothing else mattered. Not the gun, not the fear, not the chaos.

Just this. Just them.

Ida suddenly tasted the saltiness of Cody's tears and realised he was still crying. Slowly, he pulled away and hugged Cody to himself, not saying a word.

Cody buried his face in Ida's chest and clung to his shirt, letting his tears fall.

Ida's presence was calming, not imposing in the slightest; he let Cody calm down on his own, never interfering with his meltdown.

Cody sniffled, raising his face to look at Ida, "You hate me so much right now, right?" He asked, his voice cracked and hoarse from crying.

Ida sighed and gently wiped Cody's tears away. "I don't hate you, Cody... I can't." He whispered. 

"Then don't leave, please?" Cody sniffed, his eyes falling on Ida's lips again.

Ida knew it would be foolish to start another argument with Cody, he didn't want another life-threatening episode, and he almost lost his breath from the last one.

"You can sleep with me tonight. We'll talk tomorrow morning, okay?" Ida spoke very softly to Cody.

Cody reluctantly nodded, "Okay." He answered and hugged Ida again.
***
Cross stood by the window, watching as night swallowed the sky. Dark clouds drifted above like a warning to anyone still outside, while waves crashed loudly against the rocks and pounded the shore.

The storm was brewing and it was going to be heavier than the last.

Slowly, he looked down at his hand and stared at the phone he was holding, he pressed the dial and waited, he waited, and waited, but no one answered the call.

He'd called Andre twenty times, and each one ended the same — a single ring, then silence.

Same with his texts; each call was followed up with a short text, and this time was no different.

'Where are you? Can you come back?' He typed and sent it for the last time.

Cross sighed and turned away from the window, feeling so alone. 

He never knew he'd gotten that attached to Andre, the sudden denial of Andre's presence confirmed that Andre had managed to get into his mind without trying hard. 

Cross stared at the bed and shut his eyes, "Maybe I shouldn't have done that to him that night." He murmured, recalling how he had sneakily touched Andre three days ago.

Maybe if he hadn't, Andre would still be here, messing around with him.

'Was he so disgusted by me?' Cross wondered.

He suddenly gasped when the first strike of lightning flashed right through his closed windows, his heart started to pound loudly because he knew that thunder was going to follow in the next second. 

It did.

Cross raised his hands to his ears and blocked them as the thunder cracked through the sky, shaking the windowpanes. 

Cross gulped, curling his toes. 

Was this really happening? No medication, no Andre.

He looked at the light switch and slowly moved toward it; maybe tonight was the night he overcame his fears by himself. Fuck Andre, he didn't need anyone to care for him or make him feel safe, he'd been by himself almost all his life, this fleeting attachment was just a secondary distraction, he was fine by himself.

Stopping in front of the switch, he raised his hand and turned it off, hugging himself as the darkness enveloped him inside the room. 

"I'm not switching it back on, I can stay in the dark..." he whispered the mantra repeatedly as he slowly walked back to the bed.

The moment he reached the bed, he quickly got under the sheets and covered himself with them, hugging his pillow.

It started.

The rain started to drizzle down on the roofs, the wind getting fiercer. Cross curled himself up under the sheets, regretting his decision to turn off the light. He was slowly starting to feel his lungs constrict.

His triggers: loud rains, whistling winds, roaring thunder, and blinding lightning. 

He could hear the rain pick up velocity, falling harder on the roof, the winds were starting to blow the rain onto the windowpanes, activating his fears.

He clenched his fingers around the ear of his pillow, gritting his teeth tightly. 

Another thunder struck the earth, and Cross trembled, moving the sheets away from his head to force air into his lungs. He closed his eyes and imagined Andre's touch on his body but when he recalled how Andre had ignored him for three days, and even refused to answer his texts, those memories turned into sour ones, forcing his lungs to constrict more.

"Ugh..." Cross gritted and shut his eyes as his head started to pound, amid trying to breathe, he was also facing a severe, excruciating headache. 

His knuckles turned white from how tightly he was clenching them around the pillow, his lips parted in laboured breathing; he was starting to feel faint from lack of oxygen.

The storm was in full swing. Scattered thunder and lightning, the rain hitting the roof like tiny snowballs, Cross's head mirroring the sound of the raindrops.

If he continued that way for another minute, Cross knew he would die from lack of oxygen. He tried, and tried, but he was feeling too weak to force air into the constricting airway. He should just give up and let the storm carry his pain away.

He did that, he stopped struggling, closing his eyes and letting his fear consume him. Memories of that horrible day slowly started to build up in his head, and his legs started to twitch as his body fought to survive. 

But Cross was done, he was done struggling. He just wanted it all to end.

Just when Cross was sure his heart was about to give up, he felt that familiar warm and calming touch wrap around his waist.

He mocked himself; even when he was supposed to feel sorry for his dying self, he still wished that Cross would come and save him.

"I'm here now... you're okay," Cross heard Andre's deep, soothing voice, followed by the warmth that pressed against his back, pulling him in gently. 

Cross felt himself gasping for air, he was trying to survive now so he could check if it was really Andre or if his delirious brain was playing wicked tricks on him.

"You're doing great, Cross, just like that, keep breathing," Andre's voice once again softly encouraged behind Cross's shoulder, his warm breath fanning Cross's neck.

Cross felt the arm around his waist slide into his shirt and slowly started to massage his abdomen, that action brought him a whole lot of warmth and peace.

The warmth spread through his body and he slowly started to feel his limbs and body again, his lungs were starting to work, too. Taking a deep breath and feeling just a bit less troubled than he was, he removed his hand he'd been clenching around the pillow and lowered it to his abdomen, on the hand that was soothing him.

"A-Andre?" He stammered shakily.

"It's me, Cross. I'm here... for you," Andre whispered behind Cross, his thumb circling the back of Cross's hand that had lowered to hold his own.

Cross took a deep, shaky breath, the storm inside him slowly beginning to settle. The only thing anchoring him now was Andre—his voice, his touch.

Gently, Cross turned in Andre's arms until he was facing him. His eyes landed on that familiar face, and a breath he hadn't realised he was holding slipped through his lips.

The soft light filtering through the closed windows cast a halo-like glow around Andre's handsome face. His brown eyes held a depth of concern as they stayed fixed on Cross, unwavering and tender.

"You came," Cross whispered, raising his hand to Andre's face just to make sure it was him.

Andre felt Cross's cold, trembling fingers on his cheek and suddenly felt his heart hurting; he couldn't bear to see Cross that way: scared, unsure, abandoned.

"You're going to be fine," He whispered and covered his hand over Cross's, bringing it down to his lips.

He didn't know why he did it, but he felt it was just the right and best thing to do at that moment. He kissed the inside of Cross's palm, then the back.

Cross was surprised by Andre's unpredictable actions, but he wasn't aversive to them; he closed his eyes and allowed Andre's warmth to transfer into his body. He knew he should be dead-ass mad at Andre, but for now, he was letting himself bask in Andre's affection.

He moved in, burying his face in Andre's neck. That's when he realised that Andre was actually shirtless and his hair was kind of damp. 

Did he run through the storm?

Cross's heart fluttered with that idea: Andre, forging through the storm, just to get to him.

He wanted to ask Andre about it, but he didn't want to speak, he wanted to relish in the comfort he found with Andre, the relief, the calming. 

Cross realised that he had become so dependent on Andre. Somehow, what he was experiencing earlier wasn't entirely due to the storm that was still soaring outside, it was partly because he missed Andre's comforting presence by his side.

"Can you talk now?" Andre's voice was tender, smooth.

Andre's hand found Cross's waist again, moving his thumb over the smooth skin of Cross's waist.

Cross shook his head, he didn't trust himself not to say something that would ruin the mood between them. 

Andre sighed, "Okay, just know... I'm right here, you don't have to be scared." He said, closing his eyes.

Andre tried to keep his breathing steady for Cross's sake, he needed Cross to feel safe, protected. Maybe, he could ask him about this in the morning. He wanted to know if there's a way to cure Cross of this phobia or trauma. He didn't know which one it was, but whatever it was, it needed to be cured.

He didn't know how long Cross had endured these episodes, but he knew it would be exhausting to experience, no one deserved to be tormented mentally.

Andre suddenly froze. He felt Cross's arm slowly hugging his neck and very slowly, Cross moved in his body, pressing his front against Andre's. 

Andre gulped. Just like the last time, he didn't move away, he knew this was a way for Cross to cope with the storm, nothing else.

He couldn't possibly push him away right now, it was risky. He remained still, feeling Cross's warm breath on his neck, tickling his senses.

He bit his lips as he felt the tip of Cross's nose gently sliding along his Adam's apple, slowly gliding the cold tip along his neck. He believed he could ignore that but suddenly drew in a shaky breath as Cross suddenly pressed his lips to his neck.

Andre gulped against Cross's lips, feeling anxious; his pulse raced, heartbeat pounding in his ears; it was now like he was the one having a panicked attack, but this time, it wasn't the storm, it was Cross.

Cross simply pressed his lips on Andre's neck, leaving them there like it was the most natural thing to do. He felt Andre stiffen in his arms and paused. It was just like the last time, he was testing the waters, not wanting to make Andre feel pressured or taken advantage of; but this time, he didn't plan to stop. 

Cross was going to make sure he got Andre to relax, to get comfortable, just like he was with him.

He saw that Andre wasn't trying to move away from him and sighed softly, sniffing Andre's neck. 

"I've missed your scent, Andre," Cross's whisper teased Andre's neck. 

Andre closed his eyes as he felt a strong pull at the strings of his heart. How could Cross say something like that out of the blue?

He cleared his throat, "I'm glad you can speak now." He replied, his voice betraying him and sounding husky.

Cross didn't speak.

There was silence between them, a charged silence. It seemed like each had something to say to the other but chose to swallow it down. 

Andre felt Cross move first, lifting his face from under his chin. He thought Cross was finally moving away, but he tensed again as he felt the tip of Cross's nose touching his.

Andre ceased to breathe for a second as he felt Cross's hot breath fanning his lips. This was it, this was the point where he should step back, push Cross away, but he didn't, he didn't even take his hand away from Cross's waist. 

"Your heart is racing..." Cross placed his hand flat on Andre's left chest, feeling how fast it was beating. 

Andre took a deep breath, "It is." He confirmed, aware of how close Cross's lips were. Just a little tilt of his head would make his lips brush against Cross's. 

"Why? Are you scared?" Cross whispered his question, his hand slowly moving over Andre's chest. 

"I don't know..." Andre replied, holding Cross's hand that was grazing over his chest, sliding over his nipple and causing his breathing to become more laboured.

Cross sighed, "I think I know why, Andre. Do you want me to show you?" He asked quietly. 

Andre went mute. A simple 'no' would end everything before it even started. But he didn't want to say no, he couldn't say yes, either; even when he felt Cross's face tilting and his lips getting closer, he didn't pull away, he stayed put. A part of him was hungrily anticipating what was coming... he wanted it to happen, it's been the only thing on his mind for the past three days.

Cross felt Andre's subtle dare, silently asking him to cover the distance between them.

Breaths slowly mingling, Cross's heart pounded as he slowly leaned in and brushed Andre's lower lip with his lips.

Andre gulped and said anything, didn't pull away, he wanted this. His hands were already itching to pull Cross in, but he gritted his teeth and remained calm. This was Cross's game, he would let him have the spotlight. 

Cross licked his lips, taking Andre's silence as a go-ahead sign.

With a soft sigh, he pressed his lips to Andre's, closing his eyes as his body slightly trembled from the sweet, warm contact. It felt better than he imagined.

Andre's hand released Cross's hand from his chest and pulled him closer by the waist, kissing him back slowly at first, allowing Cross to get used to his lips, and then, a low groan reverberated in his chest before he moved his head in and deepened the kiss.

There was nothing tender about that kiss, they kissed with the pent-up attraction they've had for each other since the beginning, letting the other person feel just how much they've wanted this to happen.

Cross's hand trembled as he brought it up to Andre's face, his toes curling as he felt Andre's tongue gently probing his lips. A soft moan escaped him, and he parted his mouth, letting Andre in. His brain threatened to shut down as Andre's tongue stroked his own, licking and teasing in a way that felt downright sinful.

The storm outside was muffled now, as if the world had paused for them. Only the sound of their racing pulses and mingled breaths filled the space between them. Their lips and tongues danced in growing desire, a fire igniting inside them, urging them to go further.

Cross had never known a kiss could make him feel this lightheaded. Andre's lips were soft yet firm, moulding perfectly against his with just the right pressure. And his tongue... it moved with such skill that Cross couldn't help but imagine all the other places it could tease.

"Oh, God..." Cross whispered, slowly pulling back. 

He ducked his head and buried his face beneath Andre's chin, heat rushing to his cheeks at the thoughts swirling through his mind.

Andre was breathless, stunned by his own actions.

He had kissed Cross... and he liked it.

"Damn..." he muttered, feeling Cross trying to catch his breath against his neck.

His hand loosened around Cross's waist but he didn't take it away; after all, the storm was still raging, he needed to hold Cross... right?

He didn't know what to do next, Cross's reaction mirrored his but he wasn't about to let Cross see how affected and flustered he was.

He couldn't remember the last time someone made his pulse race the way it did at that moment. 

Andre heard Cross sigh before he felt his hand on his face again. Cross's face lifted again, this time, with the aid of the small light streaming into the room, he stared into Andre's eyes.

Andre found out that it was quite hard for him to hold a gaze with those silver eyes after that sinful kiss they'd just shared. He wanted to look away but Cross held his face, shaking his head at him.

"Three days, Andre... The least you can do is look at me after ignoring me for three days," Cross whispered, his forehead pressing against Andre's, "Do you hate me that much?" He asked.

Andre frowned, his hand tightened around Cross as he  focused on Cross's face, "I don't hate you..." He gulped, at a loss for what else to say to Cross.

"Okay..." Cross slowly nodded.

"Cross... don't," Andre slightly leaned his face away as Cross's lips brushed his again.

"Shh..." Cross placed a finger on Andre's lips, "Help me get through the storm. You'll forget it by morning... storm effect." His voice was persuasive, his thumb tracing Andre's lower lip.

"We shouldn't -" Andre was cut off by Cross's tongue sliding across his lower lip, causing him to groan and hiss.

"Cross -"

"Don't push me away, the storm is not over yet. Fine... I'll stop," Cross sighed and hugged Andre, resting his head on Andre's chest.

"You're calm enough... I don't think I still need to hold you, Cross," Andre said, trying to detangle himself from Cross's koala hug.

"No, no, please. I need you," Cross hugged Andre tightly, refusing to let go.

Andre sighed, it was difficult for him to simply hold Cross and do nothing; it was going to be difficult for him to sleep, and he didn't want Cross feeling him down there. He already felt awkward from the kiss, letting Cross feel him down there would be super awkward.

"You can sleep, too, Andre. I'm not going to eat you... Yet," Cross chuckled very softly and snuggled closer to Andre.

Andre knew that Cross was a wild card, but he never imagined that he would be this wild. He needed to guard his body and heart from Cross... he couldn't let himself get carried away like he did tonight. He was surprised that he wasn't even ready to stop until Cross pulled away from him.

'What got over me?' He thought to himself. 

He suddenly felt Cross's calm breathing and his relaxed body.

"You're trouble, Cross... don't push further... please," Andre whispered and sniffed Cross's hair.

It was really going to be hard for him from that moment onwards, that kiss changed everything, and he could feel it. 

And Cross? He seemed like the type to always get what he wanted but Andre was ready to fight him off. He couldn't be with Cross, they were two different personalities and statuses. 

Or...

Could there be a way? A way to date someone from a mafia family and still stay safe? Without family discrimination and public dangers?

Sighing, he shut his eyes and focused on the way Cross felt in his arms: right.

His mind was messed up, he needed to step back before it was too late.