Chapter 235

The soft rhythm of Cross's breathing against his chest slowly began to calm Andre's racing heart, even as his mind whirled. The storm outside continued its steady assault on the windows, a fitting backdrop to the internal tempest that had just raged between them.

Andre's thoughts were a tangled mess. He had held strong for three days, resisting the inexplicable pull he felt towards Cross, a man who represented everything he usually steered clear of: danger, chaos, and an intensity that threatened to consume him. Yet, here he was, holding Cross, after a kiss that had left him utterly breathless and questioning everything he thought he knew. 

This isn't right. He tried to tell himself. He's mafia. This is reckless. You're risking everything.

But then he felt Cross stir, snuggling deeper into his embrace, and a warmth spread through him that had nothing to do with fear. It was a warmth that felt like belonging, like coming home.

Andre looked down at Cross's serene face, softened by sleep and the dim light. The vulnerability he saw there was a stark contrast to the defiant, annoying man he'd met. This was the Cross who needed him, the one who trembled during a storm, the one whose tears felt like a direct assault on Andre's own composure.

He remembered Cross's earlier words, "Do you hate me that much?" And his own swift denial: "I don't hate you." The truth of that statement resonated deeply. He didn't hate Cross. In fact, he was terrifyingly drawn to him.

The idea of "storm effect" lingered in his mind, a convenient excuse. But he knew, with a certainty that chilled him even in Cross's warmth, that this went far beyond a temporary lapse in judgment fueled by fear. 

This was something real, something potent, and something incredibly dangerous.

He carefully shifted, making sure not to wake Cross, and wrapped his arms more securely around him. He inhaled the scent of Cross's hair, a mixture of hotel shampoo and something uniquely his, and allowed himself, just for a moment, to simply be.

What would tomorrow bring? A cold dose of reality, most likely. The unspoken tension, the awkwardness, the stark reminder of their vastly different worlds. He'd have to talk to Cross about boundaries, about expectations, about the impossibility of… whatever this was. He'd have to be firm, logical, and rational, even if every fibre of his being screamed to ignore it all and just hold on, and, last but not least, he would have to ask Cross about his fear of the storm. 

But tonight, just for tonight, he would allow himself this. To be the anchor in Cross's storm, to be the unexpected comfort, to simply hold him. The fight could wait until morning.
***
Everywhere was calm and cool; the room was quiet and cosy as two men lay under the comfortable sheets, gently embraced in each other's warm arms. 

The golden sun rays stroked their skin through the glass windows, blanketting them in its warm halo.

Cross stirred on Andre's chest, his breath slightly increasing as he opened his eyes, squinting a little as the sun softly shone on his face.

He was soon distracted by the person he was resting on. He raised his head, and Andre's face remained steady, and so was his breathing.

Cross lowered his eyes to Andre's lips, and a small smile played on his lips. He slowly bit his lips as he recalled how hungrily Andre had kissed him last night.

He raised his hand and ghosted it over Andre's chin. He wanted to touch Andre but suddenly remembered what had happened yesterday.

Frowning, Cross rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom. Andre was fine, hot, yes, but that doesn't mean he gets to act however he likes. 

Cross was still angry from Andre's ignorance. He wanted Andre to apologise before he would let everything get back to normal between them. 

Why did Andre walk out on him for three days? Did he do something wrong? 

Even if he did do something wrong, was Andre such a child that he couldn't communicate? Even when Cross tried to reach out, Andre still refused to reply.

Then why did he suddenly turn into a hero last night? Running through the storm to get to him. Cross frowned as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror with his toothbrush in his mouth. He was starting to wonder if Andre had kissed him back out of guilt last night. Maybe Andre felt so bad for ignoring him and decided to indulge him as an apology. 

He sighed and started to brush his teeth, planning to wake Andre up after brushing his teeth. He couldn't wait to hear his reason for leaving. 

Rinsing his mouth, he paused as he heard a shuffle from the room. He thought Andre was walking toward the bathroom, but when he heard his footsteps heading toward the exit, he quickly finished off and hurried out of the bathroom.

"Leaving again?" Cross questioned the moment he stepped out of the bathroom.

Andre paused in front of the door and glanced at Cross before turning to face the door again. 

Cross felt his heart sting at the outright ignorance; he felt so stupid. He should have just remained in the bathroom and let Andre walk away.

Still, he stood there, watching as Andre walked out of the room and shut the door.

Cross felt his eyes sting and immediately used the back of his hands to brush those treacherous tears away. 

He knew why he teared up, and it was unfortunate that Andre didn't give a fuck. He was such in a hurry to leave that he even went out shirtless.

Cross walked over to the bed, lowering himself onto it.

'Is my presence really that annoying?' He wondered, biting his lip as it slightly trembled from the pain he was feeling within him.

It would have been better if Andre had never returned last night if he had been leaving the very next morning without a word.

Cross felt a little tear escape the side of his eye and quickly wiped it away. He couldn't let anyone see him that way, he didn't even want to see himself that way.

He was the wild, cold and unfeeling Cross, tears were not in his categorisation. 

The quietness of the room was so loud, especially after the storm last night, Cross felt like there was a silent storm hanging from his ceiling over his head, making him feel alone and depressed.

He thought he would have someone to talk to that morning, even if it weren't compulsorily a romantic or personal talk, but it seemed like he was getting none of that.

The door suddenly opened and Cross snapped his head toward it; Andre walked in with a tray of food in his hands and Royal carrying another one behind him.

"Good morning, Mr. Cross," Royal greeted as she walked into the room.

Cross didn't respond, too confused to speak; he stared in confusion as they placed the food on the table at the corner, wondering what was going on.

"Thank you, Royal. I'll ring the kitchen when we're done," Andre said to the chef.

Royal smiled and nodded before she walked out of the room, closing the door. 

Cross stared at Andre, afraid to speak to him again for fear of being ignored again.

Andre felt Cross's gaze and turned to face him, "That's your food." He said, pointing to the table. 

He couldn't hold Cross's gaze, he hadn't forgotten a single second from last night. He was embarrassed and kind of angry at himself for letting it happen.

Andre turned away and headed to the table, sitting in the chair on one side of the table.

Cross frowned, he wasn't going anywhere until he understood what was happening. 

"I'm not hungry," He spoke calmly, staying seated on the bed.

Andre sighed, not bothering to turn and glance at Cross.

"Fine then, suit yourself. I'll just finish here and be on my way -"

"Of course, that's what you do best: leaving," Cross cut him off, his voice cracking at the end, he couldn't pull it together anymore. 

Andre frowned hearing Cross's cracked voice; standing up, he walked over to Cross on the bed, his eyes roaming around Cross's lowered body to check if he was okay.

"Are you okay?" He asked, standing in front of Cross who had his face lowered to the floor.

Cross scoffed, "Stop acting, Andre. I know you don't give a fuck about me. Just leave like you did three days ago, I don't know why you bothered returning." He said, sniffing. 

Andre's frown deepened as he lowered himself beside Cross, "Hey, are you crying?" He asked, putting his hand under Cross's chin.

Cross glared at Andre, not minding the tears that were slipping down the sides of his eyes, "Stop touching me, Andre. It disgusts -"

"Why are you crying?" Andre sighed and took his hand away from Cross's chin, ignoring what he was about to say. 

Cross scoffed again, not speaking.

Andre kept staring at Cross and wondering what the problem might be that morning. "I don't understand what you're saying, Cross. I'm just trying to understand why a grown man like you is crying. Did something happen?" He questioned, confused.

"Just mind your business. Not everyone is hardened on the inside like you are," Cross stood to walk away but Andre caught his wrist, holding him back.

"Wait... can you sit for a while? Please?" Andre asked calmly, gently pulling Cross back to the bed.

Cross sat down, facing away from Andre. He hated this side of himself, and he wished he didn't give a fuck about Andre.

"You seem to be upset about something I did. Can you tell me what it is?" Andre asked, shifting closer to Cross.

He had it in mind to keep his distance but Cross's tears seemed to be doing a number on him. He felt tormented by those tears. He'd preferred it if Cross had hit him instead of crying.

Cross still didn't respond, he was feeling so stupid for allowing himself to get in that situation. 

Andre sighed, "I'm not going to know what I did wrong if you're never going to tell me. I need to know, Cross. I need you to stop crying, already." His hands fisted on top of his lap as he forced them to stay steady and not wipe Cross's tears. He promised himself to reason with logic last night, so, he wasn't going to let whatever possessed him last night possess him again. 

Cross suddenly threw his phone on Andre's lap, his face looking calmly at Andre but his eyes looked hurt. 

Andre was at a loss, he picked up Cross's phone and stared at it for a second, "Cross, you can really do better with communication. Throwing your phone at me wouldn't -"

"God, you're so annoying!" Cross buried his face in his palms before he snatched his phone from Andre, "Here, see that?" He placed the screen in front of Andre's face. 

Andre's brows furrowed as he stared at the screen. He had many thoughts running through his mind in that moment. 

How did Cross get his number?

Why was there an eggplant emoji by the side of his name?

Why did Cross have to call me twenty times?

"Oh, that's not all," Cross said and quickly switched to the messages he'd sent to Andre, "All was read but none was replied. You're so mean, Andre. I don't know why you bothered coming back; you should have fucking stayed out." He said angrily. 

Andre frowned, looking confused as he started to search his pockets for something. 

"Damn, I must have left my phone with Tony," He muttered.

Cross snapped his head at Andre, his eyes turning into lasers, "Tony, huh? I know I mean nothing to you, but, courtesy demands that you tell your roommate where you're going and with whom. Trust me, if I had known you were with ugly Tony, I would never have called, I'm serious." He said, a deep frown appearing on his face.

He was already imagining what Andre did with Tony for three straight days. He slowly wiped his lips as the image of Andre kissing Tony refused to leave his mind. He shouldn't have kissed Andre last night, at least, not right after he had kissed someone else. 

Andre was almost losing focus on why he wanted to speak to Cross, a lot of things were coming up at once. 

"You think I've been with Tony for three days?" Andre asked, frowning. 

Cross shrugged, "You said so."

Andre took a deep breath and massaged his temple, "I wasn't with Tony. I went out to deal with some personal issues and when I got back in the afternoon, I happened to run into Tony, and somehow, I left my phone with him at the beach bar," Andre explained, staring at Cross's face.

"Yeah, the fuck was so good that you had to tip him off with your phone," Cross looked away from Andre, folding his hands.

Andre blinked slowly, "You're not being fair, Cross. I'm respecting you, even trying to figure out what is going on with you, which isn't in my job description, but you're here, insulting me at every little opportunity you get. You don't play fair, Cross." He sighed, shaking his head.

"Just leave me alone," Cross muttered, turning his body away from Andre. 

"Okay. I just wanted to know what was wrong with you, but it seems this isn't the right time to speak with you; I'll check back some other time," Andre said and stood from the bed. 

He had seen that Cross wasn't ready to listen to him at that moment, so he would defer it to some other time. 

However, Andre paused again when he heard a sob escape Cross's lips. Feeling frustrated, helpless, and confused, he turned back and returned to Cross. This time he sat close to him and reached out to hold his hand.

"Alright, that's enough. I'm here, say whatever you want to say to me, hit me if you want to. You're making me go crazy with your silent torture, your cry torments me, so, please, speak instead," Andre told him firmly, staring right at his face.

Cross bit his lips and faced Andre, "Fine. Let's talk." He said and moved closer to Andre, his silver eyes locked on Andre's. 

"Why did you leave without a word? Was it because I touched you the other night? Are you that disgusted by me? Do you prefer Tony's touch to mine? Why didn't you answer my calls and texts? Why did you come to me last night?" Cross pushed everything out there for Andre, watching his face to take in every single reaction he made.

Andre was quiet, his hand slowly releasing Cross's as he took a deep breath. He slowly blinked, gulping and subtly adjusted himself beside Cross.

Cross had managed to ask him the crucial questions that would define whatever was going on between them.

"See? You're not speaking, why did you bother to ask?" Cross shook his head.

"I'm talking... I'm talking. Just, I feel your questions are a bit too direct, I might not be able to answer everything," Andre stared at Cross, managing a polite smile.

"Then don't answer at all," Cross shrugged, not moving away.

Andre sighed, "I didn't leave without a word, I did tell you that I might not return that night. No... I didn't leave because you touched me; I told you before, I had to leave for some personal reasons, and it had nothing to do with you. Disgusted by you?" Andre paused and chuckled as he stared at Cross's face, "Quite the opposite," he murmured.

"What?" Cross asked, narrowing his eyes at Andre.

Andre smiled to himself, "Nothing." He cleared his throat. 

"So where was I?" Andre scratched the side of his neck.

"Are you that disgusted by me?" Cross filled out.

"Why would you even ask that?" Andre asked, "Why would you think I'd be disgusted?" He questioned. 

Cross furrowed his brows, "I don't know, you tell me," he moved closer and placed his hand on Andre's knee.

"You see? You flinch whenever I touch you, if that's not disgust then what is it?" Cross frowned. 

Andre turned his head and looked into Cross's eyes, placing his hand over Cross's on his knee, "You think that's disgust?" He raised a brow. 

"You tell me what it is, Andre. That's why I asked," Cross stated. 

Andre sighed deeply and shook his head, "Just know it's not disgust, Cross." He said, taking his hand away.

"I don't like vague answers, Andre, but I'll let it slide for now," Cross's side was now pressed against Andre's as he leaned in, leaving no space between them.

Cross was suddenly feeling better, Andre's answers weren't exactly what he wanted, but he would manage them, for now.

"Then..." Cross raised his hand to Andre's face and held his chin, slowly turning his head toward himself, "Whose touch do you prefer? Tony's or mine?" He asked again. 

Cross decided to take the question one at a time. He needed to study Andre carefully; he thought Andre really didn't care, but from what he was sensing, Andre cared a lot, but there seemed to be something holding him back.

If Cross wanted something, he went for it; he didn't care about what the other person's fears were; he just needed to secure the spark between them, and whatever the problem was, they could tackle it together. 

He liked good things and Andre was good stuff, he wasn't going to chicken out when he could feel such a strong spark between them. And the way Andre had kissed him last night... Hot.

Andre stared into Cross's eyes, seeing that mischievous glint returning to them. He knew he had to be careful now, Cross seemed to be done with sulking, now he was back to his evil ways.

"Answer me, Andre..." Cross's voice dropped to a soft whisper, his fingers grazing under Andre's chin as he leaned his face closer. 

Andre didn't flinch, he knew Cross wasn't going to kiss him, it was just teasing.

"I can't tell, Cross. Tony has never touched me... in that manner. It's just you..." he paused and tried to move his face away from Cross's hand. 

"Mm-mm, we're not done," Cross said sternly, grabbing Andre's chin with a little force. 

"I know..." Andre smiled.

"So? You're willing to let Tony touch you? To compare?" Cross whispered. 

Andre chuckled, "You're so funny, I must give it to you. You haven't even touched me... per-say; how am I supposed to answer that?" He asked, gently removing Cross's hand from his chin.

"Then, will you let me touch you properly? Will you stop running and let me show you just how good my hands can -"

"No, Cross, that won't be necessary," he placed Cross's hand down on the bed, smiling politely.

Cross frowned, "You're doing it again." He muttered.

"I swear to God, you make me forget my next words." Andre rubbed his face.

"I didn't ignore your texts or your calls, I just happened to be busy, and when I returned... I kind of lost my phone and Tony currently has it," Andre told Cross, his face calm.

Cross rolled his eyes, "Your explanation is suspicious. Anyways, the last question; why did you come to me last night? Did you run through the storm to get back to me?" He asked.

Andre slowly nodded, "I did return because of the storm, to help you; and, yes, I did run through the storm to get to you. Aren't you grateful I did?" He smirked.

Cross chuckled, "Of course, I like it. You literally saved my life, I'd be an ingreat if I don't appreciate you." Cross said.

Andre nodded, "Then, this morning? What happened? Why did you suddenly cry? Why did you suddenly act like I wronged you?" He asked carefully, "That's not how someone grateful should behave." He added quietly.

Cross bit his lips, "I thought you were leaving again." He murmured.

Andre tilted his head to stare at him, "What? You thought I was leaving? And... even if I was? That's why you would cry?" His brows creased in confusion.

"Ugh..." Cross covered his face with his hands, "I was crying because I miss you, Andre. I thought you were leaving again. Idiot." He bent over and hid his face between his knees.

Andre took a moment to process Cross's words, "You miss me? So, you cried..." he sighed and raked his hand through his hair, gritting his teeth. 

"Listen, Cross," He gently placed his hand on Cross's shoulder and made him lift his face from between his knees.

Cross stared at Andre calmly, not trying to hide whatever Andre was seeing in his eyes at the moment. 

"Can you not make every situation between us appear like something is going on between us?" Andre asked quietly. 

Cross didn't blink, "Isn't there something between us, Andre?" He bit his lower lip as he stared at Andre's. 

Andre breathed out quietly, "You're the one trying to get something to happen, Cross. And, I need you not to. I can't give you what you want. I know what you're doing, Cross. But, you should also know what I'm doing." He answered. 

Cross chuckled, "Of course, I do know what you're doing. You're playing hard to get, but I've got time, Andre. I don't care about whatever your dumb reason might be, you'll see, you'll let it go in the end...for me." He stood and went to stand in front of Andre, squatting in front of him.

"I want you, Andre. I'm not going to tell you how long I've wanted you, but just know that I want you, and I'm not easily dissuaded. You should have figured that out by yourself," he hugged Andre's waist, placing his head on Andre's chest.

Andre froze, Cross was crossing all his lines, effortlessly.

"Um, Cross, I don't know what you're talking about. Perhaps you might have mistaken me for doing my job as feelings. Whatever I've done for you, that was me doing my job, Cross. Please do not misunderstand me, last night was just -"

"Huh?" Cross smirked and stood up, "Last night? So you do remember last night? I knew you lied about that storm effect, why?" Cross folded his arms.

Andre sighed, defeated.

He stood and went over to the wardrobe, "I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable because of your episodes during storms. I acted normal to let you feel normal." Andre said, pulling out a white shirt from the wardrobe. 

Cross walked up behind Andre and took the shirt away from his hand, "I see. So you were just doing your job, too?" He asked, turning Andre to look at him.

Andre nodded, "Yeah." 

Cross didn't seem angry at all, his face looked amused and curious. He stepped closer, placing his hand on Andre's chest, "Then... that kiss last night..." he leaned close to Andre's ear, his breath fanning his ear, "Why did you kiss me back, Andre? Fuck... I'm already getting hard thinking about how your tongue felt on mine... sinful as fuck..." His hand moved down Andre's chest, over his abs.

"S-stop..." Andre stammered slightly, his breath shallow as he held Cross's naughty hand.

"Why?" Cross gently pushed Andre's back against the wardrobe, biting his lips as he stared up at Andre's eyes.

Andre's breath hitched quietly but he managed to get a hold of himself. "I did it to help you, Cross. I figured it would help you calm down, it did. You should be grateful, not doing this." He frowned.

Cross nodded, his face leaning closer to Andre's, "I never knew you'd be such a good kisser... I hope it storms every night. I want more of those storm kisses." He hovered his lips over Andre's, chuckled, and stepped back.

"I'm bringing my best game to you, Papito; you better get your defence ready and strong," Cross touched Andre's face, "If not, one of these nights, you're going to be balls deep inside me." He kissed his finger and placed it on Andre's lips before walking into the bathroom, leaving Andre questioning whether he could still breathe or not.