Chapter 190

Zeno slowly turned and faced Sebastian, his body feeling warm by the gentle way Sebastian held his waist.

He bit his lips and forced away those thoughts for now. He needed to hear what Sebastian had to say. He wanted an explanation about what Ken had said.

"Then talk to me, Sebastian... I'm listening," Zeno replied quietly.

Sebastian took a quiet breath and stood from the bed, shocking Zeno by kneeling in front of him, moving in between his legs, and holding Zeno's hand.

"What are you doing?" Zeno frowned, trying to take his hand away from Sebastian.

"Don't, please; I just want to look at you properly while we are tall. Kneeling is part of my apology to you; nothing I do is going to cut it, so let me try; just let me hold you; it makes me believe that you're with me, please?" He held Zeno's hand tighter; he'd feel empty if he let it go.

Zeno watched Sebastian's face; he looked tired, too, exhausted. Does it mean he was actually suffering as he was too?

"Let's try this again, Sebastian," He nodded at Sebastian, gently clenching his fists to himself from touching Sebastian's sad face.

Sebastian nodded eagerly, "Let's try this again, Zeno," He replied.

Zeno looked away from him, his heart was misbehaving the more he stared at Sebastian, 'Is this how I'll be able to reason rightly?' He ashed himself.

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath before returning his eyes to Sebastian's. "What was Ken trying to say?" His voice was cold.

He wanted to seem as if he didn't care so that when the answer would hurt him, Sebastian would think that he didn't care at the beginning.

"Ken... he was just trying to tell you that Cloud was conceived through an IVF, I never slept with Sakura, or anyone else," He confessed in a calm voice, he needed Zeno to be assured, he wanted him to understand that he was incapable of cheating on him, not even at the point of a gun.

Zeno's eyes could be seen sparkling a little; he held Sebastian's gaze for a while; hope was rearing its head up in his heart; he was daring himself to believe Sebastian one more time, to trust him one more time.

'Can I trust you again, Sebastian?' Zeno thought anxiously.

He slowly gathered himself together and blinked; he needed his head to focus on the topic; he was starting to dream, to dream really big, and that was dangerous. Dreaming big came with either an achievement or a huge failure, he was scared of failing this time.

"Cloud was conceived through an IVF? Why though? Why did you have to have a child with her? Why did it have to be your... sperm? Is it all part of the engagement? Does it mean you're tied to her forever? Maybe you really do need a woman in your life -"

"Zeno," Sebastian's hand started to caress Zeno's arm, his eyes not leaving his.

"I just need answers -"

"Hey, handsome - oh, my! I'm sorry, sorry, I didn't know you were busy. Hi, Zeno, nice to officially meet you. Go ahead, guys, I'll be downstairs, minding my business," The door was slammed shut, the room returning to its initial quietness.

Zeno gently removed his hand from Sebastian's, "That's her, the girl you brought to the club the other night, she calls you handsome? Barges into your room whenever? Are we even ever going to get somewhere, Sebastian?" He sighed tiredly.

Sebastian took Zeno's hand again, moving closer until one of his hands wrapped around Zeno's waist, he made sure Zeno was looking back at him before he replied, "We're getting somewhere, Baby girl. That's Claudia; she is not my girlfriend, or whatever you thought she was; she's Sakura's partner; she's just here waiting for Sakura to come over and meet her so they can live their lives away from their family," He explained.

Zeno paused, frowning, "What? How? You're engaged to Sakura, Sebastian, what the hell are you guys doing?" He raised a brow at him.

"Sakura doesn't like men, trust me, that girl never liked me for once, she just wanted to use me as a shield to her real sex from her parents, Cloud is her and Claudia's son, and, no, it's not my sperm, I've ve got no business with their family, the call you heard earlier was because my dad was with her, she first calls me baby to make sure I follow up on her acting each time my dad demanded she called me. I don't love Sakura, Zeno, I love you, I've always had," Sebastian kissed the back of Zeno's hand, caressing the side of his waist.

Zeno didn't want to, but he felt instant relief and joy flood his system; he let a small, dismissable smile play on his lips. His hands moved on their own accord, cupping Sebastian's face in them, "Sakura is in a relationship with Claudia?" He asked cautiously.

Sebastian nodded gently, "Yes," his magnetic eyes were charged on Zeno.

Zeno gulped, "You... you're not planning to marry her?" He asked further.

Sebastian made a disgusted face, causing Zeno to chuckle, "No way..." He turned his head and kissed the inside of Zeno's wrist, "I'm gay, Zeno," He whispered.

Zeno drew in a sharp breath and bit his lower lip, "That's... good to know," He tugged on Sebastian's hand, "Can you get up now?" He asked softly.

Sebastian chuckled, "Am I forgiven?" He whispered.

Zeno shook his head, "Not yet, but we can talk on the bed, you don't have to kneel,"

Sebastian smirked, "Talking on the bed?" Sebastian lifted himself from the floor and gently pushed Zeno down on the bed, wedging his knees beside Zeno's thighs, and placing his elbows beside his head.

"I'm nowhere near done talking, Zeno; you're the one who asked me to get up, I need you to promise that you'll forgive me no matter what I say," He raised a brow at Zeno.

Zeno hesitated, "I can, as long it doesn't end up with you actually having to marry Sakura," Zeno stared up at him.

Sebastian didn't respond, he took his time to stare at Zeno's face, "Can I -"

Zeno gave Sebastian a very short kiss on the lips, "This doesn't mean anything, Sebastian, not until I've heard why you treated me so badly, broke my heart in front of everyone, and let me believe you never loved me for over a year," He gently pushed Sebastian off him and sat up, grabbing a pillow to keep his hands busy while he listened to Sebastian.
Sebastian's fingers twitched as if resisting the urge to pull Zeno back. He contained his smile; Zeno had kissed him; it meant a lot to him; his confidence was boosted; he didn't move away from Zeno anymore, and he sat close to him, gluing his arm to his.

"Over there, Sebastian, we're talking, not cuddling," Zeno pointed to the other side of the bed.

Sebastian sighed and reluctantly shifted to the side of the bed, he was ready to do whatever Zeno wanted as long as it made him happy.

"I'm planning to call off the engagement when Sakura comes over here; my father doesn't know you're here; if he did, he'd have found a way to cause trouble for us," Sebastian started, his eyes not leaving Zeno for once.

Zeno nodded, "I no longer care about what your father thinks, Sebastian, he has nothing on me anymore. All I want to know is why you did what you did, how did he convince you to hurt me that way? To hurt us that way, or perhaps I was the only one hurting?" He tilted his head to look at Sebastian.

Sebastian shook his head, "You have no idea, Zeno, I was hurting, badly. But I needed to do what I did that day... he was somewhere in the house watching, he wanted to confirm that I did break up with you," He informed.

Zeno was surprised, "So he did know about us?"

"Yes, he knew, I don't know how, but he seemed to have known for a while before then. He needed to secure a business partnership with Sakura's father; marriage seemed to be his surest way, so that's how Sakura agreed to it, and I had no choice but to agree too," Sebastian said.

Zeno frowned, "What do you mean you had no choice, Sebastian? So because Sakura agreed just so she could use you to fake her orientation while she dated the person she loved, and you easily agreed to lose the person you claimed you loved just to protect other people's love and to grant your father some stupid business partnership. I'm sorry, I don't buy this shit, Sebastian, it's not solid enough for what you did to me. You could have told me all this; we could have found a way to stand up to him; he's your father; he has no choice but to deal with it in the end," Zeno stood and walked away from the bed.

Sebastian stood and followed him, he met Zeno leaning beside the wardrobe with a frown. He stood in front of Zeno and paced a hand under his chin.

"This is why I asked if you would forgive me if I told you everything; I haven't even told you half of it, and you're pushing me away again," Sebastian caressed Zeno's jaw with his thumb.

"I'm not pushing you away, Sebastian, I'm just disappointed. Your reasons are too shallow for your actions, Seb, all I'm saying is that we could have stood up to your fucking father, none of us had to go through any of this," He stated, slapping Sebastian's hand away.

Sebastian shook his head, "No, we couldn't have stood up to him... we can't still stand up to him," He said, stepping closer to Zeno.

"Why, what else can he do to me? He has nothing on me," Zeno gave a nonchalant shrug.

Sebastian hesitated, shut his eyes, and clenched his fists. He took a deep breath before looking at Zeno's face.

"We can't stand up to him, Zeno... he has your parents under his watch," Sebastian dropped the bomb.

Zeno blinked rapidly but not as rapidly as his brain was working in that second; he snapped his head at Sebastian, a huge confused frown marking his face, "W-What do you mean? My parents are dead," he said more to himself than to Sebastian.

Sebastian's silence only made things worse; Zeno's head was a mess, and he was starting to question everything, even his own existence.

"Sebastian, say something to me, what do you mean?" He held Sebastian's face.

Sebastian sighed, "I meant what you said, Zeno; your parents were never dead; he's got them for a long time," He confessed.

"Fuck! Fuck you, Sebastian! Fuck your father!" Zeno pushed Sebastian away, breathing harshly as his emotional turmoil rose higher with each breath he took.