Chapter 72
Zeno's head was still too muddy to concentrate on what Sebastian was saying, but he did hear him.
Sebastian saw that Zeno wasn't responding and thought that Zeno was ignoring him.
"Hate my kiss now? Does it disgust you now?" He questioned.
Zeno blinked, "I'm tired, Sebastian." He replied and walked back to the bed.
He was tired of all the emotional roller coasters with Sebastian. Sebastian had made him understand that there would be nothing between them, and it made him realize that he had let himself get swayed for a long time.
It's time he got his head back in the game.
He was here to get Sebastian married so he could get his freedom back; once he was free, he would be ready to open up his heart to people; he was never going to drag anyone into this mess; no one deserved it.
Sebastian scoffed, "So that's how it is? My touch infuriates you now, interesting," He had walked over to the bed and was standing in front of Zeno now.
He wanted to hold Zeno's face but Zeno leaned away, causing Sebastian to frown.
"I was fucking right," He muttered.
Zeno sighed and looked up at him, "If I found the one who warmed my heart, I wouldn't bring them into my mess, I'd wait until I was free from your clutches before I got together with them. Love is supposed to be honest, not hurting and false," Zeno slowly informed.
A sharp pain crossed Sebastian's heart.
So Zeno had been waiting for when their contract ended to get away from him?
Was he not really comfortable with him?
Was he the worst person to be with?
"You're not the first to leave me, Zeno, Ken's mother did, too," Sebastian shrugged.
Zeno remained silent, this was the first time Sebastian had ever mentioned his past to him.
He didn't mean to make him feel bad, he just wanted to state his mind.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"So, you're going to give Nicholas a chance? I've seen the pictures he sent you; you both look cute together; it'll be such a beautiful couple," Sebas chuckled.
"A beautiful gay couple," he added with a taunting smile.
Zeno's had it.
"Yes, I'd give him a chance, at least, he's everything you're not, Sebastian; he respects people and isn't judgemental nor prejudiced," Zeno replied a bit loudly.
This wasn't what he wanted that night; he had thought he'd have a quiet and peaceful night with Sebastian, but it turns out that things just never seem to work out between them.
Sebastian grew furious, "He was everything I'm not?" He asked, his tone dark and foreboding.
Zeno didn't reply, he simply raised his legs onto the bed and pulled the covers up, readying himself to sleep.
Sebastian was so furious as he saw that Zeno was ignoring him.
It was just one date with Nicholas, and Zeno was already giving him attitude; he wondered what it'd be like if he went on a second, third, fourth, fifth...no.
He wouldn't let that happen.
He went over to the bed placed his knee beside Zeno, and leaned down to Zeno's face that was facing away from him.
"It's good you've decided not to get in any relationship while still contracted with me; I told you I don't share, Zeno, and if I found out that you're lying to me, I'd kill whoever the fuck it is that warms your heart, it's a fucking promise. Don't forget, I can do it, I'm not called the "king" for nothing. I'm not done using you; I'll let you go whenever I please, don't fucking forget that, Mr. Evander," He stared at Zeno's side profile for a long while before he straightened up and walked out of the room in anger.
When he was sure Sebastian had left his room, he sat up and leaned against the headboard.
"What a night," He whispered.
He stared at the door and then stared at the other empty side of his bed, where Sebastian should have been lying.
"Fuck this, Zeno, stop being delusional, that man's a monster," He said to himself.
It was better they went back to how they were in the beginning than whatever it was they were turning into without their knowledge.
He picked his phone up and checked out the message Sebastian was talking about.
Truly, there was a message from Nicholas and images too.
As Sebastian had said, they looked cute together and probably would look that way to others. But to him, he felt nothing but a friendly ambiance from the picture.
He knew Nicholas was a great guy, and he would surely develop feelings for him if he gave him a chance, but right now, he wasn't going to.
He still had up to nine months to stay with Sebastian, it was a long time to keep someone waiting.
Maybe he should just let Nicholas know about his condition, keeping Sebastian anonymous, of course.
He knew Nicholas was open-minded and wouldn't judge; he'd understand. It'll be left to him to choose if he'll wait or not.
After a lot of thinking and talking to himself, Zeno decided to force himself to sleep, he felt as if tomorrow was going to be a busy day.
That night, Zeno was deep in sleep when he suddenly felt the other side of his bed deep in as if someone was quietly getting on his bed.
Zeno sleepily opened his eyes and turned around on the bed to look at the person.
His calm heart started beating rapidly when he saw Sebastian staring intently at him as he sat on the bed, shirtless and sexy.
No, he shouldn't be thinking about that; they weren't on good terms yet.
They were still at war.
Sebastian saw Zeno stare at him for a few seconds before he closed his eyes and pretended to have gone back to sleep.
He ran his hand through his head and sighed.
He had tried.
He had tried different things to get him to fall asleep in his room, in his office, in the living room, even in the dining, but nothing worked.
The only thing on his mind was going back to Zeno's room and lying beside him, and here he was, after long hours of fighting that feeling.
He looked toward Zeno and contemplated if he should just drag him into his arms and call it a night, but he knew Zeno would resist him, they hadn't quite parted in good spirits.
"Zeno..." He called in a low groggy voice.
Zeno refused to answer, he pretended to be asleep, hugging the pillow tightly.
"Can I.... can I sleep with you tonight?" He asked very gently.
Zeno detected something strange in Sebastian's voice and slowly opened his eyes to look at him.
Sadness and loneliness were the two prominent emotions he heard from him.
"You can," Zeno replied in a quiet voice, staring at Sebastian's tired face.
He wished he could comfort him and tell him that everything would be alright, but they were nothing, they didn't have that kind of leverage over each other.
Sebastian slowly nodded; he blinked and quietly raised his legs to the bed, raised the covers, and lay himself straight beside Zeno.
There was a huge pillow-sized space between them, and Sebastian wished he could just roll over and hug Zeno to himself, but he was still scared of getting kicked out.
It was already a miracle that Zeno let him lay beside him.
"Goodnight," Zeno whispered and turned away from Sebastian but he knew that sleep was far away from him now.
He couldn't get himself to calm down; his heart was still very aware of the man beside him, and it wasn't giving him a break; it was yearning for Sebastian's touch; it wanted it to soothe the hurt it had caused before leaving his room.
But Zeno refused to give in; he wasn't going to let his heart rule him; he had a brain.
Sebastian was staring at Zeno's back, every cell in his body begging him to hold Zeno. The silence was so loud that Sebastian had to clear his throat.
He stared at the space between them one last time and suddenly rolled over, stopping right behind Zeno.
Zeno felt Sebastian behind him and tensed.
He wasn't tensed out of fear or anger, he was tense because his urge to be in Sebastian's arms had just sky-rocketed the moment Sebastian rolled over to him.
He could feel Sebastian's warm and soft breath on the side of his neck, but there was something else he noticed: a faint smell of wine...Sebastian had been drinking.
"C-can I hold you, Zeno?" Sebastian questioned in a gruff voice.
Zeno bit his lip and clutched the side of the pillow; he was hesitant.
"I know you're awake," Sebastian whispered.
Zeno slowly nodded, not wanting to pretend anymore, "Yes."
Sebastian didn't waste any second, the moment Zeno nodded, he put an arm around his waist and drew him plush against himself, hugging him from behind.
Simultaneously, both of them released a long soft sigh.
This was what they wanted, what they've craved all day.
"Ken missed you all day..." Sebastian quietly informed Zeno.
Zeno put his hand below the cover and held Sebastian's hand that was possessively holding his waist. "Just Ken? You didn't miss me too?" He asked, biting his lips immediately for asking such a dumb question.
"No..." Sebastian paused.
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