Chapter 189
"Hi, Zeno, can I come in?" Ken peeked his head into the door, looking at Zeno, who was sitting by the edge of the bed, topless.
Zeno raised his head to look at Ken and slowly nodded.
Tears were in his eyes, but at that point, he didn't care to hide it from the boy anymore; he was hurting so much that his protective walls had fallen, and he could not pretend to be strong anymore, but he wasn't.
He let him cry because he loved the boy so much, and this might just be the last time he saw him again. His father hurt him; he loved his father, but the man hurt him more than anything ever could.
If Zeno wanted to be brutally honest with himself, he'd tell the word that he was tired of leaving; maybe meeting his parents would be the best for him. He never knew there was a kind of love that could make one lose interest in life if he lost that love; Sebastian was that love for him and now that he'd finally lost him, he'd lost his will to live, too.
Yeah, he knew he was being stupid and unreasonable, wanting to take his life because a person chose someone else over him, but he couldn't help it; he loved Sebastian in an unhealthy way; toxic, maybe, but he loved him nevertheless.
"Are you crying?" Ken blinked with a frown as he walked over to Zeno; he dropped his shopping bag on the floor and hurried to Zeno.
He climbed on the bed and spread his arms for Zeno, "I'll hug you and you'll feel better, okay?" Ken said with a smile.
Zeno chuckled in between his sniff and nodded, turning to his side and engulfing Ken's warm body in his arms.
His tears fell harder.
This was one of the things he was going to miss, Ken's warmth. In the past, he had dared to dream of being a constant figure in the boy's life, he had thought he'd watch the boy grow alongside Sebastian, but it was all a dream, a false dream.
"Don't cry, Zeno... I feel like crying too," Ken whispered, patting Zeno's back as he hugged him.
Zeno smiled sadly, he wished life could be as easy as children perceived it, there would be no pain or heartbreak in a child's world, just love and happiness.
Zeno's ears perked up when he heard the footsteps walking toward them, he knew it was Sebastian. He hugged Ken tighter, wishing Ken's warmth would melt away all his pain and give him the courage to say his last goodbye to the only man he would ever love.
Sebastian was barely holding himself together, his heart felt like sharp claws were embedded in it and roughly tearing it apart. His pain as he stared at Zeno was unimaginable, he was part, no... he was the reason for Zeno's pain.
He took cautious steps toward him, but all he wanted was to replace Ken's position, holding Zeno tightly to himself and assuring him that everything was going to be okay.
"Zeno..." He called softly when he reached his side.
Zeno sniffed and reluctantly released Ken, but he didn't look up at Sebastian.
"Wait," Ken jumped down the bed and returned with a box of tissues, "Here, I'll wipe your tears," he helped Zeno wipe his face and eyes.
"Thank you," Zeno's voice was cracked.
"You're welcome; you can count on me; I'm not like Dad, who always makes you cry," Ken patted Zeno's back.
"Kenneth?" Sebastian called, disappointed.
He had asked Ken to come to help him out, but it seemed like the boy really wanted him to lose his relationship.
Ken looked at his father and shrugged, glaring at him. He was angry at him for making Zeno cry.
Sebastian sighed quietly, "Can I sit?" He cautiously asked, pointing to the space beside Zeno.
Zeno nodded, still not looking at him, his pain would double if he saw Sebastian's face, the face he'd grown obsessed with.
Sebastian lowered himself onto the bed beside Zeno, his hand moved to hold Zeno's but he brought it back to his lap.
He stared at Ken, silently asking him to start the conversation as they agreed.
Ken looked vengeful for a second; if not that he also wanted Zeno to stay, he would have just encouraged Zeno to leave his father since his father only made him sad.
Ken was kneeling on the side beside Zeno, holding his hand, he looked up at Zeno and smiled, "Zeno, I'm seven already," He started.
Zeno looked at him with a sad smile, "I know, Ken, you're all grown up now," He gently patted Ken's hand.
Ken nodded, keeping his smile on, "Yeah. I'm still a kid, but I'm becoming more aware of my surroundings and feelings, too. Dad got me a psychology guide, Ms. Luna; she's a great teacher; she helped me understand most of my feelings since I'm on my way to becoming an adult soon," He giggled.
Zeno felt himself smiling, too, he couldn't resist Ken's giggle.
"She must be great, then," He replied.
Ken nodded, "One time, I fought with my best friend when we were playing in school," Ken informed him.
Zeno frowned, "Why?" He was curious.
Ken sighed, "I didn't know why, too, but when I told Ms. Luna the reason I fought, she told me it was normal, that I was just jealous. Could you believe it? A man is never jealous, that's what Dad used to say, but that's a lie, he said that to make me be like him, hard on the surface and a crybaby on the inside -"
"Kenneth," Sebastian called in a warning tone.
"Fine, I was digressing," He giggled again.
Zeno couldn't believe that gearing a seven-year-old to speak to him would make him feel so relieved as if he was speaking to a professional therapist; Ken had a way of diffusing his tensed emotions.
"I had fought him because he was giving Camilla gifts, you remember her, right? The girl with two Dads?" Ken asked suggestively, glancing at his Father.
Zeno narrowed his eyes for a while before he recalled meeting August and Dave at the park a long time ago, their little girl was Camilla.
He smiled at Ken, "So, you had a crush on Camilla and got jealous when your best friend brought her gifts?" He asked.
Ken nodded, "Correct. But we're good now; I told him I liked her, and I told her too, terms out she liked me back. Dad said I can date her when I'm eighteen," he said the last part excitedly.
Zeno glanced at Sebastian for a second and returned his eyes to Ken, "That's great then, eighteen is just the right age," He patted Ken's head.
Zeno was wondering why Ken was saying all these, though how does it relate to his predicament?
"Yeah. You, too... that's why you're crying, right? Because you're jealous of Dad? You think he loves that boring lady, right?" Ken asked in a whisper.
Zeno's attention was piqued, he fully turned to face Ken and asked, "What do you mean? What do you know?" He tried not to be too eager.
"Just like me, you're jealous of someone you love, but because you have no one to fight over it with, you're crying," Ken chuckled, poking Zeno's cheeks.
Zeno didn't know whether to laugh or cry at Ken's emotional attack, the boy was slowly offloading his loaded gun at him.
Sebastian was sitting quietly beside Zeno, proudly watching his son help him salvage his relationship. He made the right choice by asking him to help, Zeno wouldn't have listened to a word he said.
"For a long time, I was angry; I hated him, I hated Sakura, I even hated my cute little brother, Cloud, because I thought my Dad really loved Sakura; I was angry he betrayed you; I wanted it to be just you, Dad, and I. I was so sad when you left, Zeno... Dad was, too." Ken hugged Zeno, placing his head on his shoulder.
"I love you, Zeno, and I wish it could just be you and I, I don't like Fad that much either. But he loves you, too, and I hate that you might just love him more than you love me, right?" Ken suddenly broke off from the hug and pointed a suspicious finger at Zeno's face.
Zeno smiled, "No, I don't love him that much, I love you most," He assured Ken.
Ken hugged him again, "That's awesome, then, he can just keep being the third wheel... but he loves you so much, Zeno, that's why we're here in Paris, in a new home, and doing some boring renovations he doesn't even like," He frowned.
"What makes you think he loves me, Ken? He's engaged to -"
"Sakura, I know," Ken smirked at Zeno and waved him closer so he could whisper something in his ear.
Zeno moved forward and put his ear in front of Ken's mouth, "It's fake, Could is-"
"Thank you, Kenneth, I've got it from here," Sebastian gently pushed Ken's face away from Zeno's ear.
Zeno was left shocked; he was still trying to process what Ken meant by 'fake.' He'd seen Sebastian and Sakura with his own eyes; he'd heard them talk just this morning; how was it fake?!
"Here, Zeno, I got your style of clothing," He handed Zeno the shopping bag.
"Thank you, Ken," Zeno took the bag from him, smiling.
"You're welcome," He replied.
Ken's smile instantly dropped when he turned to look at his father, "I'm leaving; you better keep to your word, Dad; if not, I'll make sure he leaves you; I'll tell Abuelo," Ken threatened before walking out of the room.
Sebastian didn't take Ken's threat as a joke; the boy was developing a mind of his own, so he had no choice but to make sure that Zeno stayed at all costs.
"Zeno..." He placed a gentle hand on Zeno's waist, "Can you look at me now, I'll tell you everything," His voice was just over a whisper as he slowly shifted himself closer to Zeno.
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