SEQUEL: TWENTY-ONE

Alina didn’t realize how long she had been staring at her mother’s past, not till she looked outside the window to find the sky stained red, the clock reading 4:05 PM, she had spent hours looking at these pictures. There wasn’t a lot of them, she just tended to zone out while looking at them, only to come to and find tears staining her cheeks.
She wondered if her life would have been different if her mom was still alive… There was no time to think about that now though, she couldn’t even blame her father for not talking about her. Some types of hurt never healed so it was better to lock them up somewhere.
Only after carefully gathering the fading polaroids back into the plaid scarf with the intention of getting a much better photo album to put them in, did she leave for the living room. The sight of the abandoned pizza box on the center table made her realize just how hungry she was.
She picked it up and after making sure it was still edible decided to reheat it. She poured herself a glass of wine and paced in the kitchen as the microwave slowly hummed in the background.
It felt like fate that she would find something as important as her mother’s pictures when she was in such a low place. Alina realized then just how lonely she had always been, and how important Madeline was to her. There were very few people who wouldn’t care about her standing and be with her for who she was, she couldn’t lose her best friend.
But before that, she had a couple of things she needed to sort out, even before she paid a visit to Roman. She wanted to dye her hair back to its natural color. It was such a big decision, one she had made quite easily.
She hadn’t seen her natural color on herself since she was fifteen, she was twenty-four now and she couldn’t imagine how she would look with it. The microwave dinging brought her out of her thoughts, and she placed the now empty glass in the sink before taking out the pizza.
After plating it, she looked longingly out the window where a family was out on their porch, their kids playing in the yard. Unfortunately, a simple life like that wasn’t for her, she turned away and went to the living room to watch some meaningless shows while she absently ate her lonely dinner.
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The next morning had Alina up early for the very first time since she started living at the cozy house. She usually slept in because she felt depressed and didn’t know what to do with herself while she was awake but now it felt like she had gotten some clarity and a purpose.
Fortunately, the people on Yellowhaven Street minded their business, they were friendly but didn’t go out of their way to bother Alina. She hid her identity as she walked down to a hair salon she had seen while she was getting groceries. Her personal hair stylist would be upset to find out that she had done such a drastic change somewhere else but Alina didn’t care.
It just felt right that she would do it on the street that her mother had lived in once, so she pushed that niggling thought out of her head and picked up the pace. She was dressed in a white sundress that had come in with the clothes she ordered, she had just told the boutique her size and preferences and they had done the rest, the sundress had been their doing.
Maybe it was the homely street influencing her decisions because, on a normal day, she wouldn’t have worn something so dowdy. It skirted just above her knees and had slender straps for sleeves, it looked so out of place on her that she was sure that no one would recognize her even if she didn’t have a mask and sunglasses on.
She stopped in front of the salon that had ‘Tara’s Hair’ written in fancy cursive in front of it. It was clearly an old shop but it had recently been repainted, the soft pink paint glowing in the morning sun.
There was a quiet ding when the opened the sliding glass door, making the people in the salon turn to stare at her. There were about five hairdressers all doing different things and a single customer who was getting a hair cut.
A long silence followed her entrance until the oldest hairdresser broke it, “I apologize for that, welcome to Tara’s Hair, what can we help you with today?”
Alina took in a deep breath and stepped forward while taking off her glasses, “I’d like to dye my hair.” She said quietly.
The older hairdresser that had spoken to her shared a look with another hairdresser that looked closer to age with her before walking over. “Of course! We can do that, please have a seat,” She offered, her greying hair cut very short.
Alina did as was told, staring at her reflection in the mirror in front of her. Her wide eyes looked terrified, she hoped the hairdresser couldn’t see it.
“I’m Tara, it’s nice to have you, what exactly are you going for?” The older lady asked politely.
Alina kept her mask on and took another deep breath before going into detail about what she wanted, she also made sure to tell the hairdresser that she had been bleaching her hair for quite some time.
Tara gave her a warm smile, “Got it, you don’t need to worry, I’ve been a hairstylist for far longer than that, I’ll treat your hair right.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Alina mumbled under her breath.
“That’s good because you shouldn’t be worried about how you’d look with that hair shade, it’s yours so of course it’ll look right.” She added before turning to have a conversation with one of her workers.
Alina went silent after the hairdresser’s words, she had realized that she had said her fears out loud but she was kind of glad that she did because she had really needed to hear to words.
Tara quickly got to work, it was still morning so there weren’t a lot of customers which was a relief because Alina wasn’t sure she would be able to handle so many people around her when she was making a monumental decision.
Tara quickly picked up on the abject terror in her eyes when she was about to begin dyeing after she had chosen out the perfect color, “If you like, we could do this without mirrors and you can look at yourself when we’re all done.” She said softly.
Alina looked at the hairdresser with grateful eyes, her personal hairstylist would have never been able to predict what she needed with just a simple glance. “Yes, thank you.” She said quietly, noting how differently people treated her when they didn’t know who she was. It was such a breath of fresh air because she knew that they weren’t doing it because she was their princess but because they wanted to be nice to a stranger.
Tara gave her a bright smile and immediately had the mirror in front of her covered by a sheet before getting to work. Her hands were gentle and swift, clearly the hands of someone incredibly experienced. It also felt quite intimate, like if she closed her eyes hard enough, she could picture her own mother doing her hair instead.
After what felt like forever, her hair was finally done. Tara sounded so excited for the transformation but Alina was too tense to share in her elation, she could hear her heart beat in her ears as Tara counted down to take away the sheet.
Alina fixed her big dark eyes on the mirror, her hands clenched into little fists to stop them from shaking. She wished Madeline was here to see this, or just anyone that meant a lot to her to share this big moment with her.
But her father hadn’t said a word when she first bleached her hair, and he never mentioned it after that, Alina almost believed that he genuinely didn’t notice. Lukas hadn’t cared for her blonde hair, he definitely wouldn’t care if she dyed it back and she had met Madeline after she bleached it. She loved Madeline but she doubted her friend would get how important this moment was for her.
The sheet fell away to reveal a deep mahogany brown, the new color of Alina’s hair made her skin paler, and her eyes bigger and darker. The entire store was cheering at this, and Alina was grateful for their support but the longer she stared at herself, the more she saw someone familiar.
Unable to tear her eyes away from the mirror, she took off her face mask and it instantly felt like she had been shot in the heart. She looked exactly like her mother, it was a similarity that hurt to see.
“How do you like it?” Tara asked softly and before Alina could respond, she spoke again. “You know, you remind me of someone I used to know.” Her soft voice turned sad.
Alina touched her face, opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She wasn’t sure she could piece words together without crying so she just nodded and quietly got to her feet. “Thank you,” She muttered, “How much will that cost?”
“You know what? It’s on the house, Johanna was always so good to me, I’d be happy to help anyone who reminds me of her.” Tara said kindly, walking off to the backroom. “Come back anytime!”
Alina had been in the middle of reaching into her purse but when she heard her mother’s name, she froze. Tara hadn’t just been saying that to be nice, she had actually met her mother.
Alina had so many questions, she wanted to know what her mother was like, what she liked, what she disliked, her favorite hair cut… However, she was just one inch away from breaking down completely so she couldn’t remain at the hair salon.
So instead of stopping Tara much like she wanted and bombarding her with all the questions she always had, she dashed for the door and hurried out.
Only after she had gone some distance from the hair salon did she realize that she left her sunglasses and face mask in the salon so there was nothing protecting her identity anymore.
Covering her hands with her face was counterintuitive and she couldn’t return to the salon so she had to brave the trip back to her house. Surprisingly, not one single person recognized her, she got some looks and even some compliments on her hair but they had all been from kind people to a random stranger.
By the time she got to her apartment, she felt more like herself again but that only lasted till she got to her bedroom. The red scarf which was placed by her bedside dresser was the first thing she saw then she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and that was enough for the tears to come pouring.
For the very first time, she felt like herself, she felt grounded. It was the one thing she had done for herself, not for Lukas or to get her father’s attention.
She had thought she would hate it immediately because of how much her hair reminded her of her mother but two hours had passed and in that time, she found herself picking in the mirror just to catch a glimpse of herself. Her eyes were puffy from crying but it didn’t dim her smile,