Waiting for the results
RENEE'S POV
Dr. Lynd’s gaze held mine, and for a moment, time seemed to freeze. My heart pounded so loudly in my ears that I wondered if she could hear it too. She remained silent for what felt like an eternity, and in that brief pause, I wondered if maybe she was trying to prepare me for the worst.
I could feel my hands trembling, my fingers gripping the edge of the exam table so tightly that my knuckles were white. I wanted to say something, to ask her to just say it already, but the words wouldn’t come.
Finally, Dr. Lynd sighed softly, setting the tablet down on the desk with a click. She looked at me with an expression that seemed almost too calm, as though she had seen this moment countless times before. But for me, it was the first time.
“The results are…” She paused again, her voice steady but with an undercurrent of something I couldn’t quite place. “The results are inconclusive.”
My breath hitched in my throat. I stared at her, unsure whether I had heard her correctly.
“Inconclusive?” I repeated, my voice cracking slightly as I struggled to process her words.
Dr. Lynd nodded, her brow furrowed slightly. “It appears that the initial signs didn’t confirm a pregnancy, but there is still a possibility. We’ll need to do more tests to be absolutely certain.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. "More tests?" I whispered, almost to myself. This couldn’t be happening.
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Lynd said, her voice gentle but firm. “I know this isn’t the news you were hoping for. But it’s important to be thorough. We want to ensure the best possible outcome, one way or another.”
My head was spinning. The world around me felt like it was shifting, as though the ground beneath my feet was no longer solid. Inconclusive? That word echoed in my mind, ringing louder than anything else. I had been preparing for a definite answer, one way or the other, but this was a cruel limbo. Nothing had changed. I was still stuck in uncertainty.
“I don’t…” My voice faltered. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to scream, to demand answers, but what could I even ask?
Dr. Lynd seemed to sense my frustration. She stepped closer, offering a comforting smile, though I could tell it was one of professional sympathy rather than personal understanding. “I know this is hard,” she said, placing a hand on the back of the chair in front of me. “But we have to take the next steps carefully. There’s still hope, and we’ll continue to monitor things closely.”
Hope? What hope? Everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers. The dream I had held onto for so long of helping Ethan, of fulfilling this surrogacy was suddenly slipping out of reach. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat, but it didn’t go away.
And then the money, he gave me to carry his baby.
Will he make me pay it, if I fail to conceive?!
Before I could respond, the door opened again, and I almost jumped, startled by the intrusion. Ethan walked in, his face serious, his eyes scanning the room before settling on me. He didn’t say anything at first, just looked between Dr. Lynd and me, his expression unreadable.
“Ethan…” I started, but my voice cracked, and I couldn’t finish the sentence.
Dr. Lynd nodded toward him, her tone clinical. “We’re still waiting on the confirmation, Mr. Ethan. It’s inconclusive at this stage. More tests are required.”
Ethan’s jaw tightened, and for the first time since I had known him, I saw a flicker of something like concern in his eyes. It was brief, but it was there. Then, his expression went back to its usual, guarded demeanor. He nodded, his voice calm but firm. “I understand.”
I was still reeling from the news, the words echoing in my head, when he turned to me. “We’ll get through this,” he said quietly, but I couldn’t find any reassurance in his words. All I could hear was the uncertainty hanging in the air. I had expected him to be the strong one, the one with the answers, but he looked as lost as I felt.
For a long moment, none of us spoke. The weight of the silence between us was suffocating, and it seemed to stretch on, making everything feel even more uncertain.
I tried to steady my breathing, but it was no use. The uncertainty of it all Dr. Lynd’s words, Ethan’s silent presence was suffocating. My thoughts were a mess, spinning out of control, and I couldn’t focus on anything but the crushing weight of what had just been said. Inconclusive. What did that even mean? Was there still hope? Or was it all slipping through my fingers, like sand I couldn’t grasp?
Ethan’s eyes were on me now, intense and steady, but there was something in his gaze that unsettled me. It wasn’t the usual cool, controlled look he always wore. There was a flicker of something deeper, something unspoken. He stepped closer, but I backed away slightly, the distance between us now feeling like an impenetrable wall.
“We’ll figure this out,” he said again, his voice calm but distant. It was almost as if he was trying to convince both of us. His words should have reassured me, but instead, they only made me feel more adrift. Was he saying that for my benefit, or for his own?
I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came. What could I say? The reality of it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I had entered this journey with such clarity, believing in the importance of what I was doing, but now it was all just an endless string of uncertainty. Nothing was guaranteed, not even the very thing I had hoped for most.
The silence stretched between us again, and Dr. Lynd shifted, as if she were waiting for something to happen. Ethan’s hand hovered near mine, but he didn’t reach for it. Instead, he turned back to Dr. Lynd.
“What do we do next?” His voice was steady, professional. The way he asked made it seem as though this was just another obstacle to overcome in a long string of tasks. I could see his mind already moving on, calculating the next step, but I couldn’t bring myself to be as composed.
Dr. Lynd glanced at the notes on her tablet again before answering. “We’ll schedule another test in a few days. We’ll monitor hormone levels and see if there’s any progress or change. I’d recommend some bed rest as well, just to ensure there are no additional complications.”
I nodded numbly, still unable to fully process her words. More waiting. More tests. More uncertainty. It felt like the endless cycle would never end.