Sympathy
BANE'S POV
My fists clenched in annoyance, "And then let you die? Look Renee . I don't know what the heck vou were thinking to even leave the pack. What, did you think you were going to survive alone out there? You were lucky you only encountered a few of the enemies lurking outside if not-."
My words came fast and my regret came just as quick. I saw her eyes tearing up and I cursed at myself.
Why am I so bad at this? Why doesn't my heart like her?
"Just leave. I'll be fine." She said turning away. I heard her voice in my head. Strangely enough, I could feel her emotions although it was a very light feeling. It made me wonder since I haven't put my mark on her yet.
My words hurt her.
I sighed, running a hand through my face and up to my hair, messing it up. I undid the first two buttons of my dress shirt and sat back.
"I'm sorry." I whispered but the words were also strange to me.
'You're sorry?' my wolf had the nerve to tease me.
However, she didn't say anything. She didn't even look back to me.
Silence reigned for a few minutes and all I could hear was her escaping sobs. I would be lying to say that seeing her cry didn't stir up something inside me. Watching her body heave up and down as she tried not to make a sound.
Already she was beaten badly, here I was unable to make her feel any better and I end up making her feel worse.
Why do I always mess things up?
"Renee." I finally called to her, but as expected, she didn't answer. "Renee, look at me." I tried another time. My hand reached out to her shoulder. The sparks that set off with the touch caught me momentarily off guard. "Look at me, please."
'Please?' my wolf asked again.
'Will you shut up.', I snapped at my wolf. I knew why it was provoking me. This wasn't me.
The magic word worked and Renee turned back towards me, trying her best to sit up. The traces of her tears ran along her face and as if under a spell, I found myself touching her cheeks and wiping them away.
"I'm sorry." I apologized sincerely, though honestly, I didn't know for what. I had done so much hurt towards her that she didn't deserve that I had no idea what I was apologizing for.
Stunned, she stared at me for a while, before her tears streamed down again.
"I wish I could say that it's okay, but it's not. It hurts here Bane," she pounded over her left chest violently, but I was quick to go to her to stop her, "it hurts here."
I could hear the pain in her voice, she was hurting and I couldn't do anything about it. If anything, I was the cause of her pain.
"You're--" she sobbed, "y-you're right. You should have left me, and maybe I could have died. Then maybe, just maybe all this pain would stop." she said each word with such difficulty and such impact.
Her tears had been rolling down, her eyes bloodshot, her body full of bruises.
My mate was broken. All because of me.
I stared at her, stunned at what I had just heard from her.
It was probably the mate bond, surely it must have been. I didn't feel anything towards this weakling in front of me, so how come I felt compelled to take all of her pain away?
She had seen nothing but cruelty and I could see that whenever I looked at her. And maybe that was the reason why I didn't like looking at her. Because I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I could never take away the memories of the abuse that she's felt.
A bit hypocritical of me to speak that way because I've done nothing but add up to her pain. And thinking of how hurt and lonely she must've felt, something in me broke a little bit more.
Am I really this kind of person?
"You don't mean that." I started, sitting down on the bed in front of her. With one hand, I wiped her tears that. Ever so gently, I raised one of her arms and stared at the wounds. I had heard that when your mate was injured, being near them could help them to heal faster.
She huffed and shook her head lightly. By now, she had calmed down and was trying to pace her breathing. For a while, none of us had spoken and I felt her observing me when I stood up and picked up a basin from inside a cupboard and filled it with hot water. Luckily, there were cloths inside the medicine compartment and a few ointments.
I went back to her, taking her arm and wiping them with hot water when she flinched.
"It's going to hurt." I whispered.
"You don't have to do this, go back to the pack house." she said.
"What for? I have no more business there. Stop trying to reject my help."
"Your luna must be waiting for you."
At that, I stopped and looked up to meet her eyes. She tried to hide the betrayal that she felt, but the sentiment she held must have been strong for her not to hide what she felt, and she was so good at that.
"Carlo can take care of herself." I started wiping the dirt off her skin once again. "Your safety comes first." I was surprised at what came out from my mouth, my thoughts spilled themselves out of my mouth. Damn.
"Safety... I guess you can say I am safe. But I am never safe of you."
Again, I looked up to her and she looked stunned at what came out of her mouth. However, I thought of one thing.
What does she even mean?
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