So nervous
RENEE'S POV
I walked down the hall, taking in the beauty of the decor. A red carpet led the way. The thickened walls helping me stay on track. I slowly walked as I admired the pictures hanging from the wall. None of these pictures were photographs, all seemed to be hand painted work. Family portraits to paintings of nature's beauty.
I came to a door. Old brown wooden oak. Looked to be built with strength behind it. I raised my hand to knock. However, it felt as though something was stopping me from knocking.
Guilt?
Fear?
Panic?
Unwillingly, my conscious had forced me to do it. My beating heart pounding simultaneously with every knock.
The door opened. Her face was plain, unaware of the secrets I was here to tell.
"Whats up?" She opened the door wider for me to enter. Hesitantly, I accepted.
"Checking in on you."
"Im a big girl momma." She toyed as she plopped down on to the bed. "Whatever." I followed her lead.
How can I start this awkward conversation? Where I can begin?
"Still nervous about meeting his family tomorrow?" She asked.
"Huh? Uh yeah. Sort of."
Thanks for reminding me of the second problem that was lingering around me.
"Relax. You got me behind you."
Oh cool. You and I can definitely beat an entire fleet of werewolves. "Thanks." I laughed.
An awkward silence fell between us. For as long as we knew each other, this sort of silence was always avoidable. Something was not being said..between us both.
"Renee?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever felt as though there was more to just...us? I mean, secrets that was unknown. Well, unknown to us."
"Unknown secrets? Like ....Ε.Τ?" "No...well...something of that sort." I smirked.
"Of the supernatural?" "Well...yeah." She said confidently.
"Well like what?" I felt a little more comfortable with this start.
"Lets see. Like ghost. Or demonic creatures."
"Demonic creatures?" I questioned. "You know. Like the bulshit you see on paranormal activity. Crazy ass demons."
I laughed. Sort of hopeful that she is open for the most. Believer I would say. Better then I was.
"Why do you ask?" She questioned. "Just...curious to know."
"Mhm." She shot me a look before she stood up and walked over to the vanity. "Niyah, why did that lady call you Luna?"
"Huh?"
"The lady. The one that greeted us at the door. She kept calling you Luna or something."
"Oh that." I laughed, hiding the panic that was in me. "Their from a different background. Its a cute little nickname I would say."
"Woo nicknames? So soon?" She laughed.
"Yeah I guess." She laughed.
"Renee?" I needed to change the topic to a more targeted one. "How do you feel about...Brent?"
She turned and looked at me. Curiosity obviously hidden behind her eyes, desperately trying to figure out where this came from.
"Wait. How did we go from Paranormal shit and nicknames to a random guy in here?" She questioned.
"Just...a switch in topic."
Not exactly. The three topics are more linked together then she thinks. "Well I dont like this switch in topic." She turned away.
Renee has always been blunt about how she felt, especially her crushes. She never held back but now, she seemed..quiet.
"How do you feel?"
She looked up at me through the vanity mirror. She was here, but almost spaced out. She picked up a hair brush and ran it through her hair before pulling it into a ponytail.
"If I told you I feel nothing, I know you wouldn't believe me."
No. I wouldn't.
"I feel....stupid." She admitted.
"Why?" I asked.
"I feel stupid for even looking his way. Hell, I feel stupid in his presence. Its like he mentally forces me to want to impress him. Sometimes I promise myself that I wouldn't even bother with him but when I see him, its like I want to catch his attention."
She stopped speaking and turned and looked at me.
"Yeah I know, it sounds ridiculous but...I dont know."
"No. It sounds sort of...normal."
"Not for me. It sounds childish. You know me Renee ."
"Yeah, yeah I know." I smiled. "But.. I dont want anything between us."
"What? Why?" "I just cant be put into anything at the moment. Just want to focus on me. I lack the time for boys in my life. Their too much." She said.
Was it the lack of time for men or the fear of being hurt? I knew Jess was a strong girl but I knew it was only so much a girl could take.
"Are you..nervous? I mean, of jumping into a relationship."
"No." She whispered.
"Renee? Are you scared?"
She turned and looked at me. Her eyes wide, something filled behind them. Fear? Anger?
"I.." She sighed out. "I dont want to be hurt. I just cant take anymore pain. So the best way to avoid the trouble, is to stay away from..him."
"You think Bane is trouble?"
"He looks like a player. A man whore or something." She shook her head. "I stay away from those sort of guys."
She did not know Bane the way I did. She looked at him, his handsome face forces him to be mistaken as a player, a man whore, a dog.
Ha! Dog.
No time to laugh at my own jokes.
"Bane is...a good guy really. I doubt he would ever cause anyone, especially you, any harm or hurt."
Pure silence was left in the room. She seemed too focused on the mental debate with herself to even respond. Finally, she shook her head in doubt. She couldn't believe the truth, or she just didn't want to. Her way of keeping herself safe I presume.
Who could blame her for her fear or doubts? She saw the harm and damage some men could leave. How they could be so careless to certain women. And I know Renee's heart could not take anymore hits. She would go mad.
I could see the sadness in her eyes through the reflection of the vanity mirror. I knew how the death of her mother left a permanent scar on her heart.
"Renee-"
"I just need some time alone." She choked. "Please."
I nodded, obeying her request for some privacy as I stood up to leave. I wanted to stay with her but I could see when she needed the space for now.
She was confused I could see. She was scared of her heart's cry to be with him. I just hope things go right with her, with them.
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