A Charade
**Sarah**
After Kael made his promise to prove his love for me through actions, even though I found it ridiculous, my feelings were in complete turmoil. Without even thinking about what I was about to do, I grabbed the nearest object and threw it against the door.
It was my cell phone, and I ended up damaging it, which only increased my agitation. I had never thrown objects around before, let alone with the intent of releasing my frustration.
"What happened?" Maira asked, entering the room.
I glanced at the floor where the phone lay, still intact but probably no longer functioning. She followed my gaze and realized what I had done, picking up the device from the floor. As expected, the screen was cracked in several places.
"I imagine you didn't agree," she commented with a hint of sadness in her voice.
"You're mistaken," I corrected my sister. "He came to ask for forgiveness, and I forgave him. There's nothing more to discuss."
She didn't insist, and I made an effort not to think about the expression on Kael's face and how he seemed completely devastated. I knew, however, that it wasn't the false love he expressed that caused that expression on his face. It was the guilt weighing on him because, in the name of senseless revenge, he had caused great suffering to someone innocent in the dirty plot of that story.
"I won't be able to go out to fix your device."
"I don't care."
I didn't look at my sister; I knew her expression wasn't the best. Instead, I turned my face in the opposite direction, making it clear that I wasn't interested in talking. My mind was filled with thoughts, all related to Kael. I kept wondering how everything could have gone so wrong, and I realized that, despite the harsh words I had directed at him, I still had feelings for him, even if those feelings were mixed with hatred. It was an emotional turmoil.
"I'll prove with actions what I feel in my heart." Those words echoed in my mind and stirred something in me, despite my attempts to deceive myself.
"Are you in pain or something?" Maira is already standing beside me.
"No. Why do you ask?"
"You can't stop moving for a single moment," she points out, and only then do I notice it. "Look, you moved your right foot a bit!"
I'm almost incredulous at her words and try to move again, but I can't.
"You don't need to feel this way," she tries to console me. "I'm sure I saw you move your foot. It's just a matter of time before you make other movements."
I decided not to voice my doubts at that moment to avoid creating more discomfort between us. I really don't believe I moved my foot; I assume it was some involuntary spasm, something I've heard about in cases like mine.
However, shortly after, the doctor enters the room for the morning visit. After a detailed examination, especially in the area of the lower limbs where contrary to what Maira claimed, the lack of sensitivity is evident, I became alert.
"The results of the tests we were waiting for have come, Miss Mitchell."
My gaze immediately turns to Maira, uncertain about the diagnosis, fearing the worst. She holds my hand, trying to convey some comfort.
"Am I paralyzed, doctor?" I ask the crucial question.
"Yes, you are paralyzed," the doctor confirms, but there's a hint of a smile on his face.
Before the doctor could continue speaking, Maira interrupted him almost in desperation.
"But isn't it reversible? I saw her move her foot, doctor. I'm sure I saw it."
"So, we have good news. The spinal cord injury has been successfully treated, and the paralysis is indeed reversible. However, it will take time and effort. Miss Mitchell will need intensive physiotherapy and a gradual rehabilitation process. There is still a long road ahead, but the prospects are positive."
The smile on my sister's face reveals her joy at the news, but a disturbing thought begins to take shape in my mind. I feel bad for considering this possibility.
However, as the doctor explains my condition and what will be required for my recovery and rehabilitation, that idea gains strength. After all his recommendations, he shares another piece of news.
"I can't believe you'll be discharged tomorrow, Sarah!" Maira celebrates.
"Today is the last day of medication, and we will remove the immobilization from your foot. So, you can go back home," the doctor continues the explanation, visibly pleased to give his patient good news.
Going back home. The idea seems tempting, but as the doctor departs and Maira celebrates the reversibility of my paraplegia, questions invade my mind. Which home can I truly return to?
Hillary's residence would be an option if it weren't for the fact that it's not my home and requires considerable support to deal with my current condition. Something she can't provide, given the nature of her work that demands constant travel, as it is now when she left for the next stage of the championship.
On the other hand, it wouldn't be fair to impose such responsibility on a friend who has already been generous by inviting me to stay with her in London, allowing me to save some money from my salary. However, my savings are limited, and how can I afford the costs of physiotherapy, aqua therapy, and all the other needs the doctor highlighted?
I had so many questions that a headache was beginning to manifest. Maira noticed that I wasn't ecstatic about the good news and scrutinized me with attention, sensing my unease, even though I tried to hide it.
"You don't seem as happy with the good news," she observes.
I try to disguise my uncertainty about the future as I look at her.
"I am happy with the news. Just a little overwhelmed still," I lie.
Once again, the reckless thought that occurred to me earlier returns to haunt me, and I seriously consider putting it into practice.
"Hillary has been trying to call me," Maira informs me, pointing to her cellphone screen. "I don't think she's able to reach you."
In reality, it means Hillary has tried to contact me, but my phone is in pieces.
"Maira!" I call her, interrupting her before she answers the call.
She declined the call, even without understanding my request. I stare at her, seeking the courage to express what I want her to do.
"I don't want people to know that my condition is reversible," I explain my decision.
"But why? It's Hillary!" Maira protests.
I gather my thoughts to explain the plan taking shape in my mind, anticipating her indignation.
"It won't be for long," I try to soften it. "I just need to test how far this 'love' Kael claims to feel for me goes." I make air quotes when I mention the word "love."
Maira furrows her brow, clearly confused and concerned about where the conversation is heading.
"Sarah, you can't be serious. This is absurd! Manipulating Kael's feelings like this is neither fair nor ethical. He's been devastated since the accident, and you want to play with his emotions?"
Ignoring her words, I continue:
"I just need some time to figure out what he really feels for me. If he truly loves me, he will understand my reasons."
Maira shakes her head, disbelief written on her face.
"And if he gets hurt? Sarah, this isn't an experiment, these are real emotions of real people!"
"I know, Maira, but I need to be sure. Besides, if he really cares about me, he will do this for me. Please, just help me execute this plan. I need you to call Kael and tell him that my condition is permanent, that there is no hope of recovery."
Maira lets out a frustrated sigh.
"This is unfair, Sarah. What if I do this, and things spiral out of control? What if Kael distances himself forever when he finds out the truth?"
"I need this chance to understand what's really happening between us," I explain.
Maira runs her hand through her hair, clearly struggling with the decision. She finally sighs and looks at me with a resigned expression.
"I don't agree with this, Sarah, but I'll do what you ask. However, if this goes wrong, know that you will be responsible for the consequences."
I nod, relieved to have her on my side, even if reluctantly.
"Thank you, Maira."
Maira's phone rings again, but this time it's Ryan.
"Do what we agreed on," she tells him.
As Maira talks to our brother – what an ironic twist of fate – my heart begins to beat faster. I know I'm playing with fire, but it's the only way to find out how deep Kael's love truly goes, even if it means deceiving a few people.
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