Dreaming or awake?
Rachel
I must be dreaming because it couldn't be real that Enrico was kissing me, with such eagerness and in such a passionate way. It just couldn't be.
But the taste of his mouth on mine was so real! His hands on my body, touching me everywhere were making me dizzy, completely limp in his strong and warm embrace, and I felt like I could fall if he wasn't holding me so close to his firm and hot body.
This is just a dream, Rachel... So, enjoy it! A dangerous little voice whispered in my head.
And since my mind has always been my best guide, I did exactly what that little voice was whispering for me to do, and I completely surrendered to the moment, wrapping my arms around Enrico's neck and pressing even closer to him.
Our bodies were so close that I could perfectly feel a hard and exciting bulge against my sex, and desire led me to rub against it in search of my daringlypleasure. Something completely insane given the current circumstances.
But that absurdly sensual pleasure is something I had not consciously experienced yet because the first time I had sex with Enrico, I was under the influence of alcohol and didn't remember much, something I intended to change now.
Thinking that way, I then brought my hands to Enrico's body, wandering all over him daringly, getting lost in his bare chest and then lowering them to the edge of the plush fabric of the towel wrapped around his waist. I undid the knot, and the towel fell.
"Aahh!" I moaned uncontrollably as I felt his mouth sucking on my neck.
I opened my eyes. I needed to see him in all his glory, and what glory, oh my!
"Enjoying the view?" Enrico teased, looking at me with a sly smile.
Enrico's question completely broke the spell, and I realized the obvious: This wasn't a dream!
"U-uh... sorry," I stammered horribly. "I... I have to go."
"Rachel!"
I didn't care to respond to Enrico's call and opened the bedroom door with surprising speed. I hurried down the corridor, and in less than two minutes, I descended the staircase and reached my little room next to the house's laundry area.
I had run away? Yes, I fled shamefully, and I didn't regret it for a moment. I couldn't sleep with Enrico. That had already ruined the grand plans I had for my life, and doing it now would be like reaching the bottom rung of the pit.
I know, a pit doesn't have rungs, but I didn't want to admit that I had fallen horribly to the bottom. Being almost there was bad enough.
"Why did I go to his room? Why!?" I asked myself aloud.
I was torturing myself, feeling terrible for being caught red-handed, practically lying on Enrico's bed, taking advantage of the fact that he wasn't home, and I felt lonely and needy, as I hadn't felt in a long time. My only company at that moment was Lindsay. There were no more parties and excitement. It was impossible to go back to the same places with my disfigured face.
Lindsay had made friends with the staff of Enrico's house and used her day off to hang out with Emma, the housekeeper, and Kylie, the maid, with whom she seemed to get along very well. Meanwhile, they didn't seem to like me much, although they didn't treat me with hostility. They simply didn't seek my company, and I didn't seek theirs either.
However, when I found myself alone at home, with nothing to do but stare at the TV, I began to wander through the house. Looking at my social media was out of the question. I hated seeing how everyone seemed to live intensely, happy, with their always perfect appearances, while I was in a terrible situation, without friends, without money, without a social life, and on top of that, with a horrible appearance.
I got lost in pessimistic thoughts and ended up standing in front of Enrico's bedroom door. I believe my unconscious led me there. The door was slightly ajar, and I entered without rationalizing what I was doing. Once inside Enrico's space, I began to scrutinize every detail, especially the photos of a very beautiful and smiling woman, whom I imagined was someone very important to him.
Not wanting to leave any traces that I had been in that room, feeling tired, I sat on the floor, near the bed, pondering the irony of the whole situation.
I had avoided Enrico so much! And now, here I was in his room, trying to find anything that could remind me of him, hoping to alleviate the longing I felt, although I would never let anyone know.
Enrico was a walking danger, capable of turning everything upside down. I didn't want to fall in love and suffer, just like my mother suffered with my father. I didn't want to go through everything she went through, knowing that her husband and the father of her daughters didn't love her and had a mistress for years. I preferred to marry for money, enjoy a luxurious life, and not care about my husband's whereabouts or company. All I needed was for him to indulge my expensive and extravagant tastes. The rest was just... the rest.
But dwelling on these thoughts made me fall asleep right there, sitting on the floor, with my torso leaning against Enrico's bed. When I woke up abruptly, realizing there was someone in the room, I panicked, not knowing who it was. I got up quickly, ready to escape as fast as possible, but ended up bumping into the statue that I was sure was extremely valuable.
To make matters worse, Enrico appeared in the room wearing only a towel, leaving me stunned with his bare chest, while I was still sleepy. It was a terrible combination of circumstances. Nervousness, fear, desire...
And Enrico grabs me and kisses me. It could only be a dream..., but it wasn't. And the taste of his lips was still in my mouth. I touched my lips delicately, feeling them slightly swollen from the intense and passionate way we devoured each other.
I needed to escape. And I would escape more times.
"I'm here!" Lindsay said, entering the dark room. "Did you miss me?"
I didn't answer. Lindsay was always so silly! But she also didn't usually let herself be affected by my constant bad mood and turned on the light, throwing herself on the bed next to me and hugging me excitedly.
"You should have come with us, Rachel," she said her favorite line. "It was so much fun! We met some guys, and even exchanged phone numbers."
I removed Lindsay's arms from my shoulders and moved closer to the edge of the bed, trying to increase the distance between us.
"How did you expect me to go if your little friends don't like me?"
"Oh, Rachel! Don't make it difficult."
"I'm just pointing out reality."
"You don't make an effort to be nice to anyone either," she said, as always, trying to make excuses for the "friends." "They're nice, give them a chance."
I was about to say that no, I wouldn't be humiliating myself for any servant when reality hit me. I am also one of the servants now. I chose to remain silent then.
"I know there's a good heart in there," Lindsay and her annoying optimism. "And when you understand that people are more important than anything else, your whole life will change."
"My whole life has already changed, Lindsay," I remarked with a desolate tone, "and it was for the worse."
Lindsay looked at me with pity and sadness, and once again hugged me against my will. I had to accept it and felt obligated to reciprocate.
"You never told me what happened between you and your sister, but I believe that maybe you're just reaping what you sowed, friend."
"I believe that too."
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