Moving On
Rachel
Even after making it clear that I didn't want to accept what Enrico had rudely offered me, we ended up having sex in the laundry room, something both irresponsible and thrilling, and I climaxed several times in a short span.
The problem lay in the fact that, soon after the satisfaction of our desire and the return of our breaths to normal, the reality of what had happened became evident. The only word I could find to describe what I felt at that moment was "insanity," complete and absolute insanity. I felt like I was going crazy, but at the same time, the awareness that it only happened because we both desired it made me set aside that feeling, as desire overcame all logic.
"Where are you going?" Enrico asked when he saw me hastily zipping up my jeans. "Let's talk!"
"I'm going back to my room right now," I said, not giving him a chance to say anything.
"You need to listen to me..." I wasn't paying attention anymore. "Rachel!"
Even though I tried to ignore him, I could still hear him calling me, but I was already moving quickly down the hallway and soon found myself inside my room, slamming the door shut and locking it with the key, all as a way to protect myself from myself. I repeated the same procedure with the bathroom door, and when I finally felt safe enough, I let out heavy tears, releasing all the feelings that had been pent up in my chest. Now, I was determined not to make any more mistakes, as I already had a long list of them in my life.
"What a damn man!" I exclaimed aloud, looking at myself in the small mirror on the wall. I sat on the toilet seat, with a single thought dominating my mind at that moment: home. I want my house, my family. I'm exhausted from feeling torn and confused, not knowing what I want, while accepting whatever Enrico offers me.
Now, finally, the complete awareness of the importance of having a supportive family and true friends was present in me. I missed my sister and my father. I missed being truly loved and cherished.
"I want to go back home..." I murmured to myself, knowing there was no one to hear me. But I no longer had a home. I no longer had a family. All because I made mistakes. I sabotaged those around me without any remorse. It felt like a veil had been lifted from my eyes, revealing reality as it truly was.
It was time to fight to regain my family, even if it meant facing criticism and misunderstandings, as long as they came from those who always wished me well, not from strangers like Joseph, who humiliated me for pleasure.
With this determination in mind, I took off my clothes and took a long shower, reflecting on everything I needed to do to find my true peace and the support of those I loved.
That's it. I love my sister, as I always loved my father and mother, but now with the clarity of how she was a harmful person to those she lived with and how her love for Patrick caused harm to other people.
The time has come to truly know my siblings and ask for a chance to create a relationship based on real feelings, without interests and falsity, as I did before.
After that moment of intense reflection, I left that bathroom, much stronger and determined, and went to the garden to do my work. Soon I would need all the money I could get to return to Seattle and rebuild my life.
"Hi," I greeted Lindsay and Joseph. They were playing cards at the garden table, something they always did, as Joseph liked to distract himself in that way, and Lindsay pleased him, even though she wasn't a good player.
"Hi," Lindsay replied, and Joseph just looked at me suspiciously.
"Can I play with you guys?" I asked with a smile.
"I thought you didn't know how to play cards," Joseph grumbled.
He even made a disgusted face upon hearing my suggestion, but Lindsay readily accepted and seemed happy to have me join them. That made me a little more confident in proceeding with the offer to join them.
"I don't know, but I can learn," I commented, sitting in one of the free chairs. "I didn't know how to do many things either, and I learned, you have to agree."
Joseph remained silent, and soon Lindsay was teaching me the rules of the game, which I considered I learned pretty quickly, as less than an hour later, I was celebrating my second victory over the two veteran players.
"You see?" I said to Joseph. "I'm doing pretty well, and you can't deny it."
"Better than Lindsay, certainly," he said, his words laden with irony, making us laugh at his sincerity. Lindsay was a terrible player.
We continued playing several rounds, and at the end of the game, I accompanied Joseph to his room. He seemed much less grumpy and boring than before. I helped organize some books he had scattered around the room and stayed by his side during tasks where he needed assistance, although the reason why Enrico had assigned two people to take care of his father was still a mystery. After all, Joseph seemed capable of doing most things on his own.
In my view, it seemed like Joseph needed more constant company to watch over him during the day and prevent him from doing anything harmful to himself. With two people around him all the time, this became more difficult, at least that was my assumption.
In the following days, I avoided Enrico as best as possible and tried to always be surrounded by other people. I was determined not to repeat the scene that had happened in the laundry room. After all, I wasn't an object he could use and discard at will.
This decision became even firmer when new headlines about a supposed involvement between Enrico and Tayla Corbin continued to appear in the media. I had already learned the power of the media and how some news could be distorted in various ways. Therefore, when Enrico approached me after his return to London, I figured the news about him and the Australian model were creations of the tabloids.
However, my doubt grew when I found out that Enrico had gone out to dinner again and saw several pictures of them together on the internet that night. I wasn't so sure anymore that the newspapers were lying about the matter.
"Again with that model?" Joseph suddenly commented, surprising me.
I thought I was alone in the kitchen on another night when Lindsay went out with Emma and Kylie. I was so focused on my phone that I didn't notice Joseph's presence behind me.
"Yeah, they seem to be together," I replied, trying to disguise all the feelings that were suffocating me.
I got up from the chair and turned my back to Joseph, pretending to look for a glass of water.
"Are you crying?"
Had he noticed? I hadn't even realized it myself until that moment.
"No, no," I denied, trying to smile to disguise it. "I saw a very funny video and ended up laughing so much that tears came."
"If you say so," Joseph didn't insist, waving it off and quickly changing the subject, suggesting, "Monopoly?"
"Not tonight," I declined, feeling embarrassed.
All I wanted now was to lie down on my bed and rethink everything I was planning to do in the coming weeks.
"New episodes of that series came out..."
On second thought, I wasn't going to surrender to despair again, and it was better to do something to distract myself.
"Let's go to the TV room," I accepted the suggestion, and Joseph smiled eagerly.
"Popcorn?"
"You can't break your diet again, Joseph!" I complained, annoyed. "Lindsay will blame me for it."
"Come on, let's just have some blackcurrant juice, then," he reluctantly agreed, even though visibly displeased.
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