Unconscious Desire
**Sarah**
Despite considering all the arguments Enrico used to justify the idea that we should date a load of nonsense, I agreed nonetheless. The truth was, he had done something significant for me. The job he managed to get me into was excellent, both in terms of salary and the work itself.
I had resonated a lot with the secretary role, and Hillary's help was also crucial in this regard. So, I owed Enrico a great deal, even though I believed what he was saying about Rachel was a complete absurdity.
It's true that we had a lot of disagreements after the auction incident and everything involving Kael, but that was entirely understandable given our delicate financial situation and her desperation due to the loan shark debt that required an extreme action, like the one we ended up taking, to raise the money quickly.
However, ever since that was resolved, I got my sister back, the one I've known since we were born and grew up with. Now that those problems are gone, Rachel is lighter, and I've noticed that our bond has returned to what it always was – something good that makes me very happy.
This dilemma about which side to choose was easy to solve, as I would never go against my sister, especially for someone I have no connection with, other than being grateful for the opportunity to work today.
However, Enrico's proposition for us to pretend to be a couple wouldn't harm Rachel in any way, and I even believe it would help her. This way, there wouldn't be a constant threat of Lorenzo discovering what happened when they met in Seattle. Although I became interested in Lorenzo, I would never compete for a man's attention with my sister, especially when she told me she was in love with him.
What happened between Lorenzo and me was a mistake, I knew that from the moment our lips parted. I was carried away by the emotion of his confession and the fact that he said he would end things with Rachel – perhaps that hit some sensitive point – and for that reason, I ended up agreeing with his decision.
Still, one thing is certain: since the first moment we met in Seattle, even though I would hardly admit it to anyone, especially not to Lorenzo, I also felt a different chemistry between us. Despite trying to control my emotions, I ended up in his arms at the first opportunity. However, it was completely different from the feeling Kael managed to evoke in me, and I can't explain how that's possible.
While with Lorenzo it was light and carefree, Kael always managed to shake my foundations. It's intense, taking me from extreme happiness to deep unhappiness in a matter of minutes.
Thinking about Kael brought back memories of our last day together when I felt like the happiest woman in the world just by being with him, enjoying moments of affection and desire. And suddenly, everything changed.
One sentence he used completely shook me, instantly altering my day, and the fact that his words held such power over my emotions is not healthy at all. I can't allow someone else to have that much control over me, and I realized that despite feeling drawn to Lorenzo, being with him or not didn't truly shake me.
Now that it's all over, I feel deep down that I responded to his kiss more out of curiosity – as if I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss a man who wasn't Kael – after having been with him, rather than a wild desire for him.
I took advantage of being in my room at Hillary's house, grabbed my phone, and did something I hadn't done since I left Seattle: I looked up news about Kael. Maybe I'd see that he was doing well and happy, maybe even parading around with some woman, but I still needed to know what was happening in his life and if that was the case.
To my complete relief, the photos in which he appeared with someone were all from a while ago, nothing recent. It calmed my heart in a comforting way. He might be getting involved with someone, but there was nothing serious enough for him to make it public yet.
"Hey!" Hillary called, entering my room. "Did you hitch a ride with Enrico? What's this new development?"
Hillary sat on the bed and waited for me to speak. I thought it would be best to tell her about the fake relationship right away.
"Enrico asked me to be his girlfriend, and I agreed," I blurted out.
"Wow! Now that's some news." Hillary burst out laughing, and I understood perfectly well why. "You two will give me quite a bit of work once everyone finds out about your relationship with Bianchi."
"I know." I did.
"Everyone is going to comment on the fact that the two main drivers in this competition are dating twin sisters. It'll be a feast for the media, and I'm sure it'll become an international headline, you can bet on that."
Hearing Hillary say that made me realize that might have been the main reason I agreed to date Enrico. Maybe I wasn't quite as honest and altruistic as I thought. Could it be that unconsciously, I did it to become news so that Kael would find out and get jealous of me?
If that were the case, I'm foolish, because he wouldn't care if I were dating a famous personality or anyone else. I need to accept that Kael doesn't care about me.
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