True Friendship
Rachel
By just a few minutes, Lindsay didn't find Enrico in our room, which would have been a real disaster. Shortly after he left my room, Lindsay entered the room, which made me quite nervous.
I didn't agree at all with Enrico's argument that our lives were nobody else's concern. After all, we all share the same house, and more importantly, I cared deeply about what Lindsay would think of me and my relationship with the boss if she found out about our secret encounters.
"Still awake?" Lindsay asked surprised, raising an eyebrow with a non-verbal question.
I was still sitting in the same position Enrico left me in when he exited the room, stunned by the scene that unfolded after our moments of intimacy. Moreover, I felt truly guilty for us separating that way after the amazing sex we had that night.
"I got up to use the bathroom," I lied, embarrassed, unable to meet my friend's eyes directly.
Luckily, the room was dimly lit, with the only illumination coming from the open bathroom door, where I purposely left the light on to brighten up the room a bit when I was alone before Enrico arrived.
"I see," Lindsay commented, but she seemed somewhat distant from what we were discussing.
"Any problem?"
"No, no problem," Lindsay denied weakly, entering the bathroom and closing the door quietly.
I found Lindsay's behavior rdd, especially coming from someone as outgoing and lively as her, especially after her night outs. I decided to wait for her to come out of the bathroom to ask what was going on. I genuinely cared about Lindsay, and the least I could do for her was to try to help her the same way she always helped me. Even when she clearly expressed her opinion, she was always there, trying to help me.
I also now recognize Sarah's effort in showing the right path, especially when she acted righteously and did good things. Before, I didn't feel like following my sister's example, but now, alone and responsible for my choices, life taught me to value the people who were there for me in difficult times, and that person was Lindsay.
I couldn't blame Sarah, even though I had wronged her so much. She had always been the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend. Maybe that was exactly what bothered me, after all. The fact that Sarah never made mistakes and was always selfless annoyed me, especially when our father praised and admired all her qualities, even if that wasn't his intention.
After all, the feeling that has always gnawed at me since the dawn of time had a well-known name: envy. Now, I finally understood how much this feeling had harmed me and led me to harm others as well.
I'm tired of all this. I have other priorities now, the main one being to try to do things the right way. This starts with this confusing relationship with Enrico, in which I need to understand what I want and what he wants to offer me.
I don't know what his expectations are of me, and honestly, I don't feel deserving of someone like him, who can have any woman he desires, as he is rich, handsome, famous, and has shown in many ways that he is a good man, even to me, who did nothing to deserve it.
However, I don't want to be his secret lover, and I also don't think it's right for us to get involved when I'm just an employee and he is the boss. I'm so confused, I thought, covering my face with my hands, feeling even more perplexed.
"What happened?" Lindsay asked as she came out of the bathroom. "You seem tormented."
That word describes exactly how I'm feeling, but I didn't want to admit these feelings to Lindsay, especially when she seems as or more disturbed than I am.
For the first time, I want to help someone without putting myself first. Later, I'll deal with my oituation.
"I was just thinking nonsense," I said, gesturing to dismiss the subject. "But I want to hear about you. How was your night? You didn't seem very excited when you got back from your night out tonight."
Lindsay had come out of the bathroom already wearing her cotton nightgown, her hair pulled back in a bun, quite different from the tight, short dress she wore to the pub earlier.
"I shouldn't have gone out tonight," she said regretfully. "I was tired and ended up not feeling up to enjoying the night."
"Then why did you go?" I asked the obvious.
"I think we should go to bed," Lindsay deflected, avoiding answering my question. "We have to wake up early tomorrow, and a busy day of work awaits us."
I didn't like seeing my friend avoiding the subject, but I respected her wish. That night, at least, I would leave Lindsay alone. I also wanted to go back to bed and think about Enrico and how nice it was to be with him there, in that same bed.
Tomorrow everything will be different... everything looks different in the light of day.
The next day, confirmation of this came when Enrico arrived at the kitchen table for breakfast with his father and the other members of the household staff. He didn't even glance in my direction, as if I didn't exist, even though we were in the same room. This indifference deeply hurt me.
"How about we have lunch at some friends' house today, Dad?" He suggested to Joseph. "Hilary and Lorenzo are wonderful people, I'm sure you'll enjoy getting out of this house for a bit."
Joseph muttered something that Enrico interpreted as consent. Then, he turned his attention to Lindsay and the other two staff members, asking about their night and if they had enjoyed themselves. The fact that it was just us and them at that moment made it even more painful that he didn't even give me a "good morning."
Faced with his rude attitude, which seemed to be directed solely at me, I got up from the table and left without asking for permission, trying to go as unnoticed as possible. I decided I wouldn't stay in that place anymore, where everyone was chatting cheerfully, pretending I was invisible. I was tired of it.
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