Escaping Reality
Rachel
Even before opening my eyes, I knew Enrico was still holding me close, providing a sense of security and affection, even though he wasn't truly offering those feelings, which created a contradiction in our current situation. Nevertheless, I allowed myself to linger in his embrace for as long as possible. It was a wonderful feeling to be this close to someone I had deep feelings for, even though I knew I could never fully express the intensity of those feelings for him.
Wanting and being able were two distinct things, and the more I tried to remain still, hoping he would sleep longer, the more my physiological needs insisted on making themselves known. It became inevitable to prevent my stomach from emitting a loud growl of hunger.
"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday," Enrico whispered near my ear.
We had come to Joseph's house and settled into my room shortly after my discharge from the hospital. We spent the night together without worrying about explaining anything to anyone, not even to ourselves. We simply spent the night cuddling, and at times, I felt his gentle kisses on my neck and hair. At other times, it seemed like I was dreaming or that those kisses were figments of my imagination.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Enrico insisted.
"What can I say?" I questioned, not in the mood. "I'm hungry, but I don't want to leave here."
"Sooner or later, we need to face reality," he pointed out, yet he made no move to get up or release his strong embrace.
However, even though I wished to stay in that comfortable position for longer, my physiological needs became irresistible, and I needed to get up to go to the bathroom, specifically to relieve myself.
"I need to use the bathroom," I hurriedly said, quickly getting out of bed and heading for the door that led to the adjoining bathroom.
After using the toilet, I felt nauseous and needed to regain my balance after the dizziness that hit me. Then, I stopped in front of the mirror over the sink, staring at the reflection staring back at me, a very different image from what I had just a few months ago. I looked at my tired and haggard face, noticing how the scar became more visible and unpleasant to the eyes. However, that was a minor concern compared to what I had lost.
I didn't know how long I stood there, motionless, thinking about everything that had happened and how to move forward in my life. I felt deeply lost, and Enrico's presence, simultaneously there and not there by my side, only intensified my sense of discomfort and disorientation.
"Rachel..." Enrico called gently, but I didn't respond and he soon insisted in a firmer tone, "Rachel! Open the door... you've done what you needed to."
"Am I such a bad person that I don't even have the right to privacy anymore?" I asked with a choked voice.
What is happening to me? This question was directed at the person on the other side of the mirror when I noticed that my eyes were already filled with tears.
"Open the door, Rachel!" Enrico asked harshly now. "We need to talk and we can't postpone this anymore."
"I don't want to talk," I repeated what I had said the night before. "Leave me alone, Enrico. I just need to think for a bit."
I turned on the tap, filled my hand with water, and splashed it on my face, trying to improve my really bad appearance, with eyes marked by deep, dark circles.
"Let's think together!"
He must be joking. A tasteless joke. How can he offer to think together with me when, since we found out about this pregnancy, all he's done is insist on getting rid of the responsibility? This made me extremely angry. After drying my face, I opened the door abruptly and walked to the center of the room, ready to speak some truths in his face.
"Listen here, Enrico..."
"Rachel," Lindsay called from the other side of the door before I could say anything. "Rachel!"
That was not the right time for Lindsay to show up, right when I was about to have the long-awaited conversation with Enrico and tell him what I thought about his cowardice. However, my response to my friend could not be different from what I offered to her.
“You can come in, Lindsay.”
I noticed that Enrico was not pleased that we had been interrupted, but I wasn't in the mood to talk at that moment. Maybe it was for the best. I was upset and confused, about saying things I might regret later, and that was not something I wanted to do.
My friend entered the room carrying a tray with a full breakfast, which she placed on the bedside table next to the bed and then looked at us with concern.
“Is everything okay?” Lindsay asked.
“I wouldn't say it's okay…” I said desolately “But it will be.”
“You should be lying down, Rachel. You need a lot of rest to recover” she scolded “Sit down and have your breakfast. You didn't eat anything yesterday.”
I thought about replying, but faced with the firm expression on Lindsay's face, I thought it best not to contradict her. Besides, she was right, and I couldn't afford to go without eating, especially now that I had the responsibility of taking care of another life besides my own.
“Okay.”
I walked over to the bed, ready to pick up the tray and start eating something that was set out there. However, I noticed the grateful look Enrico gave Lindsay, another demonstration of his contradictory nature.
“Several people have been trying to talk to you. They also want to see you” Lindsay warned.
I immediately turned my face in her direction, hoping she would say that my family was there to visit me. Although I knew I didn't deserve their empathy after the things I did, I still wanted my family's support at that moment when I felt so lonely and vulnerable. However, Lindsay's subsequent words quickly dashed my hope, as she realized my expectation and explained.
“It's Thompson who wants to see you.”
“I'm not going to allow that guy to come to my house” Enrico declared irritably “I'll send him away immediately if he dares to come here.”
“You can't do that, Enrico!” I quickly stopped him “The house belongs to Joseph and you can't stop me from receiving my visitors here.”
"I say I can, yes."
I couldn't believe it when Enrico walked towards the exit of the room with that looming threat in the air, especially against one of the few people who had reached out to me and could help me now that I was pregnant and practically alone in the world. And, ironically, he was partially responsible for this situation.
"If you don't allow me to have my visitors, I will leave your house right now!"
It was a somewhat foolish threat, considering I had nowhere to go if I left Joseph's house. However, I made it because Enrico needed to decide what he wanted, as he seemed undecided throughout this situation.
My words didn't stop him from heading towards the door, but before leaving, he left a very clear message.
"I don't want you to leave this house," he said through clenched teeth, visibly upset. "But I have no intention of witnessing your romantic encounters, so I'd rather leave myself."
With that said, he turned his back and left the room. Lindsay still tried to find out what he planned to do next.
"Where are you going, Enrico?" Lindsay asked, worried.
"I'm going back to the hotel where I'm staying," he responded before closing the door to the room.
Lindsay also looked at me with a displeased expression, which intrigued me about the change in her attitude towards Thompson. However, I decided not to press the issue as she seemed reluctant to talk about what was going on.
"This situation between Enrico and you is so strange!" Lindsay complained, sighing tiredly. "They fight, sleep together, and then wake up fighting again. I can't make sense of it anymore."
"I don't understand Enrico either," I agreed. "But I'm not going to waste any more time thinking about it now."
"You're right," Lindsay agreed. "You need to change clothes because Thompson is waiting for you in the living room."
I followed Lindsay's advice and put aside Enrico's mood swings, as I had my issues to deal with. Less than half an hour later, I was face to face with Thompson, still embarrassed by everything that had happened after just one day of work.
"I need to apologize to you, Thompson," I said, embarrassed. "You have been trying to help me in every way, but so many things have happened that I will understand perfectly if you can't keep your promise to find me a job."
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
