Remorse
Rachel
Due to the cancellation of one of the races that were part of the Formula One World Circuit, Enrico was staying in London longer than usual. However, he was rarely at home during this period.
Just as I missed his presence, I noticed that Joseph shared the same feeling. After all, our son was even more absent now, and not even during meals, something he used to do before the day we had our last "encounter" in the mansion's laundry room, could we count on Enrico at the table?
"Do you notice Joseph's downcast and impatient demeanor?" Lindsay commented as we were having dinner together in the kitchen. "He didn't even eat half of his dinner."
"I've noticed he's been acting strange, indeed," I agreed. "I think you should talk to Enrico about it, after all, it's for Joseph's well-being that he brought us to London. Someone needs to tell him to pay more attention to his father."
"Are you talking about me behind my back?" Joseph himself asked, sneaking into the kitchen quietly and stealthily.
Despite the veiled reprimand, he spoke in a slightly playful tone, which reassured me somewhat, suggesting that perhaps he wasn't as upset as he seemed about what he had overheard.
"I'm sorry, Joseph," I immediately responded, aware of how situations like this can be uncomfortable. "We're genuinely concerned about you."
Joseph walked over to where we were and pulled out one of the chairs, sitting down shortly after. However, he remained silent for such a long period that I began to fear he would simply ignore us, which could harm our relationship, which until then had been cordial and friendly. However, I was mistaken.
"I haven't been a good father, girls," he said regretfully, looking extremely sincere. "This realization only dawned on me in the past few months, since my son brought me to his home and tried to get closer to me."
I wasn't aware of the relationship between the two men before moving into Enrico's house, but it was always evident that they seemed like strangers and that the relationship between them was quite delicate. One thing was clear: Enrico was making efforts to please his father, but Joseph seemed dissatisfied with everything his son did. I believe it was this dissatisfaction that led Enrico to give up so quickly. However, I think maybe Enrico gave up too soon, and there could have been more effort on his part.
It was one thing for Enrico to be present with Joseph, and another completely different thing for him to try to provide support but not offer his company to his father, especially when he wasn't traveling for work, as was the case at that moment.
"If you're acknowledging that you haven't been a good father, then I believe you also have some idea of where you went wrong and why, Joseph," Lindsay pointed out wisely.
"I was wrong to not accept that my son pursued what has always been his greatest dream," Joseph confessed sadly. "Trying constantly to make him give up was even worse than simply not supporting him."
I had no right to judge anyone's mistakes, something I knew very well. It was easy to criticize people's actions when you weren't experiencing the same circumstances as them. Furthermore, I recognized that I had made my own terrible mistakes. However, I understood how cruel it had been on Joseph's part, as a father, to try to sabotage his son's dreams, as he was admitting now.
"It's not something small and easily forgotten," Lindsay spoke aloud what was passing through my mind. "But I say it's not too late to try to rebuild the relationship between you two, Joseph."
We continued talking for some time, and Joseph shared with us that Enrico had always dreamed of being a Formula One driver, but he never supported him, even going so far as to try various ways to dissuade his son from this "madness."
Despite reliving these moments from the past, Joseph never mentioned Enrico's mother, which sparked my curiosity. However, something made me realize that this must be a sensitive topic, whatever the reason, and it wasn't appropriate to bring it up at that moment when Joseph seemed overwhelmed by guilt and remorse for his actions. I chose not to touch on this delicate subject.
"I went several days without eating, once again trying to make my son give up these races and come back to Seattle," Joseph recounted, referring to the moment when Enrico decided to bring him to London. "Look where that got me. It didn't help at all."
"Enrico loves what he does, Joseph," I spoke with authority, having seen him race, even in the Paddock, and knowing the thrill it brought to those on the inside. "And it would be quite cruel of you to corner him into choosing between doing what he loves or staying with his father."
"I came to that conclusion during the last race I watched on TV."
"You watch the races?" Lindsay was surprised. "You always say you hate even the noise of the cars..."
Joseph smiled humorlessly, but his grimace sparked a fit of laughter in Lindsay that ended up infecting us even more hilariously.
"You're such a fake, Joseph!" She was now indignant.
We were still laughing in the kitchen when we saw the subject of our conversation enter the room, visibly in a bad mood. I wondered if his irritation was due to our laughter, which could provide a good indication of his mood at that moment.
"I see you're having fun..." he commented with subtle irony.
My heart started pounding uncontrollably in my chest, as it always did when I was in the same room as Enrico. None of us responded; we felt like we were doing something wrong, or at least that's how I felt with Enrico's arrival and his scowling expression.
"It seems I interrupted a pleasant moment," he observed with a grimace. "I'll leave so you can get back to what you were doing before."
Before he could leave, Joseph seemed willing to act on what we had discussed and called out to him, preventing him from leaving the kitchen.
"How about a game of cards with your father?"
Enrico seemed surprised by Joseph's invitation, but after smiling with a cynicism that I found quite offensive, he resumed walking towards the exit while speaking over his shoulder:
"I have much more interesting plans for tonight," he said without making any effort to disguise the fact that he didn't want to spend time with Joseph. "Perhaps another time?"
After Enrico left, an almost eerie silence settled in the kitchen, and I felt sorry for Joseph, especially in light of the conversation we had just minutes ago.
"It's not going to be easy," I commented, trying to convey some encouragement, even though I had my doubts myself.
"It's not going to be easy!" Lindsay agreed emphatically.
Joseph got up with some difficulty and announced:
"I'm going to my room. Tomorrow will be a new day, right?"
Joseph was right, and I followed his example, heading to my room. However, I couldn't sleep; instead, I kept imagining who Enrico would be spending the night with, considering his "more interesting plans."
Surely, he must be with some woman. Tayla Corbin, to be more specific, since he often appeared in the media with her. All the gossip pages had shared a post where Enrico and the model appeared, a post shared by Tayla herself on her social media. It seemed they were getting closer and closer. I just hoped he wouldn't bring her home. I wasn't sure if I could bear such torture.
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