Extremely Wounded
Rachel
To say I was surprised didn't even come close to the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me now, faced with Enrico's disdainful declaration. Did he believe he couldn't be the father of my baby? What absurdity!
"But you are the father of this baby, Enrico," I continued to insist, though my heart ached with his rejection. "I wouldn't lie about something so easily discovered."
A sarcastic laugh echoed, and this time, I felt a chill in my stomach and the urge to vomit seized me again, leaving me dizzy.
"Everyone knows you're capable of extremely low things, Rachel," he began to attack, reaching into my past. I already knew he would do that. "You play dirty and aren't ashamed to be exposed. But what can one expect from someone who did what you did to your sister, right?"
The blows were cruel, and I wasn't feeling well. Even as I tried to contain the flood of tears I felt about to escape my eyes, I realized the first drops were already wetting my face.
What was happening? I shouldn't cry in front of someone who was deliberately hurting me, but that's exactly what was happening right now.
"The situation is different now, Enrico," I managed to say even as my voice was choked by the tears trapped in my throat. "You can't accuse me of trying to deceive you this way. I didn't plan on getting pregnant."
"No?!" He laughed cynically. "Who do you think you're fooling? Months ago, I wasn't good enough for your purposes, but, now I'm good enough to cater to the frivolous and selfish whims of the petty girl who lost everything, aren't I?"
I couldn't bear so many attacks anymore. I felt like I was about to collapse, unable to defend myself against all the insults hurled by the man in front of me.
Before I felt even more humiliated, because it was clear I was going to cry in front of Enrico, I turned my back on him and ran to the bathroom, my stomach too churned up to respond to his provocations.
"I think you better leave, Enrico," I heard Lindsay say in a surprisingly gentle tone for the situation. "You've said everything you wanted to."
I couldn't hear any response from Enrico; I could only kneel beside the toilet as the entire breakfast was expelled from my stomach, focusing on this moment that was becoming increasingly frequent.
I realized he had left when Lindsay approached, holding my hair that had been loose over my shoulders.
"Forget what he said," Lindsay pleaded when I had nothing left to bring up.
"Now you're going to tell me that everything he said was because he was angry?" I scoffed.
"No. Everything he said is exactly what he feels," Lindsay acknowledged, and I felt another pang of pain at this harsh reality. "But you need to think about your health, dwelling on these absurdities won't do any good."
"But he didn't lie about me..." I murmured. Even though I was sad and recognized how painfully these words affected me, I couldn't deny that they were true regarding the things I had done in life.
"That's in the past," Lindsay pointed out. "Now is a new moment, and you can do everything differently. It depends only on you, Rachel."
Lindsay was right, of course. Faced with everything that was happening, I decided that instead of continuing to dwell on the wound opened by Enrico's reaction to my pregnancy, it was better to try to build something new for my future, as my friend had so wisely pointed out.
When I finally managed to return to my bed and pick up my phone, I realized that the email with the result of the blood test had arrived, and it was no surprise that the result was positive.
"I need to go check on how Joseph is doing," Lindsay warned almost mournfully, "But I don't want to leave you here alone."
"Stop being silly, Lindsay," I complained, trying to smile. "I'll be fine."
Lindsay still looked at me with doubts for a while, but we couldn't both stay locked in that room while Joseph needed support. After confirming several times that I would be okay, she finally left the room, leaving me alone with my tormenting thoughts.
I looked again at the email containing the result of the test, and the word "positive" in bold seemed to flash before my eyes, as if it were in neon.
"I'm expecting a child... from Enrico, and that's so strange!" I thought.
But one thing was certain: after everything he said, and especially his absolute certainty that he couldn't be the father of the baby, there was no way to continue in that house. It was simply impossible to stay there when Enrico didn't even grant me the benefit of the doubt.
"I live in his house, I haven't even gone out for a coffee since I arrived in London, and yet he believed the child wasn't his?! That makes no sense at all!"
With this decision in mind, although not know exactly what I would do from now on, I sought out the contact of the real estate agent responsible for renting out my apartment and made it clear that I did not wish to renew the contract. It was close to the end, with only one month left, and I could have it back.
Staying even one more month in Enrico's house didn't seem pleasant at all when in reality, I didn't want to stay there for another day.
The tiredness and weakness I felt led me to sleep for most of the day, and in the late afternoon, Joseph came to visit me.
"Are you feeling better from the nausea?" He asked with evident concern. "Have you taken your medication?"
Even though I didn't have many reasons to laugh at that moment, I couldn't help but chuckle at Joseph's unusual question.
"What are you laughing about?" He asked, looking stern. "I asked a pretty simple question, nothing funny about it."
"I found it funny because, until yesterday, I would be the one asking if you've taken your medication," I explained, smiling. "It seems like the roles have reversed, haven't they?"
We continued to talk about random topics, but all the while I felt like Joseph wanted to say something, although for some reason he didn't.
"You're acting strangely..." I commented with a hint of humor, despite everything. "You didn't used to be so delicate to the point of not saying what you want directly."
"Well, I was trying to be gentle," Joseph joked, but his expression quickly turned serious, and I realized he was preparing to ask the dreaded question. "The child you're expecting... is it Enrico's?"
I thought about denying it, saying I didn't know who the father was, or making up some other excuse, but something inside me made me understand that it wouldn't be fair to Joseph to deny him the right to know that soon he would be a grandfather.
"Yes," I confirmed, fearful of his reaction. "I'm pregnant with Enrico's child."
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