Chapter 19

The rest of the week went on as if nothing between Tommy and I ever happened. I didn't bump into him or see him at all. Eli messaged me and I was happy for the distraction, he really is a nice guy. I also went out again with James, and if I wasn't so heartbroken I may have considered it a date. As much as I wanted to move on, I couldn't, not fully. Tommy was my mate, and he didn't want me. My wolf was quiet again after that, I think she is hurting too. Sometimes her whimpers slip through and I feel even worse. I want to run away from here so badly, and even though Nathaniel told me to stay I didn't want to.

This had been my dream, but everything is different now. I had tons of money; I could go anywhere! What was keeping me here? Maybe leaving the country would be safer for me anyway. I heard from one of the professors that this year they are accepting applications for first years to be a part of the exchange program. It would be 6 months in Paris where I could take part in a special art program. I was thinking about applying but now I am sure I want to.

I want to be far away from here now, and away for any reminders of the things that have happened recently. So I asked for an application and it is sitting in front of me now. Tears are stinging my eyes as I think about how I got to this point, running away again alone. Annie had been a great friend to me but her and Will seemed to be getting closer and I wanted her to be happy, so I always encourage her to pick him over me. He is a sweet guy and she smiles non-stop thanks to him. She deserves to be happy! All I have to do is sign this paper and I can be somewhere new. Something is still holding me back though, is it the mate bond? I need to break it before I leave, or I will always feel the pull to come back here.

My wolf had explained to me more about the mate bond recently. She said I need to reject Tommy and he me if the bond between us would be broken. So I needed to see him, I need to break the bond for good. I pull my phone out and type a quick message to Eli. I never got Tommy's number and I know they are friends, so I tell him to ask Tommy to come to my apartment.

About an hour later I hear a knock at the door and from his scent I know it's Tommy. I open the door to see a stoned face future Alpha standing in front of me. He looks so different now, not as happy as when we first met. Maybe when we break the bond he will be happy again; he will be free of me.

"Come in." I say calmly opening the door to let him in.

He walks in and stands in the middle of the the living room turned and watching me.

"You wanted to see me?" He asks in a flat tone.

"Yes I did. I am going to be taking part in an art exchange program in Paris for 6 months. I have already spoken to my professor and the process for my transfer is begun. But there is this pull to stay, and I need to resolve it." I explain in just as cold of a manner.

I see slight confusion pass his features.

"So why do you need me here?" He asks.

"Tommy I reject you as my mate!" I say straight out.

As soon as the words leave my mouth his expression changes. He looks like he has been shot. Fear, pain, confusion all pass through him and he stumbles a little.

"What are you doing?" He says with a groan.

"I need to break our bond. I never want to come back here after everything!" I begin to yell.

"Maya please I can't!" He says back.

"Accept my rejection Tommy! Cut the bond and we can both move on!" I tell him firmly.

"NO!" He yells, his teeth gritting from pain.

"You are only hurting yourself, accept my rejection!" I say louder.

"I can't!" He yells back.

"Why?" I ask with anger.

"I can't let you go." He says panting trying to catch his breath.

"For goddess sake Tommy! You don't want me, but you won't let me go! How is that fair?" I ask him.

"Because I can't!" He says desperately.

"I hate you." I growl.

"Please Maya don't say that!" Tommy says and I can see the pain he is in is only growing.


Why won't he accept the rejection and stop the pain? Why is he being so stupid? He is going to kill himself!

"Tommy accept my rejection before you kill yourself!" I urge him.

He struggles to stand but he falls to his knees. Beads of sweat form on his forehead and he let's out a loud groan as another wave of pain washes over him.

It is hurting me to see him in so much pain. Out bond makes me want to run to him and hold him, but I won't. He needs to let me go!

He is letting out sounds of pain over and over and I turn away so as not to see him. What is he doing? He lets out a painful scream and drops to his hands. His wolf is trying to break out now and heal his body. I turn and see him looking up at me longing for me to take his pain away. I can hear his bones begin to crack as he and his wolf battle for control. This has to stop! His body can't handle this much longer. Against my resolve I run to him and kneel beside him.

"Tommy what are you doing? Accept the rejection! You are going to die if you don't!" I try to convince him.

He shakes his head and groans again dropping his head and letting out quick breaths.

"Why are you fighting it? You already said you didn't want me!" I reminded him.

"I...do...but I can't have you." He says in between breaths.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"I love you, but I had to push you away." He gets out.

I am hit with his words. He says he had to push me away. Wait, no he said he loves me! I am so confused, what is he talking about?

"Maya please, let me explain!" He begs.

I would have to take back my rejection if I wanted him to explain, and I can't take the sounds of pain he is making.

"Fine! Tommy I do not reject you as my mate!" I say loudly.

As soon as the words leave me, his breathing begins to grow steadier. After several minutes he seems to be recovering enough to explain. My anger has not subsided in fact it grows now that his pain has stopped. What is his problem?

We take a seat on the couch with as much distance as I can manage.

"Well, are you going to explain why you won't accept my rejection?" I ask annoyed with my arms crossed around my chest.

I know I probably look childish right now, but I am so angry it's hard to act calm right now.

"It's complicated Maya." He says simply.

He is really asking for me to lose with right now.

"Tommy, you did all this. You said you didn't want me, and I can't even move on because of the fact that we are mates. If you want to move on too then just break the bond so we can both be free!" I tell him, loudly.

"You need to stay here Maya. You can't go to Paris." He says firmly.

Seriously?!

"Excuse me? Look I don't answer to you, I am not in your pack and we are not full mated so you can not compel me either. You have no right to tell me where I can and cannot go!" I tell standing towering over him.

"I do have a right!" He yells now too standing and getting into my face.

A face I am so close to punching right now!

"No you don't! I took back my rejection so you can explain but I am happy to reject you again if you prefer being in pain again!" I tell back.

He pulls away from me with a hurt look. I don't want to hurt him, it killed me seeing him in pain, but I want to be free of this bond.

"Maya please I need you to trust me for a little longer!" He pleads.

"I did trust you! I accepted you, and as soon as you took what you wanted from me you told me you didn't want me. I lost my chance to be part of a pack again thanks to you! You want me to trust you? I don't even know you!" I scream at him.

His shoulders drop and he shrinks at my words.

"I'm sorry." He says softly.

"You're sorry? Tommy that is not going to fix everything! I needed you, and you pushed me away! I can't handle that right now, it's too much. You're hurting me, don't you get that?" I can't hold back the tears that had been building, and one falls down my cheek.

"Maya..." Tommy starts.

"No! Just let me go please!" I yell and cry.

"I love you! I won't let you go! Not now, not ever!" He yells back at me.