Chapter 95

(Maya POV)

Everything I felt from the moment my wolf had taken over was pain. I had not shifted in so long. All those months ago when I had fled my home to come to Maine, she had hidden herself away as a way of protecting me, but I hadn’t realized up until now I had been silencing her. With my Fae abilities throwing me through a loop I had ignored her cries and pleads to be let out. She was angry, and I had given her the power to release that anger unfiltered. I felt her taking control the second we began to pursue the council members.

Because of them she had been pushed aside. They had given me powers that made having a wolf pointless, and because of that she was pushed aside. I had neglected her, but she saw everyone as an enemy now. I tried to talk to her, tell her that the Fae will not welcome our help if we hurt the council members, they would fear us. She pushed me away and ignored my words, and I had to watch in horror as she tore them apart.

Killing them seemed to only make her anger grow stronger, the rage was primal and she her thoughts were a muddled mess. She had been silenced and ignored all this time, and now she was confused and lost. I tried to call out to her, abegging her to let me out but she didn’t seem to hear me. I felt trapped, and the room I was in was getting smaller with the intensity of her thoughts. She had gone mad and I was just a jumble of words in the web of confusion in her mind.

I could still see through her eyes, but that only made me feel more helpless. I could see Tommy and I called out to him, but he gave me a look that made my heart sink. He was afraid of me, or afraid of what I had done. I called out louder, making my voice hoarse with how hard I tried to get him to hear me. When he did get closer, I could hear his voice trying to break through and that made me call out with whatever energy I had left.

Fighting against Leah was making me tired and weak. She was forcing me deeper, but I wasn’t giving up until Tommy heard my cries. He was trying to make Leah submit to him, but she only fought harder stealing what energy left in me to fight it. She was slowly killing us trying to keep him out, and I was growing too tired to keep fighting. I had come this far and lived, but in this moment as Leah fought for her freedom I had given up.

My uncle had plans for the Fae people, the people who had been trying to kill or control me were all dead. What more was there left for me to do? I was not going to become the person I was born to be. But Tommy was reaching into Leah’s mind trying to pull me out, so I pushed one last time to get out. I needed to say goodbye…So when the moment came, I pushed my way from the darkness and felt the pain of the shift.

I had expected it to be quick, but it was a forced shift. A shift that my wolf was still fighting to resist, so I had to push harder to get out. I felt my body getting weaker the harder I pushed, and the pain in my chest was growing tighter around my heart. It felt like my whole body was being crushed from the inside out, and when the shift was complete, I let out the last breath my lungs held before the world around me turned pure white.

People say when you die, a bright light is the first thing you see before you truly cross over into death. I glanced around but there was nothing around me. Then a flash and images begin to flash before me, images of my mother and father. Images of Freddie and me followed them, and these images played like a movie. Flashes of memories appeared and disappeared leading me through my life and everything that had brought me to this moment.

Was this how death would be? Flashes of my past repeating itself through eternity? If I had known death would be more painful than life, I think I would have fought harder, because seeing all of those I have lost only hurt more. Then a memory flashed in front of me, one had I long forgotten. My mom and I are sitting in my room, it had been such a short moment in my life that I had forgotten all about it. Yet, as the moment played before me, I remembered her words as if she was whispering them in my ear.

“Life is not planned Maya, it’s a mess of mistakes and chances not taken. There are a million times when giving up is the easiest option, but that is the wrong way to view the world. Those times when things seem too hard, those are not chances for you to fail…they are opportunities to succeed. To fight harder than you ever have to turn what seems hopeless into a blessing.”

I remember feeling like I was lost and didn’t belong because I was so different from everyone else at my school. That day I had been called weird and I felt like the whole school was against me. I wanted to run away that day, but my mom had caught me before I could even step a foot out the door. She seemed to really understand what I was feeling even though I didn’t believe her then. She always seemed to have things together, and I just didn’t. The memories continues but as the memory plays, I can hear her voice.

“Promise me that when you feel like giving up and running away that you remember that you are not alone. That if you need to run, then you run to someone you love. Run to someone who makes you feel safe. Find them and hold on for dear life! Ok? Because one day I won’t be here to stop you, and I never want you to have nowhere to go. Don’t push people away, cling to them because they need you as much as you need them!”

They need me as much as I need them…

They need ME as much as I need them…

Tommy…

Eli…

Noah and Thomas.

They needed me too. They were bound to me! What would happen to them if I was gone?

“They need you…” I hear my mom’s voice say over and over again.

I look at the moment the memory ends and I see her smiling back at me. I want to reach out and touch her, but I know this is all in my head. So instead, I say what I never got to say before she was gone.
“Thank you, mom, for giving me someone to run to.”

When she agreed to the binding, she made sure that in my life I would never be alone. That even if the world around me turned their back to me, I would have four people I could always reach out for and know they would be there. She had given me a gift, not a curse.
A shock hit me then and I felt a pull. Another ran through me and my lungs started to burn begging for me to take a breath. I started to gasp for air as another shock hit me. I felt myself being pulled away, the blinding white fading away. My head pounded and my chest throbbed, but I did it, I took in one breath and my whole body jolted.

“She’s breathing! She’s waking up!” I hear someone yell.

My eyes fly open as I gasp for more air and I panic, reaching out for something anything to hold onto.

“Maya! It’s ok! We’re here! It’s ok!” I hear as I am wrapped in a strong pair of arms.

I fell more arms around me, and I rapidly take in as many breaths as I can until my lungs are no longer screaming.

“It worked! Thank goddess it worked! She’s alive!”

My breathing begins to slow, and fatigue takes over.

I let myself go limp knowing that the arms holding me just brought me back from death, and I could finally rest safely in their arms.

I was alive.