Chapter 97

(Maya POV)

A few weeks had passed since we had returned to our pack, and still my powers had not returned. The witch visited at least once a week to try and see why and would scurry off in search of answers as soon as she left me. We had no clue if or when my powers would return. In the meantime, all of us had begun to try to start somewhat a normal life in the pack, but our unique situation was not easy for them to accept. Especially with the addition to Thomas, who was not a wolf at all.

My quite guy often spent time walking the grounds of the pack lands trying to take in the dynamics and everyday moments of pack life, and I think some found his silent demeaner a bit unsettling. We were both outsiders here, and the pack was not exactly excited for us to be here. Tommy’s father did his best to cut down any bad words spoken against us, but it was clear that the pack didn’t trust us. Even so plans had begun for Tommy to take over as alpha in a month’s time, and I was a nervous wreck.
My fears of being an unwanted Luna, with not only now powers but also unable to shift was weighing deep on my mind. So, I asked Tommy and my other wolf mates to help me find a way to bring my wolf out before I stood before the pack and became their Luna.

“Come on love try just one more time!” Tommy called out to me from where he leaned against a tree.

I stood a few feet away gasping in air and leaning forward holding myself up by resting on my knees.

“She won’t come out! I can feel her fighting against my calls.” I say breathlessly.

Since I again didn’t have a strong hold on my wolf, any benefits that came with being a wolf shifter were limited. Which is why I currently stood gasping for breath and sweating buckets trying to pull my wolf from her hiding place in my mind.

I closed my eyes tight and tried to take in as many deep breaths as possible, but my lungs burned at this point. A second later though I felt strong arms wrap around me and I straightened myself and leaned against the strong figure of my mate.

“She is scared Maya, because you are scared. You two have never shared or learned to create a trusted bond and because of that you are afraid of one another.” He says softly against my ear.

“She killed all of those people Tommy and I had to sit back silenced and trapped watching as she did. Of course, I’m scared.” I say feeling my throat tighten at the memories of that day.

“She is wild, driven by pure instinct after never completing that bond between you. That balance that keeps her calm enough to not completely give over comes from you, but she has never felt it. It will take time for you to learn that balance, but both of you need to give in to the fear and face it together. “He tightened his hold on me and nuzzled his nose into my neck.

He breaths in deep and a content grumble vibrates in his chest and against my back. I know he is right, but fear has been my strongest emotion for so long that I didn’t know how to not be afraid. It was like my mind was always on alert looking for the next threat and I didn’t know how to turn it off. I sighed and let myself melt into Tommy’s touch and I immediately felt my racing heart settle in the rhythm of his. I loved how we all had really been able to strengthen our bond since things had settled down, and that had been what was keeping me together by this point.

“I love you.” Tommy whispers to me.

“I know…and I love you.” I whisper back.

I had never felt more loved than now with my mates, each one somehow a match to ever part of me. Every part of my personality was reflected in one of them and I could describe how they just knew who I needed. Eli was always my cuddle buddy, full of constant affection. We would often spend our evenings cuddle together on the couch watching a movie. Noah had changed so much since our bond had grown, and he too enjoyed cuddling from time to time. He still took his duties as future beta very seriously and was always running about, but he would stop everything and kiss me even if it was just for a second.

I didn’t understand why for a while, but it was his way of saying that no matter how busy he was that I was still important to him. He would take out at least a one day off to spend with me and I loved our time together. Tommy was my wild guy, fun and carefree but knew his role as alpha was important. However, he was the clingiest out of all and would drop everything in an instant to be with me. Often leading to me shooing him off to take care of his alpha-in-training business.

Thomas was my quiet and strong pillar. He had improved in showing affection toward me as he watched the others, but he was still the stiffer one of the group. Even so I loved him in every way, and we spent our time together reading in quite together. I loved having those moment with him where I could pretend to read but in truth, I loved watching him the most. His intense interest in leaning and expanding his mind made his brows furrow in an adorable way and it was one of my favorite expressions of his.
When he catches me watching him though he gives me a soft smile that literally melts my heart and I always reach out to him and he intertwines our hands before going back to reading. His touches were always so simple and yet always warmed me all over.

My guys were everything I needed, and I would have wished to live without each of them in my life.

My stomach rumbled suddenly breaking the silent moment me and Tommy were sharing and pulling me from my heavenly thoughts. He laughed and kissed me softly on my neck before loosening his grip on me.

“Come on! Let’s get you back and feed you.” He stepped away from me and walked around offering his hand to me.

I smiled to him and accepted it happily, and he led us back home. As if knowing we were on our way, we walked into the house full of rich smells. Eli was already cooking, and the smells made my mouth water.

“Hey guys!” Eli called out peeking out from the kitchen. “Food ready in five!”

“Good because our lovely mate is starved!” Tommy says winking at me before taking off up the stairs to change.

Eli walked out from the kitchen and scooped me into his arms making me squeal from the sudden attack. “How is the love of my life?”

“Tired and hungry but otherwise…happy!” I say wrapping my arms around his neck and leaning in to kiss him gently.

He smiled against our kiss and held me tighter. These small things always made my heart burst with happiness and I held on to them like they were treasured gems. Every moment of happiness I had I held on tight to, because of my fear of not knowing what the future may hold. My fear was a constant, but I tried in these moments to just feel nothing else and silence that fear even just for a moment.

“Hey Maya!” Noah said as he joined us in the living room.

Eli and I separated, and I turned to look at him. I was released gently by Elia with a kiss to the cheek before he returned to cooking.

“Hey! What are you doing here? You are always up and out before the rest of us!” I say with a smile.

He laughs softly. “I wanted to work at home today! I missed you.”

I hadn’t rushed toward him yet and instead stood and admired him. He wore his black suit pants and a black button up with his sleeves rolled to the elbow and his dark rimmed glasses. It was my favorite look on him and with the smirk on his face he was well aware of the fact. He walked up to me and stood just a step away and looked down at me.

“I really missed you.” His voice lowering deep, and his eyes changed just slightly.

Yeah at least one of the boys would come looking for me when their inner beast needed some attention, leaving me very busy but I dint mind at all. I guess it was the shifter in us, and even though my wolf was silent these days this was one thing that wasn’t so silent.

“I missed you too.” I replied looking into those darkening eyes.

I hadn’t spent much time with Noah in the last few days and it was clear his wolf was needing some mate time. So, he took my hand and lead me upstairs, passing Tommy on our way up.

“Make it quick Noah, she is pretty hungry!” He called out as we passed receiving a warning growl from Noah’s wolf.
Tommy loved getting under Noah’s skin when his wolf was unruly, because often Noah was a bit more aggressive. I laughed at Noah’s impatience and soon we were in his room.

We all had separate rooms except for Thomas and I, we slept together. He did not have the same needs as the others and his Fae warmth was my favorite thing to fall asleep to. This was really some of the only time he would cuddle against me, and I was ok with that. It seemed in the Fae world, physical contact was not needed as often as it was in our world and I understood.

However, whenever I did have a night with one of the others, I would remain there the whole night. They loved the extra time, and my scent would linger for days after allowing their wolves to rest while I spent time with one of the others. We had tried many ways of splitting my time with them but in the end, this worked the best.

“How did it go today?” Noah asked as he closed the door to his room.

“She still won’t budge but I can feel her.” I say with a sigh.

He turns to me and gives me a sympathetic smile. “It will happen when you both are ready.”

I nod my head from where I sat on his bed. “I know, I just hoped it would happen before Tommy became alpha. I don’t want to stand before the pack as a weak shifter. They need a strong Luna, and I just don’t live up to that.”

He walked closer to me and lifted my chin to look up at him. “You are strong, maybe they don’t know how strong, but you are the strongest person I have ever met.”

I sighed and nodded, even if I was still unsure. He leaned down and captured my lips in a kiss, and those thoughts quickly melted away. He slowly moved forward making me follow until I was laying flat. He hovered above me and I let myself get lost in his scent. It was deep and earthy and all around us, and for a moment it made my wolf stir. She always reacted in some way to our mates, and I always tried to reach out to her when she did. Their wolves also reach for her to remind her that they still yearn for her, but she always fell silent as soon as they did. Like me she was afraid, and I knew that needed to change. For the both of us...I just didnt know how.