Chapter 34

The sound of a whisper breaks through the darkness and I instinctively panic as my eyes open and the world around me is out of focus. The voice grows louder as my mind begins to clear, and my eyes fall on a pair of deep blue. For some reason I reached up to run my hand along the face in front of me, and he shuddered under my touch. Even though my vision was still unclear I knew I was safe. Until realization hit and I recognized the eyes looking down at me. Noah?

"Noah?" I whisper confused.

"Are you alright?" He asks with slight panic in his voice.

"I think so.." I say holding my head and sitting up slowly.

I feel Noah's hands help ease me up and rest along my waist and back. Part of me wanted to climb into his arms and have him hold me as I recover, but I knew he wouldn't want me to, so I pulled further away from him. His face dropped at my actions, but I didn't want to push him into being close to me.

"Where did you come from?" I asked confused, brushing my hair behind my ears and along my other shoulder.

Noah cleared his throat and looked away from me as soon as I turned my eyes to meet his.

"I saw you rush out of your class. You seemed upset so I followed you to ask what happened. When you didn't come out of the bathroom for a while I came in to check on you. I had just walked in when it looked like you were about to collapse." He says simply without an ounce of emotion.

"Oh. Well thank you." I say glancing over his features.

He was just as stunning as my other mates and I had never really noticed before. He must have felt me staring because soon he was looking back at me.

I should have turned away, but I was in some sort of trance and I could no tear my eyes away from him. We sat for a long time caught in the bond that was pulling us closer, but neither of us moved. My body was beginning to give in to the urge to reach out for him, but as soon as I felt it I dropped my gaze and pushed myself off the floor.

Noah didn't want me, and I wasn't about to throw myself at him if he didn't want me to. He didn't ask to be one of my mates and I didn't want to push him to be with someone he didn't care about, because in the end I would be the one who would get hurt.

He stood slowly as well brushing off his jeans and stood watching me try to balance myself again.

"Maybe I should take you home." He says.

"I will call Tommy or Eli to take me, you can go now." I didn't mean for my words to come out so harsh, but I was annoyed by him.

I know he said he would keep me safe as some kind of obligation as my mate, but I hated that. I didn't want to be an obligation to him, so even if he offered to help I would always decline. There was no way I was going to become that needy girl that seemed to be so disgusting to him.

He let out a sigh and messaged his temple.

"Look, you helped me, and I am grateful. You don't need to stay." I say, my anger building.

"Just let me take you home!" He says, his voice bordering on yelling.

"Noah, I know you think that I need help from you and maybe in that moment I did. But I don't want to be thought of as a burden to anyone, especially someone who hates me. So please just go!" I yell at him with a son escaping as my voice fell.

The room falls silent and I kept my head down, I didn't want to see the annoyance on his face any longer. I never felt this unwanted before and it was breaking my heart.

"I don't hate you." I hear Noah say in a low whisper.

"What?" I ask annoyed.

"I said I don't hate you!" He shouted back at me. "If I hated you then this wouldn't feel so hard."

He let out a frustrated groan and turned away, so his back was facing me.

I was stunned, I didn't know how to reply to this.

"I want to be near you, and it is harder every day to stay away. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I can't control my feelings! I have never felt so out of control before and I hate it! But....I don't hate you." He lets out a sigh as he says those last words.

Again, I was too stunned to reply and I watch him closely trying to figure out what he will do next. He turns to me with a look of exhaustion. Now that his concern had left all I saw was how tired he looked. Had he even been sleeping?

"Are you ok?" I ask him genuinely concerned.

"No." He says shaking his head. "I can't sleep. I can't think about anything else."

"I'm sorry." Is all I can think to say to him.

I didn't know what else I could say.

"This isn't your fault Maya. I know it isn't, so I don't blame you. I just don't know how I feel about it all...." He says rubbing his face with his hands and sighing deeply behind them.

I wanted to comfort him, but would he let me even touch him? He had held me when I fainted, would he let me hold him now that I was fully aware? There was only one way to find out. I walked toward him slowly and I reached out for his hands pulling them away from his face. His eyes were closed but he slowly opened them when his hands were in mine. He sighed again, and he hadn't pushed me away yet, so I moved closer and wrapped his hands around me. He shivered slightly and let out another shaky breath. I didn't know how far I should go, but I felt like a hug was safe. I let go of his arms and slid my hands around to his back and pulled myself closer laying my head softly on his chest.

I could hear his heart racing and it only made me hold on tighter. We stood like this for so long, just holding each other and it felt so nice. I had expected him to pull away or to get mad but he didn't, he held onto me and rested his chin on my head.

"I'm sorry." He says softly into my ear.

I pull my head away so I can look at him, and his face is filled with sadness. Why was he so sad? Had I upset him more by hugging him? Was he sorry because he was about to tell me to let go? These thoughts ran through my mind at an alarming speed making me panic and let go of him. I pulled out of his hold and stepped back, trying to not cry again in front of him.

"I-i'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I-" I felt guilty for touching him and turned to gather my things.

I kept my head down and rushed past him as fast as I could.

"Wait, Maya!" I heard him yell as I ran, well stumbled out of the bathroom.

I brushed away the tears that fell down my face and I walked as best as I could to get as far away from here as possible. The rest of my classes were on the other side of campus, so I decided not to go back to my first class and just wait until my next class was to begin. When I was halfway to my next destination the walk way flooded with students leaving their lectures and moving on to their next class just like me. I easily slipped into the crowd and walked along the best I could while keeping my head down. I didn't want anyone to see me crying, but I couldn't seem to stop.

A moment later I slammed into something hard and stumbled to the ground and letting out a hiss when my hands scrapped along the pavement. My eyes shot up to see what I had run into and a laugh caught my attention. The girl from my previous class, the one who seems especially angry with me stood towering over me with a smirk on her face.

My hands were stinging, and I wanted to cry from the pain but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. She let out a huff before she kneeled down in front of me and smiled.

"I think it's time you went back to wherever you came from. We don't want sluts like you here." She said harshly before standing and walking away from me.

Other students who had gathered around us, began walking away as soon as the girl left and not one of them offered to help me.

She was right...I shouldn't have come here...I needed to leave.