Her Broken Mate 32

PRESENT DAY:

Slowly Seth opened his eyes and saw that Alfred was staring at him intently and moved. His eyes filled with tears as he whispered, "You've been there all along, ... Watching me, weren't you?"

Alfred laughed and wiped away his tears. "Yes, I've. It's really ... nice to see you remember me. I'm glad to see you again, Seth."

"Alfred ... why didn't you tell me this ... at the ... beginning?" asked Seth, wiping away his own tears.

Alfred crossed his arms after setting down the clipboard, "Well, that would spoil the fun, wouldn't it? This is payback for forgetting me so easily."

Seth chuckled, "That's fair. But ... my memory is a little vague. My mother's lover forgives me, but ... where's his mate?"

"Died in a car accident. A typical death for a werewolf. We're always doing dangerous stunts or some shit that gets us killed, even though we're warned about it."

He frowned, "No second chances?"

"Nope, especially not when he's fucking your thirsty mother? Definitely not. He's a soiled soul. Even the Moon Goddess refused to give him a second chance." Alfred said clearly without hesitation.

His mouth was open at Alfred's words.

"Well ... When I first met you, you didn't have a ... A mate. Did you meet her after you were ... fired?"

Seth nodded, and his eyes softened at the mention of his mate. "Yes, I did. She helped me get back on my feet, and without her, I wouldn't be here now."

"Seth, appreciate Sarah for me, will you? I can see that she helped you with your healing process, but you need to learn to stop relying on her. The mates do help us, but we can't depend on them so much that we can't do anything on our own."

He nodded and took Alfred's advice.

Alfred's expression suddenly changed as he seemed to remember something. "Yeah, right. How do you feel now that you've returned to the past? Are you still blaming yourself?"

"A ... little bit. I just can't help it. At first, I refused to believe what she said. But ... over time, the more they spat it at me, the more I felt I'd to listen to it and believe it. I was completely exhausted from trying to keep the voices away," he said, describing the feelings inside him.

He nodded solemnly. "I understand. That's something we've to work on because...
well, it's getting late. Your father should be right..." Before he could finish speaking, there were several knocks on the door. "Speak of the devil. He's here. Come in, Jupiter." said Alfred, smiling heavily.

Seth had the urge to roll his eyes at Alfred's silly behavior when his father walked in, looking relieved to see him.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Seth. Please work on thinking differently about yourself, because you can't really love another until you love yourself. That's a requirement." Alfred advised as he saw him off with his father.

His father shook his hand, "Thank you, Alfred. You've made an important contribution to my son. I'll see you again tomorrow night."

Alfred bowed. "No problem sir, it's good to see you back on your feet. Anyway, I'll be busy until tomorrow night, as I've to do my mate. Maybe do a sixty-nine."

His father bursts out laughing, "Well, I'm sure my son doesn't understand. Isn't that right, Seth?"

Seth looked back and forth between the two in amazement.

What does 'sixty-nine' mean?

Alfred winked playfully at Seth and closed the door as they left. He looked down and saw his father staring straight ahead as he walked away from the therapist. Although he was more than confused about what had just happened, his thoughts about loving himself consumed him.

His father suddenly looked up at him and smiled, "So, what does Seth Inker want to do tomorrow?"

Seth quickly turned to him and thought about his question as his mood improved, "Lots of things."
_ _ _

"Wait, Dad ... Are you sure ... that we're ... allowed to be here?" asked Seth, his smile disappearing and turning into a bit of horror and awe.

In front of him was an amusement park where thousands of people lay. Some were laughing, smiling, joking, dancing or just walking around. There were even people making out on the bench, while a few children passing by pointed curiously.

Don't they've any decency at all?

Why in front of the children?

Seth was a little intimidated by the amount of people here. When the coordination for Sarah was up, he was a nervous wreck.
Luckily, she was by his side the whole time and he was able to handle the situation. Now she's gone and he's to learn the hard way to be independent.

He also has to learn to cope with large crowds.

Shaking his head, his father grinned at him with a mischievous smile. "Son, do you want to go to a strip joint after Sarah wakes up? You know, so she can dance for you?"

He tilted his head in confusion. "Strip ... Joint? What's ... that?" he asked, frowning.

Jupiter clicked his tongue in amusement.
"You still have so much to learn. Don't worry, with me you'll learn everything in no time. Besides, I think you meet the requirements to be naughty and mischievous here and there. You know, to tease your mate well in bed."

Seth thought, Teasing Sarah in bed? How can you tease someone in bed?

He thought beds were just for sleeping.

Seeing Seth's face contort, his father just laughed and pointed him to what was in front of him. "It doesn't matter. We're here to have fun, so let's ride a roller coaster first. I took you here when you were younger, don't you remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. Those ... Were fun times ... Before you ..."

He didn't want to continue his sentence, because Alfred already knew what he was going to say.

His face had a pained expression. "I'd rather have taken the beating than you, Seth. But don't be sad now, we're here to have fun. Come on," he said enthusiastically, walking a little faster toward the line.

Seth's expression brightened as he knew he was making new memories to replace the old ones.
_ _ _

"I'M GOING TO DIE!!!" yelled Seth with gusto as the roller coaster swung up and down. His stomach felt like it had butterflies in it, which caused a ticklish sensation.

As he glanced to his left, he could see the wrinkles of age in the corners of his father's eyes. He smiled so much that his cheeks began to hurt, but he kept laughing.

And for once, Seth thought it was okay to laugh and smile along, too. Because even though all these people are here, they can't hurt him anymore. He can't let his past affect his present, but it's okay to be careful... now.
_ _ _

"Whew, I'm beat!" his father exclaimed, letting out a yawn.

Seth yawned right after him and found it contagious. He laughed at Seth, goading him into fun. His smile soon disappeared as his expression turned serious. "Son, do you know why I took you to the amusement park?"

Shrugging, he replied, "No."

He slapped his hands together and sat down on a bench near the sidewalk. Seth patted the seat next to him and hesitantly sat down next to him.

Although Seth wasn't used to having people near him, he was slowly getting used to it. He's still cautious, keeping his guard up, but he's loosened up a bit.

Sighing, Seth watched the people and children walk by, smiling and giggling happily. The sun was just setting, bathing the sky in a beautiful orange-red. The wind was blowing merrily, balancing the heat and cold.

"I brought you here to show you that not everyone here's bad. Right and wrong are matters of opinion, but what I'm saying is.
My point is that the pack members who abused you were corrupted. Their minds were dark with hate and sadness, so they looked for someone to take it out on. Your mother... being there and saying you're the Omega gave them the opportunity," he explained and continued. "Don't let the pain someone else caused be the reason you reject the love someone wants to give you. Don't let that take away your happiness, because there will be people who hurt you, Seth. You just have to find the ones worth hurting for." his father finally looked at him and smiled. "Never blame yourself for other people's choices or their decisions to be unhappy. You were never to blame for what happened, so stop hating yourself. If you don't respect yourself, who'll?"

Seth's words died on his tongue and twisted into knots.

His father grinned one last time and sat out,
"You can't change the past, Seth. But you can always change the future, how you want to be and what you want to be... starting now. So tell me, son, what do you want it to be?"

And with that, his words were engraved in Seth's soul and he'd to think about it for a while.

Seth painfully closed his eyes and thought about his father's words when he was hit by a memory from the past. It was one that held him back from happiness. A painful one and something he wanted to forget;

FLASHBACK:

"Yes! Harder! FASTER BABY! FASTER!!" his mother screamed next door.

Her sounds of pleasure boomed loudly in Seth's room, which was filled with lustful cries of pain and a little whimpering here and there. He could hear the board of the bed hitting the wall repeatedly, possibly causing a dent.

His fifteen-year-old self covered his ears and tried to sleep himself into the night.

Moments before, she'd thrown him a moldy slice of bread and a half-eaten noodle that appeared to be dry and stank of cockroaches.

He wanted to vomit in disgust, but he was starving. He grabbed a handful with his hand and shoved it down his throat, choking on it and swallowing painfully.

His ribs protruded, and his stomach grumbled day after day. His lips, which had always been moistened, were now so cracked that they bled. The skin he had now was pale and dry, with a body covered from head to toe with dirt that he was only allowed to wash every two weeks.

He was decaying.

He had the feeling that he was the only one in the world who felt this way.

Sometimes all he could do was lie in bed and wait for himself to decay. He could not rely on anyone in this world, for even his shadow left him in darkness.

It's almost as if no one notices your tears, your sadness, your pain, but they all notice your mistakes.

Then suddenly he forgets why he's sad, because it was normal every day now.
It's just tiring to pretend that everything is fine when it's not.

The only times he was allowed outside were when he went to school. And you know, it's funny because the people you used to have laughing and playing with you, now they were not talking to you. His existence was ignored, and he felt like he did not matter anymore.

Still, he smiled and came home with tears.

For even his silence was the loudest cry, but no one noticed. Loneliness consumed his soul and ate him whole. He thought he just wanted to disappear, but what he really wanted was to be found and loved.

Although these thoughts ran through his mind, he reminded himself that he was a survivor.

Just like his father said before he went into a coma.

Even if the world around him rejected him, no one could ever replace the you as a whole. Along with your quirks, your sense of humor, your intelligence, your good heart, your talents, your strengths and weaknesses, your attitude, your hopes and dreams, your smile, and the memories and experiences you created or left behind with your presence.

And then he thought, It's time to break free.

From the one thing that was holding him back.

From himself.

PRESENT DAY:

Seth blinked back to the present and looked down at his wrists, which were covered with scars. He had hurt and bled there repeatedly because he had wanted to die more at the time. Others assumed they were battle scars, and they were.

'Scars are a part of you. Some are big, some are small. Some are internal, some are physical. They come from different things, but they always remind us that no one is perfect or flawless. They show us who has hurt, who is a wounded soul, who is a soldier and who has had a hard life. Those who have struggled to get back on their feet, no matter how many times they have wanted to give up. They remind us of life's struggles and how our stories are formed. They tell a story, and yours tells you that you are alive today because of them.'

'Do not be ashamed of them. Be proud of it.'

'Every day you live, you are reminded of how far you have come.'

'Embrace it.'

He lifted his head and finally smiled as he realized what decision he had to make.

Seth could not believe that he had forgotten those words of wisdom.

He slowly turned his head to his father and replied with a firm and steady, "You ... have my word. I will ... try to love myself from ... now on."

And at these words Seth could not help feeling that Sarah would have been proud of him.