Her Broken Mate 33

*A few hours later*

"Seth! Welcome back! How did you like the amusement park?" Alfred called out, happily shooing Seth into his office.

Seth frowned in confusion, "How did ... you ...?"

He must've known what Seth was about to ask, because he immediately replied, "Your father called to tell me. The worst part was that I was busy hammering when he called me. My mate was upset because I'd to stop for a minute or so."

Seth blinked several times and asked, "What were you ... Knocked? Meat?"

Alfred chuckled with a mischievous look: "You could say that."

'He means to stomp that pus-'

Seth ignored Virus for the sake of his innocent ears. Of course, he whined and pouted in the corner of his head, but he still didn't budge.

Virus's puppy dog eyes wouldn't work on him this time.

Alfred took a seat across from Seth, held a clipboard in his hands, and showed it to him. On it were all the notes of what Seth had said to him during the last session. From every painful memory to Seth's feelings and thoughts, Alfred had written it all down.

"Why did you ... put down what I said?" whispered Seth, feeling unsure.

Alfred handed him the clipboard with the notes and leaned back in his comfortable chair. "I wrote everything down so you could've your experience. You see, part of your recovery in Cognitive Processing Therapy, or CPT, is to train your brain to have a different way of looking at trauma. That way, step by step, you're moving forward."

He nodded with a stern look: "That's ... You want me to ... read this out loud?"

"Yes, if you're willing. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do."

Seth took a deep breath and began to read without answering him. As his eyes skimmed each letter, each word of the paragraphs, he felt a weight fall from his chest.

At the same time, it felt overwhelming and yet peaceful to see and read aloud what he'd experienced from his own perspective. It just felt surreal and helped him accept what had happened to him.

As the seconds, minutes and hours passed, he read it over and over again.
This is how he trained his brain to think differently. A few times he cried a little because he felt the sadness and pain from the text come back to him in full force. It crushed his heart and soul, but he kept going.

Alfred didn't mind at all that he was taking his time. On the contrary, he encouraged Seth to do so. His smile never left his face because he knew that Seth was healing at his own pace.

The notes of Seth's words were on the clipboard, and although Seth knew the pain, you could read and feel the pain and suffering from the text. It was incredibly somber, and yet it helped Seth in ways he never thought possible.

For example.

Everything happens for a reason.

If his mother had never done that to him, the love he and Sarah have now mightn't have been as strong as the bond they've.

What makes a relationship work are the hardships that every couple has to go through. Every obstacle counts. Twists and turns, hill after hill.

As the last words of the heels left his lips, his body felt so light. It was as if an unknown force he never knew existed inside him was rising up inside him and finally taking permanent shape.

As he put the clipboard away, he could see Alfred grinning proudly at him. "Good job, Seth. We're going to do this every day to make sure it's had its full effect. We don't expect you to get better right away, remember that. But we'll move on to the next stage," he explained carefully.

Seth tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Exposure therapy. Where your trauma started."

"Exposure therapy? You mean you're going to ... try to make me less sensitive ... To reduce the fear of the ... Trauma or the memories?" asked Seth with interest.

He smiled brightly, "Indeed. It's to do with EMDR, which is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I focus on your past disturbances, your present triggers, and your future likely triggers.
We'll find a way for your brain to stop perceiving the memories as a disturbance.
This way, you can return to your daily life."

Seth nodded and rubbed his hands together hesitantly. "Where do we ... ... start?" he asked, taking his steps toward further recovery.
_ _ _

"What's ... this room?"

They'd walked all the way up the stairs from his office to a room that was locked with chains. It was hard to describe how Seth felt in this room, because he hadn't even entered it yet, but it felt eerie and cold. Something bad had happened in that room, and he didn't like it at all.

Alfred turned to him, his face was grim.

"Do you know what this room is, Seth?"

"In a place I don't ... want to enter, but no," he answered immediately.

He blinked, his eyes sad, "I unlock this door and I want you to go in. That's where it all started. Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole time. Do you understand?"

Seth nodded briefly at Alfred's vague instructions, but watched as he pulled several keys from his pocket and unlocked all the locks on the door. The chains fell with a dull bang and echoed. Stepping back, he waved Seth over and motioned for him to turn the knob.

As Seth reached for the knob, he began to sweat with fear. When his palms landed on it, he twisted it open so fast that it creaked open.

The room was dark and silent, but Alfred stepped into the space in front of him and reached to the wall to flick on the light. Gulping, Seth strode behind him, taking in his surroundings.

The wallpaper was incredibly old, eaten away by mold and age. The floor was covered in dust and grime, dirtiness spreading. There was a straw bed that seemed to be all but gone, and torn clothing strewn about the so-called bed.

And just like that, Seth fell to his knees as memories flashed through him. He could hear the cries of a child, feel the pain, the suffering and the anger. The abuse and neglect, the hatred that shone and glowed through the room. The cold and loneliness that settled over every corner, every spot of the room. The smell of a death wish.

Without knowing it, his body trembled.

He could see drops of water falling to the floor, wetting the dry ground beneath him.

As he reached for his face, he realized he was crying. The ringing in his ears grew louder and louder. He tried desperately to cover it up, but to no avail.

Alfred knelt down on the floor next to him, but Seth couldn't hear his words. It was only the sobbing of a child in the corner of the room, begging and pleading for everything to stop.

But they came and came, and they didn't care.

Seth felt the soft and warm touch of a hand, but it too only made him flinch. Then Seth felt angry, and then numb from it all. It alternated back and forth until he lost it and screamed, "GET AWAY FROM ME!
STOP !!! I'M SORRY, PLEASE! DON ... DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE!!!"

He caused such a commotion that he could feel his pack members becoming aware that their alpha was in danger. They were all awake and looking for him, wanting to help him.

His eyes wandered frantically around the room as he realized what Alfred had said at the beginning when it all started.

Finally he knew what this room was.

It was the room where he'd grown up when his father had fallen into a coma.

His prison and his torture chamber.

At this thought, he fell limply to the floor. Black dots took over his vision and transported him to the world of dreams, where no one could hurt him anymore.
_ _ _

"Seth..." a voice echoed.

"Sarah? Is that you?" he asked as darkness surrounded him. It was as if he were drowning in an endless sea of loneliness.

It couldn't be her. She'd been in a coma for months, and he was in this very room with Alfred. He couldn't do it. He couldn't make any progress.

"Seth, if anyone can do it, you can," Sarah said, replying sweetly.

It was dark, and though he'd longed to see her, hearing her voice was more than enough.

"But ... I don't know if I can. You're not here with me, and I don't know if I'll ever be good enough for you."

She giggled, "You'll always be good enough for me and I'll tell you as many times as you want to hear it. You don't need me to be who you want to be. You're everything and more. Now get up," she said, pushing him out of the sea.
_ _ _

"Damn it, Seth! Wake up!" Alfred poked him darkly on the cheek.

Seth snapped his eyes open, sat up quickly, and took in his surroundings. He was still in the room where his nightmares had begun.

He groaned, "How long have I been gone?"

"About five minutes, not that long."

He shook his head in disbelief. It seemed longer than five minutes to him. Then again, there was always the possibility that the dream world was shorter than reality. Then again, it probably wasn't a dream. He only heard her voice.

He stood up and looked around the room again.

It seemed surreal to him.

"I... saw Sarah." he whispered, almost in denial.

Alfred's eyes widened. "What, how? You almost died and you saw her?" he exclaimed.

Seth nodded meekly, "I heard Sarah's voice. She saved me."

He was silent for a while and finally sighed. "It's my fault, in part. I dragged you into this room because I knew you'd react somehow, but... I didn't know it would be this bad."

Seth comforted him, "I'm fine. Can we ...
Come into this room every day?"

Alfred seemed pleased by Seth's words, "Of course."

He helped Seth stand up as they left the room.

Seth took one last look at the room he'd been locked in for years, the one he'd nightmares about, the one that tormented him endlessly.

They'll have no more power over me, Seth thought, and closed the door and his demons.
_ _ _

Alfred and Seth came to the room every day.

At first Seth was hesitant and took a deep breath, but in time he was able to walk in easily with his head held high.

He will overcome his fears and be a true alpha.

I promised you, he thought, squeezing Sarah's hand as he sat beside her in the hospital bed. Her chest rose gently and her vital signs were stronger than before, showing him that she was doing better.

He kissed her forehead and smiled.

"I'll wait for you, no matter ... how long it takes."